Anytime one approaches a teacher for a recommendation, one should ask, “Do you feel that you can write me a strong letter of recommendation?” This gives the teacher the option of responding that you might do better asking elsewhere. You can be sure that no teacher who responds that they’d be happy to write you a letter will write anything about that group chat incident.
Honestly, from what you described, yes, the best thing would have been to have gone to the teacher immediately and notified them that the exam had been leaked. But I can totally understand the can of worms that would have been opened had you done that, involving having to inform on who posted it. I can understand you’re having just tried to distance yourself from the whole thing by simply deleting the chat. I’m glad to hear that it won’t go on your transcript. As long as your counselor and recommendation writers don’t mention it, and I don’t see why they would, all should be okay for you.
I’m guessing snobbypancake is not coming back given the, at least, slight inconsistencies in the story and the piling on (including by me) resulting therefrom.
This whole story has not smelled entirely ok to me, but whatever. I think the OP was looking for some kind of absolution, most certainly didn’t find that here, and has moved on.
Parentologists post should be required reading for everyone.
I’ve had people who work for me ask for recommendations for grad school- which I am generally happy to do. Especially since some MBA programs specifically require that a direct supervisor writes one of the recommendations. But an employee who is on a 30/60/90 plan (the performance improvements which need to take place in that timeframe)-- really? I told you two weeks ago that you need to prepare for team meetings so you don’t stammer “I don’t remember what I was supposed to do on that project”, told you last week that I was happy to help you review your calendar to make sure you were focusing on your A priorities instead of getting sucked into planning someone’s baby shower, and told you yesterday that I’d love to find you a coach to help you do a better job managing your workflow… and today you are asking me for a recommendation?
I supervised a teenager many years ago when I was a volunteer at a youth organization (she was paid staff). She was habitually late, she left early without arranging coverage for the kids, she took personal phone calls when she was supposed to be running activities— and she badmouthed the organization to the kids under her care. All of these things I had discussed with her- both at a “formal review” session and weekly.
She was waitlisted at her top college and her guidance counselor suggested asking “your boss” to write a letter. So she asked me. I was flabbergasted. What to say except “she’s got a terrible attitude, is habitually late, and even with clear and transparent feedback seems impervious to change”. So I told her that I didn’t think I could write the kind of letter that would help, given our somewhat strained working relationship and she seemed flabbergasted.
So PLEASE ask your teacher before assuming that the recommendation will be positive!!!
