<p>I've just started my freshman year at penn. This is going to be my second semester. But to tell you the truth, now that I've come back home for winter break, I've realized that I don't really like school that much. Don't get me wrong, I like Penn, I think it's an awesome school, and I really am thankful for the opportunity of studying there. But at the same time, I can't help thinking how much better I'd feel if I went to school in my country. It's so freaking hard to say goodbye to everything every few months, and it's even worse each time I realize that it's going to be that way for the next 4 years. Every time I get on campus I start counting the days until I can come back to my country. I know I have to change this, but how??? I was used to a completely differenty HS experience. I had tons of friends, and tons of activities. But now that I'm at Penn, I party and all, but I have a hard time actually connecting with people. I've done great academically, but I find myself wishing I was back with my family and friends.</p>
<p>I don't know where you're from, but I'll say this. Learning to leave home is part of the school process and part of growing up. Those first couple of times going home are very tough - everyone is still close, everything still feels like <em>home</em>. However, as you spend some more time at school, and meet more people here, you'll come to separate from your home life and your high school friends. After some time, you'll feel closer and more comfortable in Philadelphia. I know how you feel - after my first semester I was so frustrated because I was so close to my back home friends and family, and I felt lonely because all of my acquaintances at Penn were new. After time, you'll build experiences with people here, and you'll realize how people back home are moving apart. </p>
<p>Try to get involved in rush for greek life and be sure to attend the activities fair they're planning. I know you may not be interested in a fraternity (I'll assume you're a megaMAN) now, but give rush a shot because you'll meet new friends, and have a great time. Force yourself to get involved in activities as they tend to be a launching point for a social life around here.</p>
<p>what are you involved in now?</p>
<p>a lot of the amazing activities on this campus are kinda under the radar, but yet are what we upperclassmen look forward to every time we come back to penn.</p>
<p>personally i just spent 2 hours playing the most ridiculous game of charades with 30 amazing people of all different class years - it's moments like these that make me miss penn (the people, not the place) whenever i'm at home.</p>
<p>feel free to ask me or any of the other penn students here about what we're involved in, how we spend our time outside of classes and studying. for the most part, we've come to love it here, and want to help you find that sense of belonging too.</p>
<p>I know exactly how you feel. When I moved from Nebraska (I used to have tons of friends, and I was in a lot of activities) to Kansas City (the one in missouri), I felt exactly the same. It was really awkward because I didn't have many friends (for an entire year). But I joined a lot of activities, and it takes time... people considered me new for 2 years. It took about that 2 years to finally find my own group of friends; it was tough, but I kept thinking that these 2 years ARE NOT MY ENTIRE LIFE. There's more after this, and it is also going to be way better after this. Of course I missed Nebraska but I couldn't do anything about it. For a brief period of time, I did consider moving away, but I am glad I stayed because there were so many more opportunities in Missouri (I know, Missouri sounds like a boring place, but compare it to Nebraska...). I really felt out of place, spent a lot of time myself, but I tried my damn hardest.</p>
<p>And now you're at Penn. I just have a few questions; do you feel alienated in any way? I mean, is there anything that may be driving people away from you? Maybe your accent from your native language not being english, since you're an international student, maybe your culture, or maybe the way you look? Penn is HUGE and I just don't think you've found your clique yet. You will. Join clubs that you have interests in, and then eventually you will find your own place.</p>
<p>I'm not a student at Penn, hopefully I will be next year, but that advice is just coming from life experiences. You have to move away from home - as hard as it is - but in your case it's especially difficult because you're all the way around the globe, I presume (Unless you're from Canada or something). It takes time to adjust from homesickness, and it seems like you're taking a bit longer than usual. But it will be okay, remember that there's a sun out there in the storm behind all the clouds. (Lol ok that was corny, but it's true).</p>
<p>You were accepted to Penn, a great school, and try your best to make the most of it. If you really can not cope with it and it is distracting you from performing your best / being happy, you can always transfer to a college back at your home country. But I would give Penn one more shot this semester, and if you really feel Penn isn't for you, you should transfer. People do transfer in and out of Penn, as well as every other college in the nation because it's not the fit for them. You don't always get it right the first time, but don't consider transferring out unless you're positive.</p>
<p>Remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Chances are you won't live with your family/friends for the rest of your life and you'll have to make new friends. I think you just need to get used to Penn, and you'll be fine.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>Thanks guys, all of this advice really does help.</p>
<p>mattwonder- Thanks. I might look into the whole greek life thing. I'm not that into that scene, but hey, I might as well give it a chance.</p>
<p>tenebrousfire- That's sort of the thing. I'm not really involved in stuff, and I feel it's part of a "vicious cycle", if you know what I mean. When I get to school, I just start thinking so much about how I don't want to be there, that it sort of makes me lose all interest in even joining groups, even though I know that being part of a club etc would help. Hopefully this semester I'll try to change that, and take part in activites besides school.</p>
<p>chair2- It's not so much that I feel alienated, I mean, I talk to people, etc, and they'll invite me to do stuff, but sometimes I just don't feel like mixing and connecting. My native language isn't english, but I 've been told I have a pretty decent english accent, so I don't think it's really that. Culturally, I can't think of anything that could make me really clash with others (I've already lived in the states before. I lived about 3 years here when I was a kid. 2 in Chicago and one in miami). I know I have to joing clubs, but sometimes, I don't know, the idea of meeting new people sort of doesn't sit well with me. I'm not exactly what you'd call shy, but I take time to warm up to people...</p>
<p>But anyways, thanks guys.</p>
<p>When I first moved, I was all hyped up about having a ton of friends and being successful academically & socially, but when I got there it totally changed. I didn't really feel a need to make friends because I had a bunch of better ones back home, so I just went semi-anti-social, except for the same people that kept talking to me, and those were the people that I talked back to. People warm up to you and want to be your friend, and I didn't really get that for awhile. When you realize who those people are and start to really accept them and are ready to be friends is when you start feeling connected and less homesick, and are ready to add in new friends.</p>
<p>I'm guessing you don't have a strong motivation to make new friends because you've already got really great friends back home. Realize that those friends will eventually drift apart (most likely) thru these next 4 years and that your college friends will stay tight(somewhat) after graduation. So pretty much, keep doing what you're doing until you can find a resemblance of someone that you can feel can emulate the friendship-ness you feel from your home friends. Then repeat.</p>
<p>And also, trying Greek life can't hurt either. Clubs are pretty much a must. You can't just go thru college just taking classes when there's so much more to offer.</p>
<p>I wish they emphasized it more in high school. The people you are close to just go their separate ways once you get into college. It's natural and it just happens whether you want it to or not. If you hold onto your past life for too long and neglect life at Penn, you'll find the former fades away and the latter is underdeveloped, and that's a problem. I still struggle with social issues at times because I came to college at a bad time in my life (a ton of family and financial crap went down, coupled with the natural troubles of college transitioning), and so I had a very hard time connecting with people. I still do, in fact, even into my junior year. It takes me a while to warm up to people. There are tons of people I'd like to know better and hang out with, but I don't know how to go about doing it without coming across as awkward and forced.</p>
<p>So I'd advise that you just force yourself to join some clubs immediately while you have time.</p>
<p>"feel free to ask me or any of the other penn students here about what we're involved in, how we spend our time outside of classes and studying. for the most part, we've come to love it here, and want to help you find that sense of belonging too."</p>
<p>so, what are you upperclassmen involved in?</p>