I’ve had several interviews with other Ivy (and non-Ivy) schools and we usually would agree to meet early or late afternoon at a local coffee shop or library.
However, I’m a little concerned about my Harvard interview. It is scheduled for this Wednesday evening at a very expensive resturant. My first thought was that the location is a very noisy and expensive restaurant. I wanted to suggest something else, but I did not want to be that bold.
Also, I was worried and did NOT want to do anything that would start the interview off on a bad foot before it even got started. Then I wondered how am I to pay for a dinner at a place like that? Obviously I can not let him pay. What a mess!
I keep telling myself that maybe I’m worried about nothing. Has anyone else had an interview like this? And if this is the norm for what is considered one of the top schools in the world, do I have to make sure I pay attention and not eat my dinner with my salad fork? Oh my goodness, I’m a McDonalds or Burger King kind of kid.
Thanks and I appreciate any suggestions you might have.
If he invited you to the restaurant, assume that he’s paying. Have your parents give you a credit card just in case the guy doesn’t offer to pay. If the interviewer makes you pay, I would make a complaint to Harvard Admissions, as paying for the cost of your own dinner should not be part of an interview.
Firstly, you have to assume that the interviewer will be paying for whatever.
However, if the unthinkable happens " If the interviewer makes you pay…"
**You should calmly stare him in the eye and say: “You honestly think that after you invited me here, you are going to turn around and ask me, a 17-18 year old to pay? You’ve got to be mistaken.”
Then stand up immediately, gather your things, and go and find the manager. Inform him of what has occurred, and then leave.
I’ve interviewed for two other top schools, and I would never put a student in this position–it’s highly unusual. That said, at even the most expensive restaurants, it’s possible to order something relatively inexpensive–I’ve done so myself on some occasions. Just in case you get stuck with your share of the bill (which could happen), take a look at the appetizers and see if there’s a soup or other small dish you could order for under $10. You can always say you’re not feeling particularly hungry. At that point, your interviewer may encourage you to order whatever you want and say he’s paying; if he does this, I’d thank him but reiterate that you’re really not feeling very hungry and proceed with ordering the inexpensive appetizer. If he wants to pay for it, fine–say something like, “Are you sure?” and then if he insists, thank him. I can’t imagine he’ll expect you to pay for whatever he orders–most likely, he’ll pay for everything, but you might be expected to pay for whatever you order. Don’t stress too much over this–just go, order cheap, and focus on the interview. He might just be a really nice, generous interviewer who’s a bit clueless about how this could affect his interviewees. Good luck!
To be honest, this has seriously been stressing me out for the last few days, but reading your comments have truly helped me feel a whole lot better about it.
My mom has me on her credit card, so I will take that with me just in case and yes, I had planned to order some type of salad or something small.
Again, thank you so very much and I will keep you posted on how it goes.
Order something easy to eat; your idea of a salad is not a bad idea. You don’t want to be chewing when you should be talking. But, he’s probably a foodie, so listen if he suggests something that is a specialty of the restaurant.
I am sure that T26E4’s scenario won’t happen – as stated, it is unthinkable. The interviewer will assume that he will be paying, as he would even if he invited a friend to a meal at an expensive restaurant (much less a person with whom there is a power iinequality).
I’m going to go out on a limb, and I think that you’ll find the interviewer is a nice person who enjoys good food, and who would never think of having you pay for a restaurant he invited you to. My guess is that he thinks it would be a nice treat for both of you to enjoy a pleasant meal, and he would be mortified to think that he had caused you stress.
Please let us know how it went and don’t stress. Enjoy it!
ETA: re the silverware. You can google it, but in a pinch, work your way from the outside utensil to the inside. At good restaurants, the server will be removing/adding utensils depending on your order, so you probably won’t get in trouble. There is no shame in not having experience with high end dining.
First, thank you to everyone for helping to put me in the right frame of mind for last night’s interview.
I think the interview went very well, and at least based on what he said, he planned on provided me with his highest recommendation.
But unfortunately I did end up paying for my own meal. Once the check was brought to the table he immediately picked it up and I felt such a sense of relief, but within two seconds that went away when he asked her to split the bill. Since I knew my portion was only a little over $14.00 (I had the salad as planned, and a glass of water), I apologized to the waitress for her having to redo the check and told her that the salad was mine. She was so nice about it.
Have you ever had something happened that you feel is so completely off or just so extremely out of place that you begin to question yourself? That’s how I felt. I think the lesson I’ve learned from this is, no matter how badly I want something (or how intimidated I might feel) that I should always speak up for myself. I was so wrapped up in this really being “IT”! I was so caught up in the fact that I was finally having my Harvard interview!
However, at the end of the day, I wonder what would have happened if I had just simply said, thank you for the dinner offer, but I have a class project to work on, so if possible, can we please meet earlier at one of the local Starbucks or other coffee shops.
Once I got back home, I had to laugh at myself just thinking of the time I waisted stressing out over this dinner interview. The time I spent going up to the restaurant the day before just to look at the menu in advance so that I would not spend too much time during the dinner trying to find the most cost effective thing to order AND also making sure I could pronounce my order correctly incase it had a fancy name. LOL!!
I still shake my head when I think about it, but it’s over now. That was my last college interview and I’m so happy!
You’re welcome for the support, but apparently mine was based on a misunderstanding of how an interviewer would act. I am shocked. More experienced members can recommend what and how you should communicate with the school, but this is over the top.
I cannot overemphasize how wrong this was.
I’m glad that you’re done with interviews and happy. I don’t know where else you’ve applied, but I’m sure Yale interviewers would never do such a thing
I agree with @IxnayBob—this was very unfortunate and should be reported to Harvard. You should probably wait until the interview report has been submitted; after that, though, I wouldn’t hesitate to contact them. If you’d rather wait until after you receive your decision, that would be fine, too, but you should definitely speak up. At least you were prepared—great job, and now you’re done! Unfortunately, I don’t think colleges fully realize how much something like this can affect a student’s perception of the school—and desire to go there.
To be honest, I think I was spoiled by the other interviews. Everyone was so helpful and knowledgeable, they were all so wonderful and relaxed. I believe I learned something from each one of them. And yes, Yale was one of them also.
However, I do not think what happened was school specific, I really believe it was just the individual. I sincerely do not think he realized he did anything wrong. Poor judgement on his part, maybe, but as I mentioned earlier, I played a small part in this too.
With the exception of the meeting location, I enjoyed the interview and he was extremely knowledgeable and helpful as well.
In my interview thank you email this morning, I did thank him for his time, however, I also took that opportunity to lightly (in a one sentence type of thing) mention my concern about the meeting location and it’s expense on a high school student.
I have not received a response yet, but perhaps he will think about it a little more if he has other interviews to do.
Yes, I am so glad this part of the college hunt is over!
Hmmm, will I have to go through this type of thing again in a few years with MCAT tests, top graduate schools and more interviews? LOL!!
You picked your username wisely; you find the silver lining. That will stand you in good stead throughout life.
You will have more interviews (eg, internships) but you are unlikely to have this situation recur. It’s a $14 story you can tell.
I can’t speak for academia, but I’ve done a zillion employment interviews, from both sides of the desk, and I’d gladly pay for this kind of story to tell my colleagues
This is interesting. Out of all of my interviews, I felt that my Harvard interviewer was the least friendly…
hmmmmm.
On the other hand, I feel like Harvard is definitely trying to revamp their image. They’re trying to admitted nicer students .
@HappyCamper2015 I interview for my Alma mater Carnegie Mellon. We are specifically instructed to meet students at cafe or a similar public place. However if I am to offer student a coffee or anything to eat etc. I am expected to pay for it and NOT the student. It is ridiculous to ask a student to pay. Its unacceptable period!
Having you pay for your meal when invited to be interviewed at the place of your interviewer’s choosing is absolutely classless. It is just not done in any conceivable interview situation.
It is not a meal shared with colleagues. It is an interview - thus the interviewer is wielding a power over you that is wrong and reportable.
I know that as the interviewee, one really does not want to rock the boat for the fear that it gets back to the interviewer who is likely someone in their community, much less worry about not being admitted for something they may retaliate with, but like many crimes, the only way to stop this is to report it.
An avenue would be to speak to your college guidance counsellor at your school who has the Harvard adcom’s name and contact information, and hopefully he/she will bring this information to their attention.
Best of luck, OP. Not all Harvard is as classless.
I would never, ever ask an applicant to pay for a meal at an expensive restaurant for and interview. That was an extreme abuse of power and authority since you were in no position to say no with your coveted Harvard acceptance hanging in the balance. Your parents should report this to the school - and yes, I would wait until after the acceptances come out. I would never want you to think that a bad outcome was a result of your complaint. This is akin to harassment and was extremely thoughtless.
I have kids come to Starbucks or Panera and I always offer to buy them something to drink. I would never allow them to pay for me or put them in a position that they would have to stress about how much something costs. The interview is stressful enough. I don’t know if you interviewed anywhere else but I’ll bet my next paycheck if you had one with Yale, nothing even remotely like this happened.
Good luck and add this experience to your calculations when you are deciding on which school to ultimately attend. Though I must say that even though I’m not pushing for Harvard (perish the thought), I can say that you shouldn’t let one bad experience with a clueless alumni taint your whole outlook.
