So I am currently a freshman and I’ve been in college for about 3 months now and I have not made any close friends. I am mostly an introvert but I do love to meet new people, and I would not say that I am awkward around others. I tried rushing for a sorority the first week but got dropped before the last round, which really discouraged me, and after that, I applied for some other clubs, but they are so competitive that I did not get in.
I did not know my roommates before coming to college and they are nice but can get loud/annoying sometimes. My hall is one of those anti-social halls where everyone stays in their own rooms and does not interact with each other. I have a friend from orientation who always says that we should hang out but never really reaches out to me.
I hate to see all my friends from high school having so much fun and I am just alone most of the time. I did not make close friends in high school until junior year, but I went to a small high school where everyone knew each other and saw each other every day, so at least I had a friend group. Being at a large state school makes it so much harder to see everyone or to get close to people especially if they do not live in your hall.
I do talk to people in classes and have decent convos, but after class, we do not interact much unless it is about a homework question or study group. I will try to go to a few club meetings this new semester but I am scared that the people I meet will only be simply acquaintances.
Don’t get me wrong I do not entirely hate it here; the academics are great and the campus is awesome, but it sucks being lonely in college. I know that college is all about the people you meet but I have not formed any close relationships with anyone
I’m in the same position as you! I literally just get by by asking “What are you doing tonight?” to my “acquaintances”. I made a friend just by doing this and we hangout all the time so that helped but I still don’t feel close to anyone. I also had a girl who I had my morning classes with, so I would talk to her and get breakfast with her. It’s hard to find that bond that you had with your high school friends and it seems like everyone else has it all figured out! The advice that a lot of people have given me is just find people to fill the time with and eventually you’ll make close friends. Don’t force it or rush it. Not everyone is lucky to have the greatest roommates that they love so much or the person they met at orientation that they do everything with. It doesn’t mean you’ll never make friends.
I would begin by trying to collect numbers/Snapchats from classmates. Then when Friday or Saturday comes, it might be appropriate to invite 1 or 2 friends to go to a sporting event, a concert, or a fun casual restaurant. Or you could have a night in your dorm- even just watching Netflix could be a fun activity! Continue to do this with different people until you have a lot of peoples’ contact information and start getting invited back. It may feel like you’re doing nearly all the effort of planning fun things at first. This is okay. You’re probably not used to experiencing risk and disappointment in the social area of your life. Be ready to take all of this on- the rewards are completely worth it in the end! Besides, the worst thing that could happen is that someone doesn’t text you back.
Get a job or go get into volunteering. You will meet like-minded people.
This is what my daughter did and made lots of good friends that way.
She volunteered to be a student tech at a low income community clinic. Worked well for her.
Don’t be so sure all the others who seem to have close friendships do. There are lots of people in college who are perfectly happy with lots of casual friendships that come and go. They may look like they are having a blast in photos. Most people don’t cry for the camera. It sounds like you are doing the right things. Keep inviting peers you find interesting to do things. It will happen if you continue to take actions.
Remember, your education is the most important reason you are at college. Take care of that first. Keep reaching out and you won’t be alone forever.
