I am three days into my study abroad semester and I absolutely hate it and am wondering why I the word I decided to go. I knew that study abroad wouldn’t be easy, but I just expected that because I would be living in an awesome city with a lot to do I would be so excited and able to work past the difficulty, but that isn’t happening.
I had never visited the city I am in prior to the program, and it is very different from what I expected. I am not excited about exploring the city or the historic sites as every time I go out I find the city to be gross and run down and not at all what I had envisioned. I also looked forward to being able to have easy access to museums, shops, restaurants, etc. but my apartment is located far away from all the things I imagined myself doing.
My apartment is in a gross part of town that I feel unsafe in (not well lit and scarcely populated at night, I have seen homeless people roaming around). Also it is very far from the university I am studying at, and feel unsafe walking back or using public transport at night, which I would need to do to participate in student activities. I am not the type of person who enjoys going partying into the morning and hours and getting wasted, but this seems to be the main reason that my roommates signed up to study abroad. Because of the dodgy area of town I am pretty forced into hanging out with them if I ever want to leave the apartment.
All of this has felt me feeling so depressed to the point that I don’t care about seeing all of the monuments and doing the activities that I had in mind for this semester in my home city or any other city. What’s point of spendings all of this time and money traveling when I feel so depressed that I don’t even care about seeing it?
I have seen so many stories where people talk about how their semester was a struggle or whatever and looking back they are glad they got through it, but I don’t want to sit here wasting my time trying to “grin and bear it” through the next four months. I’m just so ready to go home.
It’s been only three days. Give it three weeks and see how you’re feeling. My daughter’s study abroad program emphasized over and over that students almost always feel like bailing for a couple of weeks. Hang in there!
The first question I have is whether you know yourself well enough to know whether you tend to be slow to warm up to new experiences. Did you dislike college for the first few weeks, for instance. Did you have a tough time leaving home? Do you feel more secure when you are on a schedule doing things you are familiar with. If so, this is likely to only be an adjustment period and things will likely improve. If not, then you should consider whether your concerns about safety are on target or exaggerated. If on target, you may want to talk with your home college about your options. Can you return and resume classes there? Can you take incomplete at foreign school and complete them from afar. if you are a wealthy student who won’t be hurt by lose of tuition money, you could simply return home for a couple of months. I am not a big supporter of students living in burnt out/raunchy parts of town-any town.
I tend to struggle knowing what I want, but I definitely know what I don’t want; and I think that this may a case where this is true. I moved off campus after freshman year and have lived with my parents since and this situation is reminding me of why I chose to do that and how that was the right decision for me. I am not sure how to gage whether or not my safety concerns are legitimate, other than at this point I don’t even feel safe leaving by myself during the day. Also, my parents are quite concerned about my safety as well.
Cities in other countries tend to look dirtier than U.S. cities because they are so much older – by hundreds of years or more. Public transportation is used by a wider spectrum of the population abroad than in the U.S., including by students. It is possible that the area and transportation are not as dangerous as they seem.
Find out if more students live in your part of town, and explore options to move to different housing, including homestays where you could be with a family and have the feeling of living at home.
Four months is not long. Stick it out. I hosted exchange students in the past, and one had been sent abroad against her will and was miserable when she first arrived. Within three months, she announced she never wanted to return to her home country she loved it so much. How you feel now is not an indication of how you will continue to view your situation and this city and country.
Study abroad is tough, but are you really going to give up after three days? That’s ridiculous. Stick this out, and in a month or less you will probably agree with me. Coping with different places and different people is a good life skill.
You have known your roommates for THREE DAYS! They are almost complete strangers. I very much doubt they are going to party every night for four months. Give them a chance. If you spend your time complaining and sulking in your room they probably aren’t going to be your best friends.
I’d recommend making friends with local students if possible (but no doubt you can find a reason not to. Remember this is a choice you are making) and you may find others who live near you, other public transport routes or other alternatives (bicycle? ). Another source of friends could be an international society at your host school or language lessons (you will often find language clubs or cafes where students will be keen to talk to you to practise their English).
If it is mainly your accommodation that is the problem you need to contact the program organiser to see if you can switch. Try to think of concrete reasons though. “It doesn’t live up to my imagination” is not a reason. Also, it’s common in many countries for college students to be treated like fully functional independent adults. You might be expected to solve your own problems (eg you can move out, but it’s up to you to find somewhere else).
Finally, consider climate. Are you in Europe right now in the winter? Didn’t realise it got dark at 4pm? Day length is messing with your brain (plus jet lag - it’s only three days since you stepped off the plane! ), especially if you are used to a warmer climate. I recommend making sure you get outside in the middle of the day, even if it’s cold. You need the sunlight. Also try taking some exercise. I am from a warm climate originally but I quite like the cosy dark days now).
I loved our trips to Europe, and I fantasize about moving there - but on both trips I felt a little weird the first few days. It’s just dramatically different when you go to another country. It’s very easy to wonder what you were thinking when all this was planned. Chances are, though, that down the road you will be grateful to have had this experience.
If you’ve been living with your parents for awhile, these negative feelings will seem even worse.
Hang in there and give it a little time. Wishing you luck.
You have made an unusually big study abroad leap: for somebody who found living away at college too much to take on, to somebody who signed up to live in a different country for 4 months- I’m not surprised that you are amazed to find yourself there! Stop and take a deep breath. Give yourself credit for making this huge change. If you need to, have a good ‘oh my golly, what have I gotten myself into’ cry.
Then, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and re-read all the posts above- some of the best CC posters have given you really good advice. Ask people in your classes where they live, what transport they use. Find out more about your neighborhood. Is it actually dangerous, or just unlovely? If you would tell us the city you are in, some of us are likely to know specific, useful things.
Doubt anyone cares, but I thought I would do an update in case anyone in a similar situation reads this. Silly me, I’m loving it! Literally things did a 180 and I’m loving it and having the time of my life here. Those first couple of days sucked horribly, and housing situation isn’t great, but im getting used to it all. Any students in similar situations, listen to the advice others gave and good luck!
Wow, what a turnaround! Good for you! Thanks for coming back to post again. You are right, any students in similar situations will benefit from your sharing this experience. Our D spent a semester abroad last year and loved it. There is nothing like being immersed in another country / language / culture. It will stay with you for the rest of your life. Be careful and use your BEST judgment and…enjoy!
So glad to hear your feelings about being abroad have turned around and you are having a better time. My daughter went to school in England for two years and your initial post had me remembering our first skypes…it was dark, cold and damp when she arrived. Her initial perceptions of it all were tainted by that. Your post had me wondering if the weather was getting to you. Like you, in short order her feelings changed. Have a wonderful semester.
