Help!! 1st draft ... need help, especially on the ending

<p>Hi. This is my first post here on CC. I was looking to see if anyone could read my extracurricular common app response. It's only 166 words (it's supposed to be =<150). Could anyone read it ... please? thanks in advance! :)</p>

<p>..and no 2009's if possible please! Preferably people going into college or older.</p>

<p>I will read it and offer help, but will honestly tell you that I am c/o 2009. You can look at my high post # and other threads to see if i am going to the same school as yours, and I really have already finished my EC common app essay. (you can see through my other threads) I would not be looking to steal any ideas and notice that nobody has offered assistance yet. </p>

<p>However I know this is a big deal and if you are uncomfortable then you do obviously not need to send it to me. If you are ok with it, go ahead and PM it over!</p>

<p>Anyway, hope you have success getting more responses and good luck with your college endeavors! If nothing else, this can serve as a bump for you!</p>

<p>good message and writing but needs polishing. was an interesting read. Hopefully others will offer help and you can focus in on the weaknesses more efficiently!</p>

<p>anybody else willing to help out? It's only 165 words. That's only like 45 seconds of reading .. maybe even less!</p>

<p>I'm 09 as well, but unless your essay is about founding a Young Democrats and a Teenage Republicans club at your school, you don't have to worry about me stealing anything =P</p>

<p>pm it over</p>

<p>I'll take a look if you'd like</p>

<p>I'll read it, so you can PM it to me, but I'll tell you up front that I'm also an 09.</p>

<p>I'll read it...pm.</p>

<p>I am an 09 tho.</p>