<p>so ya this is my conclusion plz dont bash me :(</p>
<p>I have always had rejectophobia. The prospect of a mere mortal, such as me, applying to Harvard in no way abates this level of trepidation that resides in me. After writing this spectacular essay, I can safely say that I have successfully gotten over this horror. However, in this process of conquering my fear of rejection, I have come to appreciate what I had so painstalkingly abhorred in the past. So, in the end when I get accepted into your prestigious university prevalently known as Harvard, it is I who will be doing the rejecting, not you. Have a nice day!</p>
<p>Yeah, in your freaking dreams. You just sound pompous here you Henry Gates wannabe. And by saying you used to have rejectophobia, you just make it so that people WANT to bash on you after having read this.</p>
<p>Not only is the language in this annoying, but what are you saying? My essay is great, you will accept me, your school has some other name not commonly used, then I will reject you, good day? </p>
<p>The only way this has any chance of working is if the rest of the essay you fake being arrogant. Even then, this conclusion would be weak. </p>
<p>Is this serious? I really don’t think so.</p>
<p>I also saw you channeling the Henry gates wannabeish attitude here, if it matters.</p>
<p>Tone down the vocab and friskiness, streamline the grammar and redundancies… here’s my unprofessionally edited version:</p>
<p>“I have always had rejectophobia. The prospect of me, a mere mortal, applying to Harvard definitely does not help. But I can now safely say that I have gotten over this horror. I have come to appreciate what I had so painstalkingly avoided in the past. (Insert very very toned down do-over of last sentence)”</p>
<p>Compare closely to the original and you can see what I changed… half the words were rephrasing what you just said and you just weren’t using vocab correctly. Don’t try too hard.</p>
<p>“in this process of blah I have been maturing/transforming myself/undergoing BADAS.S CATHARSIS” - stay away from that sort of cheesy language.</p>
<p>you will get rejected with this. *** is up with the vocab and why are you talking about rejection? anything that has to do with the admissions process will end up in the reject pile.</p>
<p>You are writing as though you are some sort of masochist who wants to have admissions officers look at the essay and think it’s a joke, quite the opposite of a rejectophobe.</p>
<p>This will only work if it comes across as INTENDED to be funny. It could be funny, but if they don’t catch on to that, it will make you look a little ■■■■■■■■ at the very least. And either way, I don’t think Harvard will be willing to accept someone (who may or may not be joking) who says that they WILL turn down Harvard.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s worth the risk. It sounds like you’ve just written the perfect ‘reject me’ essay.</p>
<p>My advice. Write a new conclusion and pray that your body paragraph’s are not similar to the closing. In any way. It really is very bad. It just does not flow at all. Very difficult to understand, yet the difficulty in understanding has nothing to do with the obscure words at all. Infact, the obscure words are the easiest thing to understand about this essay.</p>
<p>Peter Griffin - “I find this steak shallow and pedantic.”</p>
<p>no offense, but the language and the writing was pretentious… really fake. that’s why the above quote is there. Making up words doesn’t bode well either. Not meaning to be rude, but you might have difficulty getting into Harvard if you thought this had a shot. I write better essays to a school that automatically admits me in its policy</p>
<p>I REALLY don’t like it. I don’t know what you were thinking while writing this.</p>
<p>I certainly don’t think Harvard will see too many conclusions like the one you wrote; in that respect, it’s unique. BUT, honestly “it is I who will be doing the rejecting???” Chances are a good number of admissions officers will not find this funny.</p>