<p>Dear Committee, </p>
<p>I am writing this letter to appeal my academic dismissal from ********. I was not surprised, but disappointed to receive an email stating that I am now dismissed; however I urge you for a second chance to redeem myself. This past year, I have had a very difficult time keeping my grades up for various reasons. I know that there should not be any reasons for why my grades were low, but I would like to explain the circumstances that had led to this. </p>
<p>When I received a letter stating my admissions to *******, I was more than happy because it was a dream to attend and eventually graduate from a wonderful school; all the hard work in high school was finally paid off. I was exposed to a major culture change because I come from a small town of only 2,000 people. Attending college was such mind blowing; I had freedom and can do whatever I wanted to do.
I never thought that registering for 15 credit hours would require a lot of me, but I wanted to earn the hours so I can complete my generals and graduate on time. I thought I could handle the work, but due to falling into the social life, I was not able to handle the 15 credits. I would spend more time hanging out with friends. I stayed up late at night cramming for exams the next day and was usually very tired in the morning. Needless to say, falling into the social life, I had a hard time balancing study time and hanging out with friends. By the time I know, I was doing poorly in my academics and was placed on academic probation. I have thought about what have went wrong and what I should have done to improve my grades; I should have asked for help when I needed it. I should have reached out to my professors and advisors but I was too shy. Due to my poor grades, I was afraid of what my advisor and professors will think of me. I could have said no to hanging out with friends and spend more time studying, but instead I went out to discover myself and eventually I lacked the motivation towards my academics.</p>
<p>I was determined to raise my grades up in the spring semester. I was doing better in my classes by spending less time hanging out with friends and more time on my studies. I would join people and form study groups with them. I was still struggling to get my grades up, and so I asked my professors for help and to discuss about my grades. I was not sure why or how I am still having trouble. I met up with my advisor to discuss about my grades and the possible reasons of why I was still struggling. The possible reasons of my struggles could have been because I was still using high school methods and/or the 15 credits I was taking spring semester. I was taking a 5 credit biology course class, retaking my 4 credit psychology course from last semester, and two other 3 credit courses. I should have taken less than 15 credit hours to raise my GPA up and possibly discuss with my advisor beforehand about taking lighter course classes. I was determined and thought I could pass 15 credits, but I was wrong. </p>
<p>****** was the best choice I have made, and it would mean a lot to me to graduate with a degree from this college. If I am reinstated, I would want to seek out as much help as I can get. I am willing to attend workshops that will help me with study habits and ways to do better in classes. I will limit my credit hours and use an academic planner or calendar to keep me on track/organize. I want to repeat classes that I did not do so well to raise my GPA up. I’ve learned that if you need help, you have to make an effort to reach out to others. Please understand that my low GPA does not mean that I am a bad student but instead I am just a student trying to learn and discover herself in college. I hope you will give me another chance.</p>
<p>Sincerely, </p>
<hr>
<p>I think you need to go into more detail on (1) why you failed in the past, and (2) why you will succeed in the future. It sounds like you’re not really sure about what’s causing you to do poorly. There’s not really a good reason stated in this letter for the committee to readmit you.</p>
<p>I agree with PiperXP. Also, there’s a few spots where you change tenses, like </p>
<p>“I was exposed to a major culture change because I come from a small town of only 2,000 people. Attending college was such mind blowing; I HAD freedom and CAN do whatever I wanted to do.”</p>
<p>That ought to be ‘had’ and ‘could’.</p>
<p>“By the time I KNOW, I was doing poorly in my academics and was placed on academic probation.”</p>
<p>‘knew’</p>
<p>“I was afraid of what my advisor and professors WILL think of me.”</p>
<p>‘would’</p>
<p>There are a quite a few instances of this that you may want to edit. </p>
<p>It seems like you really care about attending your school, and it’s great that you are putting in the effort to appeal! 
</p>
<p>I find that this is too wordy. Based on what you wrote, you do not have any unusual reasons (such as a death in the family, mental illness, etc) that require a detailed lengthy explanation of your past issues. Basically, the first half can be sum up by saying that you realize that you have poor study habits and time management skills. Not unusually for Freshmen. The next part should focus on how you expect to fix those issues. You need to clearly explain why next semester will be different.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, I am a lousy writer. I have seen similar posts on the financial aid board where posters were able to make better suggestions. Usually the advice is to keep it short and focus on what your action plan is. </p>
<p>Do you guys think this editing is stronger? Or does it still need more details? Thank you! :)</p>
<p>Dear Committee,</p>
<p>I am writing this letter to appeal my academic dismissal from *****<strong><em>. I was not surprised, but disappointed to receive an email stating that I am now dismissed; however I urge you for a second chance to redeem myself. This past year, I have had a very difficult time keeping my grades up for various reasons. I know that there should not be any reasons for why my grades were low, but I would like to explain the circumstances that had led to this.
When I received a letter stating my admissions to </em></strong><strong><em>, I was more than happy because it was a dream to attend and eventually graduate from a wonderful school; all the hard work in high school was finally paid off. I was exposed to a major culture change because I come from a small town of only 2,000 people. Attending college was such mind blowing; I had freedom and could do whatever I wanted to do.
I never thought that registering for 15 credit hours would require a lot of me, but I wanted to earn the hours so I can complete my generals and eventually graduate on time. I thought I could handle the work, but I was wrong. It was difficult balancing study time and hanging out with friends; needless to say, my time management skills were poor. I would spend more time socializing and stay up late at night cramming for exams the next day. I have bad study habits that contributed to my academics. By the time I knew, I was doing poorly in my academics and was placed on academic probation. I was determined to raise my grades up in the spring semester. I was doing better in my classes by spending less time hanging out with friends and more time on my studies. I would join people and form study groups with them. I think I could have done better with my academics except that my father became very ill and was rushed to the emergency in March. While my father was ill, my mother had to quit her job to care of my father. Being the first in the family to go to college was very stressful. While trying to do better in school, I was very distracted with the home situation and unable to focus on schoolwork. Fortunately my father is recovering; he is back home and goes to his checkups every other day now. I should have asked for help when I needed it. I should have reached out to my professors and advisors but I was too shy. Due to my poor grades, I was afraid of what my advisor and professors would think of me. I could have said no to hanging out with friends and spend more time studying, but instead I went out to discover myself and eventually I lacked the motivation towards my academics. I should have taken less than 15 credit hours to raise my GPA up and possibly discuss with my advisor beforehand about taking lighter course classes.
</em></strong> was the best choice I have made, and it would mean a lot to me to graduate with a degree from this college. If I am reinstated, I would want to seek out as much help as I can get. I am willing to attend workshops that will help me improve my study habits. I will limit my credit hours. I want to repeat classes that I did not do so well to raise my GPA up. If another family crisis was to arise, I am going to use my resources such as my advisor and professors to talk to if I need help. I will focus much better on my schoolwork because I will already know what to do and how to deal with the problem. I will manage my time more wisely by using an academic planner or calender to keep me on track/ organize.
Please understand that my low GPA does not mean that I am a bad student but instead I am just a student who have had one very bad year, and someone who wants to learn and discover herself in college. I hope you will give me another chance. Thank you.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<hr>
<p>I think the letter is a little disorganized. Here’s one type of outline you can use:</p>
<ul>
<li>A single paragraph (not two) about wanting to attend the college</li>
<li>Paragraph on first semester: You took on too much (15 units) and socialized too much because you didn’t realize college would be this difficult. (What “socializing with friends” is vague. Were you staying up late just chatting? Were you in too many clubs?)</li>
<li>Paragraph on second semester: Your recognized the issue and started making steps for improvement, but then your father’s issues happened</li>
<li>A paragraph on why, if you come back, things will be better. How many units will you take? How will you balance your load? Vow to attend every class, every office hour, etc. (And, if you get back in, follow through.)</li>
</ul>
<p>If I have misread anything about your essay, please correct it – I don’t want to put words in your mouth, I’m just trying to organize what I think you said.</p>
<p>You need to be as specific as possible in this letter. I understand that this is painful to think about*, but the committee needs to know specifically why you failed and why it won’t happen again. </p>
<p>(* I understand this first hand, in fact. My father nearly died freshman year (amongst other issues I had), I took a year off, and I had to write a very similar letter. I got back in, and I graduated a year ago.)</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your help! Do you think I would need to provide any documents for my father’s illness? And if so, what kind of documents would I need?</p>