<p>Kiddos went to all kinds of schools, large in-state publics, OOS publics, LACs, ivys, and academies.</p>
<p>Of all of these son’s experience at his ivy, smaller, I think 96% live on campus all 4 years…residential colleges…they did hand hold. Not just the RAs but the Masters, the advisors, the mentors, the preceptors, and all his fellow students. When one of his hallmates (all had singles) broke her ankle and was on crutches in a cast with NO elevator to the 4th floor they volunatrily made up a schedule of who was available to carry her up the 4 flights everyday, several times a day. </p>
<p>They had they golf cart to get her around campus and son was designated driver and one of the designated "carriers’. Granted as a football player he had the size to do so but he would get texted in the middle of class or lab, run across campus run with her up 4 flights and run back to class. This lasted for months til she could walk again.</p>
<p>They had each others schedules posted in their rooms so they knew if someone over slept. They joined together to get better rooms for housing lottery. And it was this way during all 4 years. As an alum when he was traveling all over the country for med school interviews he always had an alum waiting for him at the airport and with a place to stay.</p>
<p>Made a huge difference in his med school interview/application process. Saved thousands $$. So now 3 years after graduation he still sees his buddies from there MONTHLY and he lives 5 states away. He has been best man at their wedding, helped each other move into new apts and help locate jobs for each other. They go to the same law schools, i-banking jobs and most are all still roommates in some shape or form. This is at least 25+ people. Unbelievable!!</p>
<p>The only other situation I have seen this level of loyalty and commitment was from other son’s time at the academy. They are truly dedicated to each for those 4 years and then for the rest of their service. The level of dedication and stewardship to each other is something to be treasured.</p>
<p>I think if one is honest about their child and their needs and AWARE of what can trigger a more “toxic” outcome that would be a start. When looking for fit my boys knew better than I would what they would both truly value and how much they “needed” to be a part of something that was bigger than themselves.</p>
<p>Wow, Kat, would you be willing to say here or PM me what school that was? That sounds like an exceptional level of camaraderie, but could but just what some kids need or want!</p>
<p>This is a little off subject, but I remember reading, many years ago, about the papers college kids should sign so that the parent has access to the information (health etc).
Do you guys have any idea what I am talking about? Since legally they are adults, apparently many colleges will not even provide you with the info , even if there is a problem…</p>
<p>You’re referring to FERPA. The student has to sign authorization for the college to share academic, disciplinary, and financial information with anyone else, including parents.</p>
<p>But even if a student signs a FERPA release, that still does not mean that college professors and advisors must tell parents of the student’s affairs or act in loco parentis. For example, I am not going to agree to call the parents if a student does not show up for my class, even if they ask me to. It’s my belief that a student who requires that level of oversight does not belong in college.</p>
<p>There are different forms for medical and school information. </p>
<p>Medical is HIPAA, educational is FERPA.</p>
<p>Even though the student is an adult, if they are a dependent for tax purposes, the school can legally share information with the parent if they believe it is in the student’s best interest. </p>
<p>Most colleges will tell you right off that they won’t tell you your child’s grades, etc. even if you are paying the bills. Colleges differ on whether they will inform parents if the student is placed on academic probation or is otherwise in danger of not being able to continue their studies. </p>
<p>One of my questions for schools is “under what circumstances, if any, would the school contact parents?”</p>
<p>^^^ sure, a student trying to fly under the radar can probably find a way. I’m more concerned about a student who isn’t functioning, rather than one who is sending his clicker to class with a friend.</p>