<p>I'm a freshman at college. I've been here for almost 2 weeks, and I'm kind of struggling to make friends. I was hoping someone here could help. I've never been the most popular guy in high school or anything but I've always had enough friends for me to be happy, and I feel like thats not really going to happen here.</p>
<p>Its only been 2 weeks, and I normally wouldn't be worried, but it seems like everyone has already formed clicks and groups. I'm a super shy person so I wasn't really throwing myself out there on day one, but I didn't expect people to already have good friends and have groups after only a week and a half.</p>
<p>I have a small group of about 4 or 5 friends who are great, but I feel like I can't get into any of the already formed groups. I'm really shy so its hard for me to just force my way into groups or just go hang out with them. Its really awkward when I try because they all know eachother pretty well and I'm just kind of there, they're thinking "whos this guy following us around". That pretty much sums up my whole problem here, everyone is in groups so how do I get in, if I hang out with people I'm just the awkward shy kid whos following them around, and that doesn't get me anywhere. </p>
<p>I feel like there was a friend making deadline 2 days after everyone got here and that now its just over. Nobody really starts conversations anymore because they're all satisfied with their clicks/groups, and I'm way too shy to start them myself. I wish I had a roommate who wasn't shy who could help me meet new people but my roommate and I aren't even really friends. We haven't really hung out at all we're just kind of... roommates.</p>
<p>Does anyone have any tips? It's really starting to wear on me and I'm feeling kind of discouraged. I hope stuff just gets better over time and I know its early in the year but I feel stuck... My dorm room door is open and doesnt stay open and I feel like if I prop it open with something that makes me look like of desperate, plus as I said its already kind of past the open dorm room phase, nobody cares because they all are satisfied. I want to get out of my dorm room more but there aren't that many clubs on campus. Theres sports clubs and a few others but I suck at sports.</p>
<p>I think that even though lots of people made friends during the first two weeks, there is still ample time to do that.</p>
<p>Can you join one of the official groups or clubs that exist?
Can you ask somebody to go to eat a meal after a class?
Can you meet people in the gym - maybe attend a group class?
Can you do activities pertaining to your major and meet people with similar interests?
Can you watch TV in a common room - maybe root for a football team?
If you have a TV, put the NFL game on, make some food and prop your door open.
If most of your dorm mates are out partying and you are alone, why not walk along your hall and see who else is staying in?
If you are in a major that does group projects, socialize with somebody from there.</p>
<p>Don’t be discouraged. It just takes some people a little longer. And what about your 4 or 5 good friends? Sometimes people who seem to be in a “group” don’t have even one true friend, so you are lucky! Maybe you should nurture your friendships with those 4 or 5 people and then you will gradually get to be friends with their friends, and before you know it you will have several groups of friends!</p>
<p>You’re so going to get a post from tiff90 with “OMG! Another one of these threads?!? Use the archive button! ZOMFG!!!”</p>
<p>Anyway, I’m in the same boat. Just don’t focus on making friends; focus on the experience. Through your experience you should find friends. So don’t just join a random group because you want; join a group you’re truly interested in and hopefully you’ll make friends that way. GL.</p>
<p>Totally in the same boat as you. It’s been my 4th week of class, and I still don’t really have any friends. I mean, I have okay acquaintances but no one has really “clicked” with me. It was really hard for me the first week, but now I’m kind of just getting used to everything It would still be nice to have some friends, though. I’m envious of the people who are already in groups. I suppose it’s just going to take more time for us “shy” folks, but hopefully everything will work out :)</p>
<p>personally, I find that getting good sleep and having a clear head helps a lot in being social and spontaneous. This year, it’s been like that for me. But today, I didn’t sleep well, and I’ve been stuck on a homework literally all day, so I’m not really in the mood to joke around or talk about the weather.</p>
<p>First, remember that social matters are ancillary to studies. The latter, not the former, is why you are at school.</p>
<p>Second, from my experience, friendship emerges more as a spontaneous order than something engineered, therefore one expects it to come naturally. Do as one normally does, and either initiate conversation or reply if any is initiated. I prefer just to reply and let others initiate due to my reserved nature, but you may prefer to do the opposite.</p>
<p>Within the first few months of college, people make acquaintances, not friends. They barely know each other. They cling to each other out of loneliness even if they don’t really like each other.</p>
<p>To make real friends, get involved in organizations and activities that interest you.You’ll meet people with interests in common with you. Also, most campus organizations are recruiting now and welcome freshmen.</p>
<p>Patience. As Northstarmom said - these early groups that form tend to not stand the test of time. It’s usually kids with good conversational / social skills that connect early but eventually fall away once they find people with whom they share true interests. For quieter folks like yourself, it may take longer - but it will happen. I’m guessing the best friends that you had in HS sort of developed organically and it wasn’t because you set out to make friends with them.</p>
<p>But it’s tough - if it’s any consolation, I’ll bet there are about 100,000 college kids who are feeling the same thing right now.</p>
<p>I’ll say it again and again: “To be appreciated, you must first be noticed. To be noticed, you must first be seen.” It means: get out there. Whether it’s the library (obviously, not hiding in the stacks; pick a popular spot) or going to some performance, campus lecture or sporting thing, exploring a club, hanging out in some study spot, or sitting in the same common room where kids are watching a sports game, etc, etc. Show up in a series of places regularly, routinely. Get out there, be seen. Eventually, they take notice. For some inexplicable reason, after a while, they think you’re part of their orbit and things start to click. The interesting thing about this is you can still be shy. Just don’t dissuade notice or contact by 100% hiding behind a book.</p>
<p>I was in your same situation and it took me half the year before I found my first best friend and then towards the end of the year I found a bunch. Sometimes, it just takes some time, but keep being open.</p>