Careful what you wish for. You don’t want your D to think you were rooting against her. Perhaps it is a reflex mechanism because even ED a small percentage will get into Huntsman. But you just never know…
I think this is what ED is really for. Student knows this is the school she wants with or without the FA. Student is willing to take on the debt. Mother is worried about the costs (as I would be) but student is prepared. I know it won’t be easy to be full pay, but borrowing $10k per year is not horrible. As long as the student understands how much the payments will be on that $40k and there is a plan, it is not crazy. If the student is accepted and the costs just are too much, the student can decline and take one of the other merit offers.
RE: having two kids in college and EFC…our EFC during that time was closer to 130% of the parental contribution for one kid. While the schools my kids attended had similar COAs, the parental contribution was NOT the same. It varied by about $3k. In addition, one of my kids’ schools gave us a much better FA package (when both were in college) than the other.
For anyone else considering ED (not just at Penn), the “financial aid package” can include parental loans. This is on top of whatever you may have to borrow to cover your family contribution. We had a couple of FA packages that consisted of parental PLUS loans and the student’s Stafford loans. Not helpful! OP, if you or your DH is self-employed, be aware that the FA calculations get more complicated and not generally to your benefit.
Neither of my kids wanted to apply ED, and I was thankful they felt that way. I didn’t want that battle. They did apply EA at some of their top choices and that worked out really well. Was nice to have a great acceptance or two in hand in December, and those schools were then the baseline for comparing other acceptances and FA packages. One of mine turned down a 100% of COA package, but he did so after a lot of thought and assessment of ALL THE OPTIONS.
The student can’t borrow that $10,000 a year all by herself. But if the parents are sure they will cosign the remaining loan amount for all four years…fine.
If the student gets a job…now…and plans to work while in school, those loan amounts could be less.
I am a long-time lurker and finally had to speak up. 1.) ED benefits universities only, allowing them to fill their rolls with little effort or cost. It preys on people’s insecurities by asking them to pit their financial health against the love of their children. Let’s not forget that universities are still businesses; what other business ask you to play this game of Chicken? 2.) Top schools are not necessarily better than so-called second tier schools, thus the screen name. As universities go, it’s all the same stuff - same dorms, same large classes at intro level, same undergrad/grad TAs, same food, etc. The only difference is the prestige of the diploma at the end, kind of like a fashion accessory. We gullibly swallowed the big lie by sending first kid to vanity school. No money, huge intro classes, no ability to study abroad without making up requirements by staying an extra semester, undergrad TA’s, shut out of housing junior year, extra fee for fitness center, extra fee for bus service, under staffed health center. Bottom line, OP’s daughter’s life will not be ruined if she doesn’t go to Penn; she’ll survive the disappointment.
I think ED can benefit some students but mostly those who are going to be full pay no matter what. It loses a lot of its advantages when families need the opportunity to carefully compare the costs of attending different schools.
@anticornellmom makes a very important point here about how crucial it is to research schools very, very carefully before choosing one for an ED application. My daughter went to Cornell (after applying ED), and she has no regrets, but if it had been important to her to live on campus for all four years, Cornell would definitely have been the wrong choice for her since the university only guarantees on-campus housing for two years.
Actually the housing point is a non-issue there, since living off-campus is better in nearly every conceivable way.
By the time you’re an upperclassman few people of my acquaintance actually wanted to live on campus.
My son went to a different school where the option of living in the dorms was available for all four years, and AFAIK all of his friends there, who had the choice, opted to live off-campus as upperclassmen.
She was deferred. She’s pretty upset about it, because her odds of going just dropped significantly - from learning from the letter that only 14% of deferred students were accepted regular decision and from the unspoken knowing that I am pushing her towards options that would allow her to graduate debt free. (Since I first posted, she’s had one more acceptance that came with merit aid, but she won’t know whether she’s been accepted to the Honors College there for months and we are in agreement that it’s Honors College or nothing there.)
Before the decision came through, I reminded her that I got rejected from my first choice college and waitlisted by my second. And while I did get off the waitlist very quickly, the offer came with NO money and I was forced to continue down my list and had to decide between local state U and the further away U that I’d applied to only because my parents made me. I ended up at the latter and have never regretted that decision.
She’ll cry in her room tonight and tomorrow she’ll have to pick herself up and move on. I imagine Monday will be difficult at school since everyone knew she was applying, and a lot of them really think she’s Ivy material (she has no plans to apply to other Ivies).
@SuburbMom give your D a big hug. She will land in a great spot. I know she’s upset now. Thinking of your family.
I think she’s in a much better place than many ED’s who are receiving ‘no’ or ‘deferred’ letters today - she has an acceptance with a big offer in her pocket. I hope that lessens the blow knowing that she IS going to college.
I know several kids who did end up going to the first school that sent them the love ($$$) even though they weren’t in first place when the apps were sent in. It is nice to be wanted.
@SuburbMom
I feel for your D. It’s hard to get that news. If I recall she applied for Huntsman? If it’s any consolation, that program is more difficult to get into than just applying straight up to Penn. Very competitive, amplified by the fact that they fill a large portion of that program with International kids. So it’s a reach even for the most qualified.
Sorry, SuburbMom – it’s hard to see your child so disappointed. But twoinanddone is right in post #89 – your daughter is likely in a better place than many of her peers. It’s not Xmas yet, and she has acceptances in hand and more acceptances to come, in all probability.
Once she realizes that, she will cheer up. Especially as more and more of her friends will be reporting deferrals and rejections in the months to come.
Meantime, I would suggest you bake your daughter’s favorite treats and tell her it’s OK to indulge. Best to both of you 
Sorry your D is disappointed. In a way it is good that you kept the ED decision in place because now, whatever happens, she knows she gave her top choice school her best shot. We had the same thing where my S was deferred from his top choice EA. Funny thing was that we were prepared for acceptance or rejection but not a deferral (naive on our part I know). Fortunately like your D he had a couple of acceptances in hand which helped. He was sad for a bit , but I made his favorite dinner, the whole family went out for ice cream and by the next day things came back into focus and he remembered that there were a number of schools he could be happy at and do well at. By the weekend he was submitting more applications (we had them largely ready to go).
Good luck moving forward.
None of these things was true of Dartmouth.
Research is key, obviously, because no, all schools are NOT alike.
@SuburbMom , I’m sorry about your D’s deferral–and from what you said earlier I gather this means she was also deferred from “regular” Penn?–but glad that she already has an acceptance in hand. That will help.
Managing other people’s expectations can be difficult. My S was deferred from ED at his first choice school, and by Monday morning it was all over the school and people were commiserating with him because they all naively assumed he would get in. Another classmate was accepted. He never knew for certain who told people about his result. But he did eventually get into other top choices, so it was okay in the end.
“Top schools are not necessarily better than so-called second tier schools, thus the screen name. As universities go, it’s all the same stuff - same dorms, same large classes at intro level, same undergrad/grad TAs, same food, etc. The only difference is the prestige of the diploma at the end, kind of like a fashion accessory. We gullibly swallowed the big lie by sending first kid to vanity school. No money, huge intro classes, no ability to study abroad without making up requirements by staying an extra semester, undergrad TA’s, shut out of housing junior year, extra fee for fitness center, extra fee for bus service, under staffed health center.”
The problem is that you are using Cornell as your reference point. Cornell is not a school known for a great undergrad experiience, is very large for a private school and probably has more in common with Penn State than Dartmouth, Yale or Brown.
I don’t think the OP’s daughter’s life would be ruined by not attending Penn. That said not all schools are the same. I took some large classes (which I thoroughly enjoyed), had some sections taught by TAs who were fabulous, had some seminars every year that were fabulous, was in a tiny major where everyone knew my name and thoroughly enjoyed a robust residential college system.
My older son was deferred and rejected from two of his top choices in the EA round. He’d already heard from a safety and when spring rolled around he got some more nice acceptances. He’s in his dream job now. I’m confident the OP’s daughter will land on her feet too and make the best of the opportunities of whatever college she ends up at.
I’m sorry your D is disappointed but you must be feeling a tad relieved (I was at the time) that a huge financial burden was lifted. It is a true gift to be able to graduate with little or no debt.
My son was wait listed at his first choice school but gained admission to the state school in the honor’s college.
I don’t think he could ever be happier than where he is now. Blessings in disguise.
Most students I know from Cornell loved their 4 years there. Other than first year introductory courses, my kids had fairly small classes, especially once they got into advance courses.
Cornell has 13K UG students and Penn State has 40K at University Park, not sure where is the similarity. U Penn has 10K UG students. Maybe you got U Penn and Penn State mixed up. Northwestern also has 8K UG and 20K total students.
^ I meant Penn State.
@Postmodern : Princeton does not have an ED program, only an EA program. If this has already been mentioned in the thread before this point, forgive. I am still reading through it all.