Harvard v Stanford- Opinions, please!

Parents Forum
1

<p>I know it is sick that D has such great choices... but the Harvard acceptance really was a shock. Anyway, since neither H or I have any experience with these schools, I was wondering whether any of you have opinions, based on your own or your child's experience.</p>

<p>A little background: we are from So Cal, where D attended a rigorous private school through the beginning of her junior year. D was very involved in student government and volunteered for a non-profit teaching science to URMs. D excelled in all subjects, particularly math and science. D became very ill her junior year and had to drop out after two months (another story...), so decided to restart her junior year at an East Coast boarding school. After some adjustment ("kids here are different than in California..."), D excelled, eventually becoming senior class pres, among other things. She now has good friends on both coasts...</p>

<p>D is interested in pre-med or bio-engineering. Hopefully, she will eventually return to CA, but who knows! She is a relatively easy-going person, although she obviously expects a lot from herself. She gets along with almost everyone, and is sweet and friendly- not at all conceited.</p>

<p>So, what do you think???</p>

2

<p>Has she visited either school? Does she have a preference for weather? Is she a sports fan? Does she have a specific major she is interested in, for example a major that might exist at one and not at the other...petroleum engineering/or alternative fuel sources? (example from my son!)</p>

<p>Airline travel? Does she have a preference?</p>

<p>My son was admitted 2 years ago to schools that he was pretty sure were great "fits", as did the admissions committees, and it wasn't until he visited for accepted student days and some visits were NOT on those days did he really know which one he wanted.</p>

<p>He managed to fit several (7) in less than 2 weeks and was able to narrow it down to 2, very quickly. After that it took til April 30th. He had alot of soul searching. He knew the money issues going in, and went from there.</p>

<p>Made his decision and has never looked back.</p>

<p>HA! That's what he thought until his brother went and applied and was accepted to the one he walked away from. DRAMA in our house.</p>

<p>Sibling competition is alive and well!!!</p>

<p>A day can't go by without the two of them jabbing at each other on Facebook, text messages, AIM away messages, phone calls and mutual friends. It is unending!</p>

<p>Of course their sis HAD to call both of them from her collegiate team's Nationals to one-up them this past weekend. I'll be hearing about that for weeks.</p>

<p>Again, what is she thinking? How does she feel?</p>

<p>Son thought for sure MIT, CalTech, Penn's M & T program, Chicago's math...but nope. It came down to Princeton and one of the service academies. Big difference, but both having what he truly needed.</p>

<p>He went with his gut.</p>

<p>Good luck and CONGRATS!!!</p>

<p>Kat</p>

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<p>Haha, I think it's cool how you're a mom who says "sick." </p>

<p>Congrats btw!</p>

4

<p>if she's interested in bio-engineering, stanford's engineering departments are much better. (not that I would base a choice solely on this..but if she can't choose than its something to think about)</p>

5

<p>As I mentioned the other day, my D went through this and chose H. I'll try to give you some of her reasons. She visited both, and one of the biggest differences she found (other than the obvious one of weather -- you don't need to visit to recognize that one) was the segregated (by choice) housing at Stanford, compared to the randomly assigned housing at Harvard. Her dorm on the Yard freshman year had every imaginable race and ethnicity, income level, interest, geographical origin. At least when she was looking at Stanford, students there could select an Asian dorm or a Latino dorm (I don't recall if there was an African-American dorm). She felt that that sort of arrangement would limit her from meeting as many people different from herself as she would if housing were randomly mixed. </p>

<p>There was also another dorm that separated the SLE (? I think that was the abbreviation) students from the rest of the students, and she kept hearing that she shouldn't do SLE, because it would be considered "social suicide." The program appealed to her intellectually but not socially. She didn't care for the cordoning off of the super intellectual crowd. </p>

<p>All that said, she has quite a few friends who are at Stanford and are extremely happy there. I'd recommend that your D visit both and see what she thinks. Mine did the official admit weekend at Stanford, and she said that felt a bit too much like high school, with lots of kids posturing about how cool they really are. Maybe kids are like that at all admit weekends. I don't know. (It also didn't help that her hosts bickered the entire time she was there, but that could definitely happen anywhere.)</p>

<p>She couldn't get to the admit weekend at Harvard, so she visited for a day and a half a week earlier. Thanks to the extraordinary kindness of several Harvard CC parents (Marite, Coureur, BanditTX), who, in response to my desperate plea for someone to please talk to my D who had found herself abandoned by her overly busy host, called their children, who essentially dropped everything to come to my D's rescue. (sorry for the cumbersome sentence) It was probably that experience more than anything that sealed the deal. Everyone she met went out of his or her way to be friendly, including the math teach of a math course that was waaaaaay over her head. One boy even recognized her the next day and asked if she needed any help finding anything or had any questions. </p>

<p>My D is a happy child, and I have no doubt that she would have been very happy at Stanford (or UNC!). Feel free to follow up or to PM me if you'd rather.</p>

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<p>Many years ago, I picked Stanford over Harvard in order to have the experience of living on the "other" coast. I've never regretted it.</p>

7

<p>Well, the son of a good friend of mine had the same dilemma. In the end, he chose Stanford because</p>

<ul>
<li><p>he visited Harvard on a snowy, gray long weekend - the week before he saw Stanford girls in bikinis studying pool side. </p></li>
<li><p>his own parents/relatives did the Ivy/east coast LAC thing; he wanted to do something different.</p></li>
<li><p>he found the students at Harvard more aggressively competitive than at Stanford... where it was cooler to be outstanding but (relatively) mellow about it.</p></li>
<li><p>he thought the west coast was more poised for the future than the east, which he found to be more conservative in its thinking/life style.</p></li>
</ul>

<p>He had four glorious years at Stanford and not a minute of regret. Now's he's in graduate school... at Harvard. :)</p>

8

<p>Thanks! I understand; Had to tell D1 (at UCSD) that D2 was into Harvard yesterday.....she seems fine, but I'm sure it will resurface! It's very tough when the younger sibling is the one always excelling. S is the youngest...and we're not sure where he'll want to go, so he's not yet "in the mix."</p>

<p>For D2, the weather IS a factor, but I doubt it would rule. She loves watching sports, but I don't think that would affect her decision, either. </p>

<p>She has visited both campuses...but has not done an official tour at Harvard....she really did not expect the acceptance. She does like Boston- we have spent quite a bit of time there over the last two years.</p>

<p>Her intended major is still open- just the bio-engineering/ pre-med focus.</p>

<p>And she flies in and out of Boston now, so I doubt that will be a huge factor.</p>

<p>I'm more interested in what the students are like; for example, someone said the Harvard students are more likely to specialize sooner whereas at Stanford they're more well-rounded. Also, how much focus is on each school's undergrad vs grad school students? What about classes taught by TAs vs professors- or class sizes?? Is there any difference as far as graduate/medical school placement?</p>

<p>Any thoughts are appreciated....we just weren't prepared for this choice.</p>

9

<p>I do have to say, Boston/Cambridge are far more interesting/exciting than Palo Alto...</p>

10

<p>hiawatha1919-</p>

<p>but I meant sick as in sort of disgusting.....that she should be so fortunate when so many others are not.....I feel kind of guilty......I don't know if that is how you use the word!!!</p>

<p>:D</p>

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<p>katliamom-</p>

<p>I completely agree that Boston is a much better location, at least except for weather!</p>

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<p>From my perspective, Cambridge is much more exciting than Stanford.
Stanford is a gentrified suburb of San Francisco with an expensive shopping mall adjacent to campus. Access to SF is not that easy without a car.</p>

<p>Sure, Stanford has decent CA weather, but it's Norcal weather not San Diego weather.</p>

<p>Plus...it's Harvard...:)</p>

<p><em>Sorry I cross posted with opinions already reflecting this observation</em></p>

13

<p>I agree with almost everything said so far. Impressionistically:</p>

<p>On a comparative basis, there is more naked ambition and pretentiousness at Harvard. It is perhaps more honest for that. There is plenty of outsized ambition and pretentiousness at Stanford, but it is carefully disguised.</p>

<p>On a comparative basis, there is a LOT more nakedness at Stanford. I'll never forget an unguarded comment by a Yale professor lecturing there for the first time: "How the hell does anyone get any work done here? None of the students are wearing enough clothes!"</p>

<p>Really, there is nothing at stake in this decision. They are both wonderful. Each has its own slightly different culture, but almost any good student can thrive either place. There's no downside.</p>

<p>If your daughter hadn't just spent two years at a New England prep school, she might have to go to Harvard to get out of the Cali bubble. But that doesn't apply. This is a decision that can perfectly appropriately be made on a purely gut basis, or for any reason at all, no matter how trivial or irrational.</p>

14

<p>"segregated (by choice) housing at Stanford, compared to the randomly assigned housing at Harvard."</p>

<p>This was a huge factor for me when I had to make this choice. Separate, special hosues for crunchy vegetarians, for frat boys, etc. etc...that didn't appeal to me. I wanted to mix with everyone.</p>

15

<p>^ Yeah, we had those at Berkeley, too...they call it "Theme" housing. I don't get it either.</p>

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<p>I think I mentioned the reasons I didn't like Stanford when I met your daughter. I think the main one for me is its separateness from the surroundings - it feels like a bubble. At Harvard you are always interacting with Cambridge and Boston really is right there too. I also like the residential house system at Harvard. Stanford always feels a little too sterile and country club-ish to me. Not sure that it's rational, just the gut feeling the place gives me. And there's nothing like lying on the banks of the Charles and doing the Sunday crossword puzzle!</p>

<p>I remember reading once that Chelsea Clinton had to make the choice between Stanford and Harvard and she was advised to pick what you don't know, so she left the east coast to for Stanford. I think there's something to be said for that. However your daughter has had two years in New England - so that argument is a bit muddied!</p>

<p>I hope your daughter will be able to go to the accepted students weekend at Harvard - all the clubs will make presentations, you can hear kids present research, and there's a fair amount of free time. She'll be able to get a better feel for what it feels like.</p>

<p>She can't make a wrong choice here.</p>

17

<p>Both are great, of course. I would rather be NEAR San Francisco than in Boston. I just like it better as a city. The greyness of Boston is a deal-breaker for me.</p>

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<p>With regard to what has been referred to here as "segregated housing" at Stanford I'd like to clear up a couple misconceptions.</p>

<p>Stanford offers students an incredible array of housing options. There is no need at all to segregate oneself. Incoming frosh can pick an all-frosh dorm (my daughter's is extremely ethnically and geographically diverse, btw), or a mixed class dorm. They can decide whether they want a coed dorm, and if so, whether they'd prefer a single sex floor within that or not.</p>

<p>No one has to choose SLE or FroSoCo, but each has certain advantages that appeal to some. Otherwise, there wouldn't be competition to get into those houses. </p>

<p>And lastly, you don't have to be Latino or Asian to live in the so-called ethnic houses.</p>

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<p>I understand what you're saying, cattv, but that's what I meant by segregated by choice. If a certain type of student chooses to live mostly with that same type of student, that takes them out of the general mix and reduces the variety in the other housing. I'd venture to guess that if many Latino students are choosing the Latino ethnic house, there is a lower concentration of Latino students in the other housing. It's a matter of personal preference if you like that, but it bothered my daughter.</p>

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<p>"There is no need at all to segregate oneself."</p>

<p>But if some groups of students have segregated THEMselves into theme houses, then you won't have an opportunity to live with those students, even if you choose the most "mixed" housing available to you.</p>

<p>It's a matter of personal preference, but I like the residential college style.</p>

<p>Whoa, thinking alike with nceph.</p>