Re adhd that was not an application question- he doesn’t get extra time and has no accommodations. I am not sure what you mean by disclosing this on the application.
I meant “during the application process” - mentioning it in your parent statement when answering questions of the type, “Is there anything else we need to know about your child?” or during the interview, so that the school is aware of it. This kind of info helps determine if the school will be a good fit for the student and a place where they’ll be happy and successful.
Thanks for the information. I am leaning against sps and toward brooks where I think he could have balance. I will see on revisit how it all feels.
Life is too short and I want him to thrive in not just survive this time
I really like SPS a lot. But as a FP parent, I’m really struggling with the big difference between tuition at SPS versus Exeter. Am I missing something (like undisclosed extras at Exeter) that explains the difference?
PS – Not all full pay parents own jets. Some of us are just hardworking stiffs who have scrimped and saved over the years and have accumulated a certain degree of wealth. For us, the tuition is a huge, life-changing sacrifice.
Both schools heavily subsidize tuition from their endowment funds. Exeter probably just does so to a larger extent. Phillips Exeter Academy has the largest endowment among all prep boarding schools at over one billion dollars. St. Paul’s School has the third largest endowment and has less than half the number of students than does Exeter. SPS, I believe, has the largest “endowment per student” of any boarding school at $1,250,000 per student.
Historically, St. Paul’s School was created to educate the children of America’s wealthiest & most powerful families. Phillips Exeter Academy & Phillips Academy at Andover were founded on a more egalitarian basis.
Regarding sleep - my kid is a 10th grader that needs a lot of sleep. He has not had an issue consistently getting 9 hours (or more) at SPS, even with a roommate that often stayed up well beyond midnight. Regardless of the school, kids need to learn to manage their time wisely.
My son is diligent about focusing on homework from 7-9 pm as well as during free blocks. He also plans ahead when there is a test or project due so he isn’t cramming at the last minute. But - most important - he has no FOMO (fear of missing out) and prioritizes sleep over almost everything else. (This is in contrast to other kids who prioritized socializing/youtube over sleep, and paid for it with stress and often less than stellar grades.)
BTW - teachers are limited to giving no more than 45 min of homework per class so the homework load is not overwhelming. Many classes don’t give homework every night.
What’s a virtual seared meal, @GoatMama ?
@CaliMex Parents Seated Meal is a dinner series inspired by the School’s Seated Meal. It allows current SPS parents the opportunity to connect with other parents in their local areas. All the gatherings take place on the same day: https://www.sps.edu/page/alumni-event-custom-registration-forms/parentssps-global-seated-meal-2019
@GoatMama What a great idea!
@PurpleTulip15 Hi, sorry for the delay!! This is entirely possible. I actually took both Latin and Spanish at St. Paul’s and it was an awesome experience.
@Livy2462 Did you do the Classical Honors Program? If not, do you know enough about it to speak to whether or not it is a worthy choice?
I’m halfway through the book written by the girl who was raped at SPS. The culture she described is misogynistic and very frat boy conformist. The bullying described is alarming. There seemed to be a lot of sexual contact.
Though it is several years ago and I realize leadership has changed, I am wondering how the environment is now?
I have a son who is a happy sweet kid who thinks got himself and is intellectually very curious. He loved SPS and we will revisit. Different places have different cultures and I am interested in how students would describe the culture now? Cutthroat? Supportive? Nurturing? Conformist?
- above should read “thinks for himself” not “thinks got himself”
Also we are curious about whether there is any support for executive function skills.
@mothere You may want to check the posts in the St. Paul’s School Concord NH thread: http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/discussion/comment/21895587#Comment_21895587
Since I’m a parent, not a student, I’ll defer to students for comments about school culture.
I am also a parent of a happy, sweet boy who thinks for himself. While I can’t speak firsthand about the culture, my son is still the kind, helpful and respectful person he was when he left home.
Please feel free to DM if you have any questions you’d rather not post.
Is your son overwhelmed?
My child struggles in efficiency once the volume is more than 2.5 h a night. He gets better every year and has no accommodations. I want to set up scaffolding to help address the stamina which frankly is better earlier in the evening than later.
Can I set up a structured study hall or ask for a lights out time?
We have a neighbor who was kicked out from sps (Or removed by parents) due to “Being addicted to video games” and “not going to class/not doing homework.”
Is it the case that a kid could just sleep in and skip classes and house parent would not notice? Wouldn’t parents be told early in the process
Also can a parent ask for a very hands on and communicative Sps advisor? Or maybe the schools he was accepted to c a study hall mandated would be a better option? We wish sps had this! If it did we would have fewer reservations.
I know kids have to advocate but if they don’t what safety nets are there? Or do they have the approach that naturalConsequences are the way kids learn which is true, but I’d rather learn through small early mistakes than catastrophic ones.
My sister 20 yrs ago got behind in college freshman fall due to sleeping through classes and was embarrassed so stopped going completely. She had to leave (not her choice) and the “failure” became a defining fact of her young adolescence for a long time in her mind. I have wondered if she had made a plan to set up practical help and parents had know whether it might have ended differently.
She had a few tumultuous years but is well now. She never got a degree.
Most schools have study hours, but no direct supervision to make sure the kid is actually using their time well.
Most schools have a supervised option for kids who need it, but because it is often mandatory for those whose grades are low, there might be a stigma among the kids that prevents kids from using it before they fall behind and their grades suffer.
You might encourage your kid to ask their host at the revisit.
1 Like
@mothere I’ll try to answer your questions…
My kid is not overwhelmed by the work. He rarely (if ever) has more than 2.5 hrs of work per night. The only exception would be if he procrastinated writing a paper or doing a project. Or, if he had exams and wanted to put in extra time to study.
There is a study hall and some kids go regularly on their own, others are required to go based on their grades or inability to manage their time. I’m not sure if a parent can request it, you can ask at revisit. You can work with their assigned advisor and request extra supervision until your son shows he can manage things on his own.
Kids cannot miss classes without it being noticed. If you miss a class and you aren’t in the health center, you get a “cut”. I believe your advisor is notified and if you get multiple cuts there are consequences such as early check in. In addition to the advisor, a roommate or friends in the dorm will often help if a kid is having trouble waking up in the morning.
Advisors are also notified if a kid is struggling in a class. The advisor will assist the kid in getting the support they need. SPS teachers provide interim grade reports. These do not appear on a transcript but are visible to parents and offer a good opportunity for conversation with the child, the advisor and the teacher.
I’m not sure how advisors are assigned but you can request a change if it isn’t working out.
I don’t believe SPS would kick someone out because they were addicted to video games. However, not going to classes and not doing their work probably means the kid isn’t ready to be in a boarding school environment. I believe there are some schools, such as Trinity-Pawling, that have extensive rules and support systems for making sure kids do what they need to do. Its my understanding that kids there start with the most restrictive and earn their way to less restrictive study conditions.
I don’t know your son and can’t judge his ability to self-manage. However, in my experience, people often rise to the level of expectations. If everyone else is focused on their classes, there’s a certain amount of peer pressure that encourages kids to focus on their classes.
I hope this helps. Please feel free to post again or dm if you have additional questions.
PS. Although not forbidden, most kids do not bring video game consoles to school.
That was tremendously helpful. Thank you! When we applied the idea of boarding school was far away and now that it may be a reality I am struggling. I am honestly not an anxious overprotective parent but am used to seeing my child daily and will miss him!
I know there are Saturday classes - wondering if it is the case that kids can get picked up from sports and go home after with their families and then get dropped back to school Sunday? We live about an hour away so even could drive up just for dinner occasionally.
I am honestly now having nightmares of dire things happening to my children. I recognize this is my issue and am trying to be open to his going. It is just hard.