<p>My D did all her applications and has been accepted at 3 schools - 2 of which gave nice scholarships. All the schools she's applied to are within 1 - 6 hours from home. Now that she's done all her applications she's decided she wants to apply to a school on the West coast (we live in PA). I am heartbroken. I told her she can apply and we'll see what type of aid/scholarship she gets and then can go visit in the spring if it still seems it would fit. She's very hyped up on this school. Frankly, I don't want to hold her back and I worry that once she gets there she will realize she missing HS friends or home and now can't get home so easily. She has a BF as well and I know he won't be attending school on the West Coast. Any advice from parents who S/D's attend college from home? How do you handle it. Thanks!</p>
<p>hmm she is now adding a school?
Did the admission person just come visit her school or something?</p>
<p>Id let her apply ( but get more info about why she is adding it)</p>
<p>Its good to have several to chose from-and there are airplanes, in fact it can be easier and safer to commute to home by plane than by car- but she doesn't have to make a decision yet.</p>
<p>I'm with EK - options are good. But keep your conversations realistic - If it will cost a lot more to go there, and lack of scholarships will rule it out, make sure she knows that up front so she knows what she is walking into. On the flip side, beware of making it more desirable as forbidden fruit.</p>
<p>Anything can happen by spring. She may not even get in. She may get in and get a huge scholarship. Or anything in between. Heck, she may not even finish the application. </p>
<p>I also wonder what made this school suddenly jump out and grab her attention. Be nice to know if it's true love or temporary infatuation!</p>
<p>I think it's great that you can be heartbroken but not let that hold her back.</p>
<p>DD applied to one west coast school and I held my breath. After we went out for visits, she really decided herself that it was not what she wanted, besides they did not offer enough money and she knew it was a criteria. . It is a reallllly long plane ride. She did get accepted with scholarship to TX so she is still far away. She has adjusted to missing things with HS friends. Was only nostalgic once when she was the only one that missed HS homecoming. They soon change their allegiance to college friends anyhow. She really couldn't wait to get back to school after Christmas break. Those HS friends she wants to stay in touch with she has on facebook and cell phone. The world is smaller now for them. </p>
<p>If there is a direct flight or Southwest flies there it is cheaper and more manageable.</p>
<p>"They soon change their allegiance to college friends anyhow. "</p>
<p>I wish they could see this...</p>
<p>Mine will be going clear across the country next fall. Oregon to Massachusetts. He's a fantastic kid and I'll miss him to bits, but I think it's a great for him. He wasn't so attached to going far away, as much as he was attached to that particular college, but I think it will be a wonderful opportunity for him. I would like to see his college years be ones where his world gets larger -- geographically and in other ways as well. When I was his age I would have given my right arm for such an opportunity, but I had to apply in-state. I would never dream of limiting his options if the opprtunity was there and the finances were manageable. Different kids want different things --some want to stay close to home-- but if your daughter wants to spread her wings in that way, by all means encourage her to. (That's my opinion, anyway.)</p>
<p>We live in Alaska- my daughters colleges are in NY + Boston. NY daughter saw the opportunity to jump out of her box and attend school in a dramatically different geographic/demographic area - the school is a great match for her and she is doing well. It was her decision - not ours - she was fortunate, like your daughter to have great choices on both coasts. In fact, another reason for chosing NY was to be away from HS friends.</p>
<p>Forget the BF -he'll be history sooner than she'd like to admit.</p>
<p>Facebook + cell phones + skype + camera on her computer keep friends in touch.</p>
<p>The airline thing is what gets us. The girls have gotten to be very experienced travelers. It's a $700 plane ticket + up to 18h + 4 time zones to get home. Boston D once watched the sun set 3 times -LOL. We use mileage as much as we can. But there are times when exam schedules get changed -or other things come up creating an often expensive headache for me as I am usually the one making reservations. It all works out.</p>
<p>lol I was going to open up a thread "separation anxiety". My daughter is applying to 2 in-state, & a few other schools near the W/E Coast. She has wanted to see the world for a long time but I'm having a hard time letting her go. I too want to see how others adjust to it.</p>
<p>We are on the West Coast and our D is a Freshman on the East Coast. I was worried about how I'd handle it -- I sobbed for a day, then realized that with cell phones we can talk as much as we want at no charge (and we do, sometimes 3 times a day!), plus we text message frequently, email and ichat since we both have MacBooks (I can see her room and meet her friends) - all of that at no extra cost. It has been much easier than I expected and it has allowed her to grow and learn so much more than if she had stayed local.</p>
<p>My perspective is very different as I came to this Country alone at 16 to attend college. The opportunity was so clearly wonderful that my mother, who I know grieved, never showed me anything but her happy excitement for me. I had won the lottery to my family, as seeing the world was to them the way to really succeed. So if my children want to go to school to stay close to me and to HS friends it would concern me.</p>
<p>Still many Americans seem to think their kids will come back and live in the neighborhood. My neighbor recently said this of her son at Harvard. I'm confused because we both know Wall Street is him dream and we live in CA! This child now has bigger dream than his parents though, things he learned from leaving home for diverse peers, which can be intimidating. He told me his second choice is London but I don't think he told his own parents!</p>
<p>The world has changed. My spouse, who works for a technology company, spends much time in Europe, Asia and now even South America. My children are bright and ambitious and I assume life will take them many places. The first is to go to college on the opposit coast and I'll be surprised if his siblings don't follow. In our town most want to go, UCB is the only school some will stay local for.</p>
<p>I've realized for a long time I will have to go to where they are to be in my grandchildren's lives. I really hope for good health so it will be something to look forward to.</p>
<p>Maybe OP daughter wants to dare to think bigger than her friends. Let her fly!</p>
<p>We too are a bi-coastal family and I endorse just about all of the above comments. The other thing, as severl posters mentioned, is that a great deal of change in your D's thinking is likely to happen between now, when she is applying to schools, and April, when she will (hopefully) have to choose just one.</p>
<p>So let her apply and let her think. And of course, you can discuss it with her more seriously if she is accepted and still wants to seriously consider it.</p>
<p>CA here and sophomore son in Boston. Between AIM and family cel phone plan I hear from him almost more than when he is home. I do miss his face and this past Christmas when he left I knew I wouldn't see him till late June.<br>
That said, when he is "home" now it feels like vacation to him. His HS friends are far flung. This past holiday I went to a meet at his former HS with him as there was no one else around to go with. Going back to Boston feels like going home.
To me, that is as it should be. I raised him to be a self sufficient adult and he is well on his way.</p>
<p>We are on the East Coast, and DS has applied East, West, and in-between. OP, has your D visited the West Coast school? If possible, you might have her make a solo visit before she has to make a decision. There are kids who will decide that the logistics and hassle of flying and getting ground transportation to school are more than they want to deal with. That "test drive" can help identify if that might be an issue. </p>
<p>We have always done a lot of traveling as a family, so my kids are pretty independent travelers. For DS, the solo trips were fun -- even when one flight coming back from a competition was diverted. I got a call at 11 pm (after waiting at the airport through two hours of delays), "Uh, Mom, we just landed...in Pittsburgh." (I was not in Pittsburgh.) He's the one who got the other two kids to call their parents and let them know what was happening, had signed up in advance for text updates from the airline on his phone, etc. The other parents were amazed -- but DS was acting just the way his dad and I do when we are on the road. (Nice to know some of it soaked in.)</p>
<p>At that point, I knew he was flying the coop -- but I've been working for years to get him launched (pardon the pun). I will miss him like bloody hell.</p>
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Maybe OP daughter wants to dare to think bigger than her friends. Let her fly!
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<p>Even tho my gal didn't go x-country - she did go far away from home - and this is exactly our mantra - we gave her wings - and off she flew - to a wonderful college experience that she would not have traded for anything - best thing she ever did (she actually refused to even consider New England schools). My guy pretty much did the same - and never looked back - had a wonderful experience. Both have friends all over the country/world now - lots of doors have been opened for both of them.</p>
<p>We discovered that e-mail/cell phone and all those gadgets actually kept us well connected - like she was down the road apiece :)</p>
<p>So....... Let your gal fly if she feels the need to - let her step out of the box a bit - the world will be her oyster - and the right college will land her just where she is meant to be :)</p>
<p>We live in Florida and DD goes to school in Ohio. One of the things to check is the direct flights between home and school. Thanksgiving will be the toughest if she will be traveling. Staying in touch is so much easier than years ago. But it all depends on the kid. Our son is 3 hours away and comes home often, yet we still know lots more about our daughter's college life!! Right now Ohio is looking close since she is talking about studying in Scotland next year.</p>
<p>We also are a West Coast family with an East Coast college attending son. It's hard, no question about it. I miss him but I realize that he's having the experience of a lifetime. What would make it easier is if his school were near a major airport, especially one that had many flights back home. But, as others have said, with cell phones and IMs, you can easily keep in touch. Now that our daughter is looking at colleges, she too is only considering schools outside of California. yippee :(</p>
<p>Our son is 14 hours away by car and at least 2 flights by plane. I missed him dreadfully for the first semester (especially until we saw him during parents' weekend). But, really, this isn't about me, is it? It is a good place for him. As he said when I asked him after his first month there, "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." Our finances are such that we cannot foot unlimited trips back and forth. Now that he is in his second year, though I loved having him home for break and miss him now that he is gone, I am certain that this is the good for him and I'm glad we let him go.</p>
<p>Another west coast family with a DS in the eastern time zone here. I remember when his GC asked me during his sophomore year if he was thinking about colleges yet and where? I glibly answered he could go anywhere as long as it was west of the Rockies! She laughed with me when she saw DS’s final application list in the fall of his senior year. Only a couple of his schools were ‘west of the Rockies’ and one was his in-state safety. Lucky for me, I got over the geography angst in time to let him explore all his possibilities. And as others have said, the ability to so readily communicate by cell phone, email, AIM, webcams, and whatever else is invented in the next few years, makes the geographical distance irrelevant, except for the trips to and from school. (Unfortunately, no one has come up with a way to teleport yet!) It is part of my regular morning routine to boot up our computer and first check the NOAA weather page for his college town. I can also quickly check the college real time webcams to see students throwing Frisbees or snowballs, depending on the season. It is true that it does not seem so far away when you have so much such real time information and communication options available. It is very unlike the dinosaur days when we had the weekly long distance phone call home using the pay phone at the end of the dorm hallway. </p>
<p>On the flip side, our HS sends a 3-4 students to the opposite coast every year and it is not unusual for at one of that group to decide to transfer ‘back home.’ Many different reasons for the transfers though, and not always due to distance.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your posts - they were reassuring to read. I'd like to give her her wings - but I will miss her! But I know this is about her and I need to get over my missing her. We raised her to fly the coop after all. I just didn't realize I'd be pregnant longer than it took her to graduate! As parents it's always our job to worry and I seem to excel at that :). So we'll see IF she gets accepted and IF she gets aid and then visit and then she'll decide......</p>