<p>How many of you have or how many of you are helicopter parents.</p>
<p>Where is the line drawn between a parent merely advising and giving direction to their progeny versus overly managing their child's life - especially making phone calls for them and conducting business. </p>
<p>I am the youngest of 4 so my parents are over micro managing my move to college, etc. I get a plane ticket, a hug and wave at the airport and Florida here I come.</p>
<p>I feel sorry for those whose parents try to intermeddle and intervene in most every transaction attempting to always get the best possible result for their child. </p>
<p>The Wall Street Journal, as well as other publications, have had articles about hovering parents via cell phones. Apparently, helicopter parents are a big problem for university administrators in that they are bombarded with calls from hyper vigilant parents. Some students when told no by an administrator, dial a parent and hand the phone to the administrator.</p>
<p>It seems that helicopter parents in their zeal to protect their progeny forget that we are old enough to engage in hand to hand combat and stab someone in the heart - or be stabbed ourselves - all in the name of our country.</p>
<p>My parents told me they think I am better off (I think their attitude was a little different with my older siblings) if I dive in, make mistakes, and learn by trying or doing rather than being sheltered or overprotected.</p>
<p>So any suggestions as to where some one would draw the line in defining a "Helicopter Parent."</p>
<p>Lol at first i thought the thread title meant this would be about students whose parents where helicopter pilots.</p>
<p>personally, i would not call more than once a day, and only during the afternoon so your kids can, well, get a good night’s rest and a “calm” <em>cough</em> night</p>
<p>gpowsang</p>
<p>Apparently helicopter parenting has gotten so bad that administrators at some colleges have banned telephone calls from parents and refuse to discuss matters with parents.</p>
<p>I have a friend at Colgate (recently rated prettiest campus by, I think, Princeton Review) who said that his mom cannot call the housing office, the registrar, professors, or anybody. Colgate’s position is that the student is their customer and that’s who they are going to deal with - period. No parent intermeddling at all.</p>
<p>I suppose that a public school like UF could not get away with that. Parents would be inundating the Governor’s Office with phone calls.</p>
<p>Some of my older sister’s and brother’s friends parents were pretty nutty about intermeddling. But I bet the intermeddling would stop at having to aim the M-16 and pull the trigger, or actually going out and getting shot at in Iraq or Afganistan. But maybe that would be good for them - they might realize that their progeny was no helpless baby after all. </p>
<p>I read someplace that the average age of the personnel of an aircraft carrier is 19.6 years old. That’s some irony - the same parents who depend on kids our age to defend our country and protect our natural security don’t trust their kids to make mundane telephone calls to the housing office or to others in preparing to apply and making all the necessary arrangements for college.</p>
<p>Does that meant that the parents are obsessively neurotically hyper vigilant
or does it mean that our national security is dependent upon a bunch of knuckleheads that are incapable of making their own housing arrangements - much less aim and hit someone.</p>
<p>Are you ready to step down from your soapbox?</p>
<p>^
Are you ready to stop belittling others for attention?</p>
<p>Sorry - my mother works for and has worked for a pretty well known university for years. She and her colleagues HATE - HATE helicopter parents. I mean they really despise helicopter parents. All college administrators and professors do (they won’t admit it). THEY HATE 'EM. I’ve heard hilarious stories about them for years.</p>
<p>The funny thing is that the typical helicopter parent thinks they are superior and can bully a college administrator or professor because they work for a non profit entity. They got that wrong.</p>
<p>College administrators - because of these problems - are some of the best trained in the world in handling bulling problems by overly protective parents. They have organizations, e.g. ACUHO for housing, that meet at least once a year for a week or so and train them how to deal with various personalities like helicopter parents. They learn how to disarm with manners and niceness and ‘almost promises’ - they make the parent feel top of the world while nothing is going to happen. For the most part - because the parent is asking the impossible and also because the parent *<strong><em>es them off so much in their manner the administrator is not going to do anything to help them if their life depended on it. But the silly parent doesn’t understand this - and underestimates the administrator as a dumb non profit employee - as the administrator lulls them into complacency with niceness. As the parent continues their tactic, the administrator is just getting more *</em></strong>ed - despite their outward trained calm - and is figuring out how to really screw them.</p>
<p>That’s the college administrators’ favorite pastime - talking about a-hole parents and how they totally screwed them over with a smile and niceness and the parents didn’t even realize it. Believe me, some of them are good - way good. They are so good that the parent didn’t even get close to what they wanted - even the opposite - but the administrator got them to think they were lucky to get what they did and the parent thanks them. </p>
<p>Think about it - if you had to deal with sometimes thousands of a-hole anal hyper vigilant parents - it would drive you crazy. What about a college housing director - is that a thankless job which would cause one to be besieged by hyper vigilant parents? The universities figured out the only way to keep employees is to train them how to deal with a-holes.</p>
<p>And that develops real skill - ever try dealing with a bunch of bullying New Yorkers? If you do it day and day out and are regularly trained in doing so - well, you get pretty good at it. Big egoed attorneys calling etc. - they are no match and are likely to end the discourse with a lot less than what they were trying to get and don’t even realize it. The administrators just laugh at them. They know how to handle them and are good at it.</p>
<p>As far as the results of helicopter parenting - I’ve watched some of my sister’s friends. Some are a bunch of helpless nitwits. Any problem and they call a parent and the parent is on the phone trying to bully someone. Some of my sister’s friends are totally helpless. What’s sad is that despite the parents’ good intentions, it just produces a helpless idiot of a person incapable of handling the most rudimentary problem in society.</p>
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<p>Attention? I could care less. How am I aspiring for attention? Enlighten me with your infinite knowledge, Intangible Gator. </p>
<p>Oh, and by the way, pick up a dictionary; I wasn’t belittling the OP. Haven’t you ever heard someone use the soapbox expression? Anyone with half a brain would understand that I’m questioning why the OP is crafting these lengthy, argumentative posts with no one else contributing anything.</p>
<p>You know, IntangibleGator, I’ve noticed that you have a very arrogant and hostile attitude with your posts. Try taking things in stride.</p>
<p>i dont understand what this thread is. its srs biz copypasta. OP’s having a conversation with himself about something thats kind of silly, and somehow making it lengthy.</p>
<p>honestly, i’m impressed.</p>
<p>My parents are not helicopter parents. Ive seen them cuss out enough customer service people at stores, banks, airports, post offices, car dealerships,etc. to pick up the tricks of the trade and can handle 100% of my issues myself.</p>
<p>I think helicopter parents are doing more harm then good for their kids and am confused even by heli parents who post here. I mean, why not tell your child to make his/her own account and post their concerns themselves? Isnt your purpose to enhance your child’s success so that they can be independent? Why not start teaching them now?</p>
<p>Nonetheless I dont think its wrong or extremely problematic to an extent because most of the time its just them telling their kids what to do or the people at their high school what to do, which is in the parents’ right. The line is drawn at speaking with their kids’ college people and their kid’s employer. Why? Because after high school childhood is over and your univ doesn’t care who is paying, if you arent the one enrolled you cant complain.</p>
<p>My mom and her collegeues seem to think the really troublesome helicopter parents are not those that are harsh with their language or cuss them out but the ones that are under some type of delusion that they are going to charm them.</p>
<p>They find out the name, and then use the name at the beginning and end of each sentence. And they are full of friendly chit chat and talk slow - like my mom and co. don’t have any thing to do. They say they are biggest time wasters. After a few minutes of listening to their so-called charm - they are figuring out ways to sabotage whatever the helicopter parent is trying to do. So the helicopter parent by virtue of their hyper vilance ends up in worse shape and has no clue that their so-called “charm” works against them.</p>
<p>Again, my mom, etc. takes it as an insult that the parents can call up, waster her time, and think they can charm her.</p>
<p>UF is very strict now about letting parents call regarding their children’s records, etc. My mother tried calling the registrar about some financial aid problems we were having, and they refused to divulge any information to anyone but myself. I, for one, think this is wonderful.</p>
<p>My mom knows some UF administrators pretty well through all the organization conferences, etc. over the last 25 years or so. </p>
<p>She’s heard stories about bizarre antics of UF parents. Apparently, the New York/South Florida “needy” “pushy” “selfish” types have the reputation for being some of the worse to deal with in the country. She said she would slit her wrist before having to deal with large numbers of them.</p>
<p>Apparently, they have no consideration for the administrators. They just try to get every thing they can out of them including trying to get the administrators to give the parents all sorts of extra attention. The problem with that is that the administrators have to deal with thousands of parents - and if they had to give each parent the same amount of attention the helicopter parents require - they wouldn’t come close to getting their work done.</p>
<p>When the cell phone barrage first began from parents years ago, she said all she had time to do in the office was answer call after call. She said she would work at home until midnight getting all of her work done. That’s why the administrators get peeved - the helicopter parents won’t let them get their work done. And it’s not just about asking for special favors - it’s unnecessary calls that the helicopter parent wouldn’t make except that their cell phone is handy.</p>
<p>But like I said above - there are piqued administrators out there that - though cheerful and friendly - that can and do really mess up someone’s college experience. I’ve heard stories how they arranged everything to go wrong for a student in response to an a-hole parent to the extent of the student ultimately dropping out of the college with forfeited tuition, deposits, etc. </p>
<p>My mom said that when cell phone first became popular they were barraged by calls from parents. She says that in “the old days” they very seldom talked with a parent - always with students; now she says they very seldom speak with a student - almost always a parent.</p>
<p>My father - a West Point graduate who did three tours in Viet Nam - says we are producing a generation of dependent nitwits who know how to do everything on a computer but can’t solve the simplest problem with interpersonal communications. They haven’t had to - their parents do all the talking.</p>
<p>So I think if you making calls for your student including making business arrangements - then I’d say you are a helicopter parent. And good luck with how your child can handle the practical realities of the real world later in life.</p>