<p>I'm a freshman. I've been at college for two months and I'm having an incredibly hard time adjusting. For one thing, I'm extremely homesick. I'm only 2 hours away from home but it feels farther. I was never one who was excited about living away from home. I'm really close with my parents and brother and I always dreaded moving away from them. About a month before I had to move into the dorms, I became extremely nervous and would find myself crying during the day about leaving home. My mom thought I was just really nervous because college was a new experience and that I would feel better once I arrived at school. Well that didn't happen. I felt worse once my parents left. In fact, I've pretty much cried everyday these past 2 months. A big reason for this is my roommate situation. My roommates seemed ok when I talked to them before we moved in, but it really just didn't work out once we all got there. My first roommate who I got along well with, moved out 3 weeks into the semester. My second roommate is not very respectful, an extreme partyer and is constantly coming back drunk. She keeps me up very late, and also takes over half our very small room. I find this hard to handle because I'm not someone who goes out and parties and drinks. I like to have fun, but parties and drinking just isn't my thing. I tried to switch into a better housing situation but unfortunately a better option didn't come along.
My classes aren't bad, but I find it difficult to concentrate on homework. Once I get back to my dorm, I just think about how much happier I would be if I were home. I'm constantly calling my parents because the only time I really feel ok is if I'm talking to them.
I'm also having a hard time making friends. I am a shy person, but it hasn't stopped me from making friends in the past. I try to say hi to people in my hall, but usually they just ignore me. This is very discouraging. I try to be friendly but it's just not working.
I am going to see a counselor at my school. It's somewhat helpful to talk to someone I guess. But I just can't help wondering if maybe I should have taken a semester or a year off to better prepare myself for college and living away from home. I've also thought of the possibility of transferring to somewhere closer to home after this semester but I'm just unsure of what to do. My parents want me to try and stick it out this semester. Right now, I just don't see how I'm going to make it. I hate it here so much that I know it's going to be difficult for me to do well academically this semester. I don't get enough sleep and I really don't eat much. Does anyone have any advice on how to ease the feelings of homesickness? Please don't just say things like "make friends" I am trying to do that, but being a shyer person it takes me a little longer to build relationships.
Anyways, thanks to whoever reads this.</p>
<p>sl9288, hang in there! It can get better! So sorry your roommate is not a good match, talk to housing again. Maybe you can change your situation after this semester. Try not to call/text home quite so much, it’ll make you more miserable. How big is your school? Are there lots of activities that go on during the weekend? You do need to find a club, religious group, a volunteer group, a campus job, any sort of activity to take part of so that you can form friendships outside of the dorm. Even though you are two months into the semester it’s not too late to get involved! Have you considered going through rush? Some campuses have spring rush, which is much lower key…check with the Panhellenic office about that. What did you like to do in HS for fun? Maybe you can find something similar to do on campus. Don’t give up so quickly! Many of us had a difficult time adjusting to life away from home, things will get better.</p>
<p>Not everyone is emotionally prepared for college. You may want to consider taking a gap year, staying at home or with a friend’s apartment, and working. Maybe the experience of being in the real world will teach you what a wonderful opportunity you’re squandering. The best things in life aren’t “fun”, but they will help make you a better, stronger, and more mature person. Suck it up and deal with your issues; it only gets harder from here on out, and no one’s going to hold your hand through it all.</p>
<p>OaksMom, I am looking into to finding a club I can join. I’m hoping that joining something will help. </p>
<p>Bedouin, I understand your point. I would like to point out that I am appreciative that I am able to attend a university. I know there are many out there who are not able to do so, so I do feel extremely fortunate for that. This is a new experience for me, and it is something I am trying to learn from. I apologize if I came across as unappreciative.</p>
<p>The big advantage of college over high school is that you WILL find someone who shares your interests, likes, opinions, etc. First and foremost - talk to your R.A. and housing about your room-mate. They will resolve this for you.
Second - as harsh as this sounds, stop calling your parents. While it is wonderful you have parents who support you, you need to resolve problems on your own.
Third - join a club, take a gym/dance class, volunteer, do anything to get involved and meet people. If you are lucky, you’ll meet someone who is also trying to switch roommates and you’ll be able to room up by the Spring semester. If your school has sports teams, go to the games and cheer like heck! Wear the school colors, help decorate the dorms for Halloween, go to the lectures/concerts/plays, whatever. And try something you’d never usually do - take a belly dancing class, learn to snowboard, go apple-picking. Read all of the posters around the Student Union, cafeterias, and Gym - they’ll have tons of postings. </p>
<p>And it does get easier. I went to a 41,000+ student city college in New York City that had only commuter students so everyone came and went (rushing to jobs, home, etc.) and it was almost impossible to meet anyone. I was a new arrival from Ireland from a school that had a mere 99 students in my graduating class! I knew no one and I was painfully shy, spoke with a “strange” accent, dressed differently, was asthmatic and totally unathletic and knew nothing of American sports and teams anyway, and was horrified at the perceived lack of manners and decorum in my fellow students (no one bragged about their sex lives in Europe or addressed people with nicknames - everyone automatically shortened my beautiful name (Catherine) to an ugly “Cathy” which to me was not friendliness but rudeness!). </p>
<p>What did I do? I joined the debate team to force myself to learn how to speak up! Almost 35 years later, I still have best friends from that team (who remind me of my first horrible attempts at public speaking!). And recently, I was asked to speak at a conference for Secretary Clinton (who gave me a standing ovation! Shy little me! If my 18-year-old self could have seen that coming, my first few weeks at college would have been so much easier).</p>
<p>Moral of story? A shy awkward kid with ugly braces and glasses and a funny accent, who was 3,000 miles from everything she knew, had her life changed by college - if I never tried to meet people by joining the debate team (the only “non-sports” team on campus!), I never would have met Secretary Clinton (among other leaders I’ve spoken in front of).</p>
<p>So reach out. You never know where life will take you but you’ll simply stay stuck in place if you don’t try. </p>
<p>And good luck to you!</p>
<p>WilpowerMom, thanks for such a great testimony. My heart aches for some of these kids who have having difficulty adjusting and finding their niche. Your story is such an inspiration!</p>