<p>My daughter is a sophomore and a new RA at her school. Just finished her 2 weeks of RA training and this is the week of Welcome/move in prior to school starting on the 24th.
Any other parents out there whose daughter/son have been RAs? Just curious about their experiences and any "nightmare" stories. She called me last night with this: " I went to see my friends from last year at their new apartment. I didn't know it was going to be a party. There is alchohol here. Everyone is underage." She doesn't drink and her friends respect her for that choice. She decided to get a ride back to the dorm from another RA who came to pick her up. She wasn't about to risk her job and school hasn't even started. I am sure this is going to happen again.
Anyway, thanks for any input or stories!</p>
<p>Our son was not an RA but my wife was. Her horror story was talking down a student who fancied herself as a Nazi. Her room mates boyfried would mock her beliefs and she pulled a knife on him. The roomate got to my future wife to tell her of the situation. By the time she entered the room, the boyfriend was holed up in a corner and the Nazi was stabbing a text book with the knife.</p>
<p>Other RA’s hovered outside in the hallway as my wife talked her down and was given the knife. The freshman coed was expelled the next day when the incident report was filed with the dean of students. This was done with her parents in a meeting with the dean of students and one of the health services psychologists which tended to her immediately after the incident. As far as my wife knows law enforcement was not involved in the incident and my wife did not have to testify at any legal proceeding.</p>
<p>Um. I think that’s just as much a roommate horror story as a RA horror story, and that’s the worst I’ve yet heard. I wonder if it’s too late for me to get a single! XD</p>
<p>My RA last year had to kick out a girl’s birthday stripper because it was a Tuesday and long after quiet hours. It wasn’t so much a horror story for everyone else because it was honestly hilarious, but for the RA it was awkward and the girls were upset because they were all of age and had paid good money for the stripper.</p>
<p>One of my kids was an RA and it was generally a great experience. The absolute worst experience was a freshman’s fatal accident apparently involving drugs or alcohol. The RAs were called in immediately and given help to deal with the situation, but they also had to help pack the kid’s belongings. Heartbreaking and tramautic.</p>
<p>I was an RA during my Sophomore and Junior years. I loved it, but in hindsight, I should have been given no authority whatsoever. :)</p>
<p>My worst experience was handling a roommate conflict in which one student was a total slob, in the worst ways. It came to a head one night when said student peed in a cup because he was too lazy to walk down the hall. His roommate, walking in the dark around 2:00 a.m., knocked it over, and was understandably furious. He spent the next hour screaming at his roommate, me, and the hall manager about his right not to encounter anyone else’s waste products in his own room. Fortunately, this is far from death, overdose, or other truly serious problems. Still upsetting, though.</p>
<p>There was another case of a student from NYC (this was in the rural Midwest) who apparently was accused of sexual assault. Fortunately, I didn’t have to deal with this myself; he just disappeared one night, presumably home to face trial. I would not have known what to do.</p>
<p>My son’s R.A. got fired for “misuse of a key”. One kid on his floor said another kid stole something and that if he checked his room, he’d surely find the item. That was grounds for firing. The next R.A. ended up quitting because no one on the floor listened to him. I think the third one managed to finish the year. </p>
<p>I know a girl who is an R.A. at Williams this year and she says they get no compensation. Kids do it just for the experience. That seems crazy to me!</p>
<p>No compensation? Wow. I got free room and board. That may have been more than I was worth, but to get nothing for so much trouble seems wrong.</p>
<p>The boy next door is an RA. He has grown up with three brothers, no sisters, but spent a great deal of time at our house. He was extremely close to my daughter when they were both younger. One of his first RA experiences was a girl that came to his door and burst into tears. She calmed down enough to sputter out that her roommate hated her. He asked what had been said and she said nothing, she could tell by the way the roommate was breathing. He said he’d have thought she was nuts but then remembered some of the things that went on between my two daughters and it gave him a different perspective. I think it will make him a great husband for some lucky woman some day.</p>
<p>if her job as an ra is at risk just because she was at a party with underage drinking then please tell your daughter that i apologize for the ridiculous rules/standards her program sets. i just graduated this spring, spent three years as an ra, and i loved every minute of it (of course our program is very “reasonable” about some things, such as going out). </p>
<p>i can’t say i had any true nightmare stories, because you kinda have to expect SOMETHING big to happen, but i’ll share some of the more memorable/severe incidents. i probably called 911 a dozen times in my time as an RA, whether for severe illness (alcohol related or not), illegal substances in the residence hall or suspicious persons. i’ve been woken early in the morning many a time because a resident is scared for their roommate who passed out and consumed way too much - those tend to be the most nerve racking situations for me. i was always fairly comfortable in the situation, it’s just dealing with the roommate or other residents who may be freaking out about it(esp if medical personnel/police are called). </p>
<p>i actually did have one situation where a resident locked themselves in their room after a night of heavy drinking (lived in a single room, no roommate) and was left passed out on their bed, face up. we don’t have keys to our residents’ rooms at my school, and since he wouldn’t wake up to us calling him on the phone and banging on the door, we had to call the police to get in. it was scary that he wasn’t responding to the banging and calling but we were able to get him up after a few minutes once we were inside. </p>
<p>serious roommate conflicts can be really hard to deal with, esp if the ra is close with the residents (which i imagine your daughter only being a sophomore it’ll be easy for her to be friends with the girls she oversees). i had one situation 2 years ago where one of my guys was dealing with some serious psychological matters, and as a gym-rat and very strong/athletic dude, could get pretty scary when he got mad and started throwing his chair at the wall or punching the wall. </p>
<p>with all the hard times there are so many good times, though, and so many rewarding experiences. the best thing about being an ra is seeing how you impact your residents. Not only does this happen when you handle a tough situation (like any of the things mentioned above, or something more one-on-one/personal like a resident coming out to you and looking for help in how to approach coming out to friends/family) but also through the opportunities you provide through programming and through the knowledge and wisdom you pass along about classes, activities, housing, student life, etc. </p>
<p>being an ra was the best thing about my university experience, hands down.</p>
<p>oh jeez, sorry for the novel :P</p>