<p>One other thought: If the disorganization is the result of ADD, your child will need continued oversight, if not from you than possibly from a counselor at school and possibly in addition to medication. It is one thing for bright kids to excel while under their parents' roof but they can flounder when introduced to college life where there is no structure or supervision.</p>
<p>I'll bet there are a few hundred thousand 17-year-old boys out there whose parents are having the same thoughts as you and I are.</p>
<p>No, most of them mature at 17 or 18, but they aren't finished products at the end of high school (or even college for that matter). We send them far enough away that we can't see them make mistakes, 'cause it hurts to watch. What better place to make the transition than the semi-protected environment of college? </p>
<p>Having said that, he had better not blow his chance, not with me shelling out XX thousand dollars a year!</p>
<p>Just another Mom echoing the majority's opinion that it's normal for your son to be procrastinating on the applications. I frankly, don't know any boy that did their apps without parental nagging and that includes the Val in my son's class. And the good news is that the transition to college was much easier and more pleasant then anticipated. Somehow he was ready and is thriving. You will not believe the difference between this year and next.</p>
<p>This sounds just like my son who is now at Carnegie Mellon. He is still struggling with procrastination, oversleeping, homework, etc. I always say he's lucky he's got that brain - still managed a 3.0 first semester. Closeness to home would not have made any difference. In fact, we deliberately did not send him to the huge state university - CMU (at least the CS department) really keeps an eye on their students to make sure no one is lost or struggling. That's one advantage of a smaller school.</p>
<p>Now we're nagging him to come up with a plan on how he will stay on track - I'm starting to like the idea of a weekly calendar - maybe even on Google, where he seems to spend a lot of time.</p>
<p>So keep in mind that proximity alone may not be the most important factor in helping your bright son find his way.</p>
<p>Snowwhite - Don't worry. I bet he'll do fine. BELIEVE ME!</p>
<p>Am not saying this relates to your son in any way, but here's what a family in our school did last year--
Their son was waitlisted at his favorite school, and thrilled when he finally got accepted in the spring. He is a very bright kid, but lacking a bit in work ethic. Maybe it was "senioritis," but he ended up blowing off his studies to the point his parents decided the (very expensive) "dream school" wasn't worth the risk. He is now attending a good state school, and if he does well there and still wants to transfer in the future, he has the option. He may end up perfectly happy where he is -- haven't heard.</p>
<p>I agree with most of these posters. I started a thread in December about how my son's app process was driving me crazy. I finally realized that the "differently organized" way he was doing the apps was similar to how he does schoolwork and he's a very successful student, so this is working for him. There was added angst in the apps process because it's high-stakes and involves a lot of self-disclosure to strangers, not my son's favorite thing. But I backed off and he got it all done. If your son is successful in HS, there's no reason to fear he can't handle college, near or far.</p>
<p>Don't sell your child short. They will not be the same person in 6 months when they graduate HS as they are at this point in time, nor will they be the same as summer goes by and they get ready to go off to school. I guess it's sorta like dog years, they seem to grow and mature in leaps and bounds at this stage. I had very similar concerns with our first (as the line goes in the movie Parenthood, you let the next kid juggle knives) and he has done just fine (although I do remain amazed-lol).</p>
<p>
[quote]
We have left him alone through out his entire high school experience, we have always believed that it was important for him to be in charge of his work, not us.
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And he's done well, right?</p>
<p>I think in April when all the decisions are in, you should take a good look at his choices in terms of dominant campus culture and educational approach/philosophy. Also, think about his intended major and likely focus of courses, and his working style as it related to the way such courses are usually taught. I have a son who did mess up at college, but only in some courses -- he did poorly in some humanities courses where the grade rested largely on a major paper or project to be completed at the end of the semester, but he had A's in much tougher courses like language & science classes where he had regular assignments & homework do (lab reports, quizzes, etc.) throughout the semester. </p>
<p>Now my son is an excellent writer --but you can how the procrastination habit would mess him up, especially if he had several classes all requiring similar end-of-semester papers. Also -- his college did not really have a good required first year writing course; rather, it had a writing-through-the-curriculum approach. Now that my daughter is in college that did require all first year students to take a basic writing course, I can see very clearly the value of that class -- mostly in terms of getting the students accustomed to college-level writing expectations, but I think that it probably also helps somewhat with organizational skills when approaching a writing task. </p>
<p>I don't think distance is a factor at all. But it is worth taking a look at the campus environment he will be experiencing -- and make sure your son considers those issues in making his final choice. </p>
<p>Expense can be a huge factor, and it makes sense for you to have doubts. However, if I had it all to do over again, I'd probably still send my son off to the college where he messed up -- but this time around, I'd be more clear about my academic expectations of him and the terms of the "mommy-scholarship". Which is why more more-organized daughter is the one who gets the benefit of my experience, and the clear, unequivocal warning and has to give me direct access to her grades. I mean -- my son's mess-up was a very expensive lesson, but I don't blame him -- it was my continuation of the hands off attitude I had during high school that was the problem. </p>
<p>So before your son goes off to college, you need to make it clear that you expect him to keep up whatever GPA is needed to maintain his good standing in college and to keep any college scholarships have been awarded, and also that you expect completion of at least the minimum number for units required for full time students each semester -- AND that he needs to either report his grades to you or give you direct access to whatever system his college has for on-line reporting of grades. The consequences are simple: he messes up, he loses the money. </p>
<p>I think my own son benefited tremendously from gap time with gainful employment -- he is now back in school, paying his own way in-state, after 3 years in the work place. But I don't think the gap should be imposed by parents -- although it is something you might suggest. </p>
<p>I do agree with Bethievt's comment about being "differently organized". Your son may not really have the problem that you perceive -- his good grades in the past deserve recognition, and are an indication that he will probably continue along the same path. My suggestions are just geared to help plan for college -- because really the key to success is anticipating possible problems and planning for them in advance, rather than placing limits on your kid based on unrealized fears you may have.</p>
<p>I worry a lot. And unfortunately with reason. Was watching my 17 year old this past weekend with his younger brother's friends, and it occurred to me that he fit right in with the 13/14 year olds. Though I know he has another year to go, my guys have been late bloomers (still waiting). I just hope that going off to school will move his maturing process along. I have seen kids grow up a lot after that first term/year. </p>
<p>As for college apps, my kids were ready to tackle them after the holidays and the start of the new year. Both did their own sets after I had cajoled, nagged, begged, threatened to get some out before the first term ended senior year. It's like they are always a beat behind, but they did pick it up.</p>