<p>I will take my first SAT next Jan. this month i'm busy preparing the essay section.
Can you awesome persons give me some suggestions?
Plz mark my essay! low score is okay.
It seems that native speakers cant understand what I say. So I need your worthwhile advice.
Also my vocabulary is also weak. I mean sometimes I use the same words or expressions many times in one essay. What can I do?</p>
<p>Thank you very much!</p>
<p>Here is my Jan 07 SAT essay:
Although most people go to work for pay,it is the fulfillment that motivates people to take a career. My uncle's and my friends' choices prove so.
My uncle John is a high school teacher who graduated from the most selective elite university---Peking University.Unlike his mathematics-major classmates who continued to study finance in graduate,he chose to become a teacher. He once said to me jovially when he saw I was doing my math assignment,that math is one form of art full of beauty,I know what he mean. He may think that the other's decision to study finance,which means a well-paid job,is not of interest at all. Being a teacher,however, allows him to tell other ones about why math problems are so attractive to some people including him. So his choice of job doesn't aim at the high salary. He wants to do work that he finds meaningful and fascinating.
Recently my friend May has got an amazing idea----travelling through China on her new silver bike to raise money for the impoverished family of which the children can not afford the tuiton of colleges. May got a decent job in an advertisement company with 200 dollars a month. But,as soon as she learned that millions of boys and girls,who may be avid readers,living in the remote areas,are not able to go to school due to financial problem on one television program,May was shocked and moved. She knew the feeling of these children because she herself had a lot of problems in the company due to lack of money. She felt humiliated in front of her colleagues who are wealthy. That's why she decided to set out a fund-raising for these children. The trip will last for one year. I wonder if she can afford the cost,and she must be extremely thrifty during the journey. Whatever,she never gives up. Next month,she will set off for Hangzhou. Ultimately,May will use her money,which seems a bit to the rich,to set up a foundation. So May's dream is to be a philantropist,instead of to pay well.
You can see both John's and May's deed substantiate that people are motived by their own ambitions.</p>