Help creating college list

Parents Forum
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Hi CC Parents,

I’m not on here too much, but when i was helping my oldest daughter put together her college list I read a post here about a school I’d never heard of before. Fordham University. Well my daughter is a thriving Fordham Ram and my husband and I couldn’t be happier with the university. Thank you CC!

Now on to daughter #2 and we’re struggling to make a list. Her most recent response to this process is “pick a school and I’ll go”. She seems overwhelmed by the process of choosing and isn’t really sure what type of school she wants. I hope anyone with insight can make honest, helpful suggestions. I will try to be as honest as I can in my description of her as a person and a student.

She is a junior. 3.9 UW GPA with several Honors/AP. Attends a strong academic prep school (which she applied to on her own in j.h. because she wanted something more challenging than public and got in with a very generous scholarship!). Strong interest in Math, and is thinking maybe math or engineering for a major but unsure. Is a varsity starter for the soccer team and plays club at a fairly high level (not the highest). Her coach, who is knowledgable, says she can definitely play D2 or D3 and depending on the school maybe a low ranked D1. Has leadership, volunteer, clubs, church and a job. She definitely wants to play in college but is open to the idea of playing for the college’s rec team. She’s not really passionate about anything in particular. She describes the best part of her High School experience as being a part of the soccer team.

We know she can be competitive at some top schools, but the question is where will she be happy and thrive? This is what I’ve come to realize - She likes being one of the smartest kids- not just average, but doesn’t like being with kids who aren’t equally motivated. A friend who is a freshman at Berkeley spoke about how crazy competitive the atmosphere is there. He went from being High School Valedictorian and top student to barely being able to maintain passing grades. He is struggling. My daughter is thinking maybe she doesn’t want that level of competition. She is also a pretty laid back kid who does enjoy some parties/social life but also likes to relax at home.

Every time we start making lists it seems like there are too many to choose. Especially since she has no real opinion on size, location, etc. I’m torn between 1) pushing her to apply to top schools where I think she’d do well, (but which ones? 2) letting her coach see where she could get recruited, 3) sending her to Fordham with her sister (where she will likely be eligible for a large scholarship based on PSAT) and 4) letting her do this by herself - I’m tired.

I know this is long. I’m just hoping some parents have been in my shoes and in hindsight can offer some advice or guidance. Or point me to some older threads, I haven’t had much luck. You guys are always great. Thank you so much for reading this long post.

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I would start by taking her to visit some nearby schools. I’m surmising from your screen name that you are in Southern California? There are lots of great schools there. Maybe look at the Claremont Colleges and a couple of larger research universities. At least by looking at colleges, she can see what she likes and doesn’t like, even if she doesn’t apply to that particular one.

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Re: the struggling friend

College (any college) does have much higher expectations of self motivation and time management. That may be a reason why some students who cruised through high school with A grades struggle in college.

4

Based on her interests while being undecided, it may be good to prioritize schools with engineering (native, not 3+2) and strong math, but not specialty schools, so that she has options without needing to transfer.

5

If the thing she likes most about school is soccer, and she’s having trouble deciding what else she’s passionate about, maybe it would be best to start the search with soccer. In certain schools athletic recruitment can really help with college admissions. Have her talk to her coach about where she might get recruited. Make sure the list contains some D1, D2, and D3 schools so she can see the difference. Narrow the list further by schools that have math and/or engineering programs. Then start visiting - sometimes students really have no idea what they want in a school until they visit a few and realize “Oh I really like this one” or “No this one I don’t like at all” and then start to recognize patterns in which schools she does and doesn’t like. D1 schools are roughly larger than D2 and D3 schools so if you visit a few of each she might realize she has a preference for the size of the school - this will help you further narrow the list.

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My D is also a high stats junior who is interested in playing soccer in college. My D is only interested in D3, probably would not be able to play at most D1 schools. I would recommend that you talk to your club coach about the process right away. Recruiting for women’s soccer is very competitive at all levels. Here on the east coast recruiting happens mainly through club soccer via college showcases, some of the best of which only admit the most competitive club teams. It does not happen at the hs level. At this point, the top recruits from our Ds class already know where they will be attending college. Kids who are a level or two below that have been to multiple college showcases and been seen by many coaches. My D has been seen multiple times by some of the top D3 LACs she is interested in, has regular communication with a couple, and has been invited to spring junior day events. This is not to scare you or your D from pursuing college soccer. I would just recommend that you contact her coach and get the process moving.

If your D cannot attend the big showcases you might think about putting together film you can send to coaches. If your she is open to it, look for schools that also offer club (as opposed to rec) soccer. My understanding is that club players generally have extensive soccer experience and are very competitive. They travel and have matches against other colleges (I believe the travel is more local than varsity). My D is considering club as well.

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Thank you Berniesmom! We are definitely aware of the competitiveness of Women’s soccer and have been in contact with some schools. Many of her friends are already committed. Her Club coach is her High School coach (nice huh?) and she has been to a few showcases and has a few more on the spring/summer schedule. The problem with that is schools that are recruiting her directly (D3) so far are not schools that have strong math/engineering programs or are not competitive academically. For example, Wellesley contacted her after the last showcase, great school, no engineering program. At the college level, I thought Club was the same as rec. I think I meant Club.

Advice from ucbalumnus and spiritinthenight is also very helpful. Thank you. I just emailed her coach asking for more direct help with this process. It makes sense, if soccer is what she loves most, then that is the best place to start, then narrow from there. I also think it’s true, she can’t know what she likes if she hasn’t seen much. Bouders, we need to make an effort to see more schools here in SoCal! She loves UCSB and UCLA but could not make those teams. We just need to see what else is out there.

Thanks everyone. Sometimes the answer is simpler than it seems, it just takes an outside perspective.

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Math at Wellesley is strong and unless she’s completely committed to becoming an engineer, the cross registration with MIT would provide plenty of geeky/tech classes (there is a van which travels between W and MIT for cross-registrants). Serious academic environment but not hyper competitive vibe.

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^ really? I didn’t know about the cross registration. And she is not committed at all. Everyone else is telling her engineering. She audited a course at the cc last summer and enjoyed it, but that’s it. I think she was a bit turned off by it being an all girls school too. But I’ve heard there are a lot of advantages to all women’s colleges.

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Cross registration may or may not be convenient. For example, Barnard - Columbia is very convenient, since they are across the street. The five colleges (Smith, UMass, etc.) have a dedicated bus system and matching calendars. But some other arrangements are less convenient due to the commuting involved or mismatching calendars (semesters starting and ending on different dates, etc.).

Also, if she wants to major in engineering, the “home” college needs to have it as a major. (Smith does.)

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Of course, if she’s majoring in engineering, W is a mistake (I thought I made that clear). But if she wants a math major AND a few classes from MIT to round it out- perfectly doable (I know a lot of kids at both MIT and W who have used the cross registration option). Econ at W is particularly strong- and a nice fit for a kid strong in math.

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Smith occurred to me, too; they’re not particularly well-ranked in soccer, although they have a decent team. And I don’t know how much they might recruit for it. But academically, it sounds an excellent fit. Smart, motivated but not uber-competitive women. My oldest D found it a very welcoming, challenging (in a good way) environment; she didn’t major in engineering but in physics, and in her current grad program in physics has found herself very well prepared in relation to the other students. (Smith used to be, and perhaps still is, the only women’s college to offer an engineering degree) She did find taking classes at other schools in the 5-college consortium cumbersome, although she did it at UMass/Amherst and Mt Holyoke. It would have been easier–less time-consuming–if she could have driven (Mt Holyoke is particularly long to get to).

Otherwise, I’ve heard excellent things about Carleton–no engineering, but a 3-2 program, and very intelligent but not elbowy students. And it is said that Carleton likes National Merit scholars, so if she did well in her PSATs that’s a plus.

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How about Santa Clara? It’s comparable to Fordham, but west coast.
Although I believe they are a D1 soccer team, they still have club and intramurals that she could participate in.
Their math, cs and engineering programs are very strong, with tremendous options if she decides on a completely different direction. SCU encourages a better life/work balance than many larger universities.

14

I second a lot of these suggestions - with a particular plug for Smith for attmosphere. I don’t know much about their soccer teams, but in terms of an athletic, active, collaborative, bright student body you might check out Whitman on the west coast and Bates on the east coast. They are both fairly small and remote, however, so if that’s not her thing they wouldn’t be a good fit.

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sending her to Fordham with her sister (where she will likely be eligible for a large scholarship based on PSAT)

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Is she a likely NMSF? Fordham is super generous to NMFs!!! Did her sister get a NMF award?

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Is merit aid a priority? If so some of the schools previously mentioned like Carleton and Bates do not have significant if any merit awards. If merit $ is not a priority, and D3 soccer and engineering are, perhaps take a look at Tufts?

17

RIT is also a strong math/engineering school that has women’s soccer, and good merit aid. It is cold there though.

18

I am in your shoes (well, similar shoes), though the sport is not Soccer. My approach right now is to try to develop a long list of discriminants that can define her experience, growth, future. Then I want to weight them by importance; then rank them as if I were her (also give them to her to rank, but I am not seeing a lot of response).

On the other hand, I am trying to do the same for schools (what special programs they offer, what having her would contribute to the school), and trying to uncover new schools (almost as if they are the applicant trying to gain my DD as a student).

What I am sure some long-time CCers will snicker at (since it probably seems so obvious) is that I am also trying to list schools by mission:

Major research institution
State Flagship (UCB & UCLA)
OOS Flagships (with merit $$)
SLAC (Claremont colleges, Whitman, etc.)
Regional/directional college (closest in CA would be CSUSM, CSULA)
Community College
Religious College

Many colleges straddle more than one category- I try to understand and delineate the specifics of how they do that.

Then, I list Div I, Div II, and Div III teams (and their conference),

Finally, I try to figure out the COA (projecting merit likelihood the same as I project admissions likelihood- an inexact science, at best).

So, this is my approach. Let me know (anyone) where the holes are. Each of these major categories defines a subset that could become a non-negotiable point at some point in the process. Here, in February, I am simply trying to gather and sort the information, not make selections of a college list. Some favorite schools are cropping up for me- and that’s alright. They will change. In the end they will need to be her favorites, so my job is to describe and present them, not to list favorites (that will come across whether I want it to or not!).

OP, I hope laying out this approach helps you! Others, chime in!

19

Lots of good suggestions. Tufts was mentioned by her coach. But yes we are looking for Merit Aid, does Tufts not give out Merit, because I see they meet a high percentage of need? Santa Clara, we ruled out because of soccer - they recruit elite players. I guess the problem is we haven’t decided how important it is to play Varsity vs Club. She is not going to be NMF but looks good for NHRP. Doing some research on Smith and Tufts now. Thanks again!

20

My younger daughter was undecided on major when she started college but has ended up with a double major in math and economics, at Carleton. I don’t think Carleton is intensely competitive but there are many high-achieving students there. My daughter is happy that, by continuing to work hard (that’s just who she is), she is near the top of her class. She has had great summer jobs in math and economics, thanks again to hard work and Carleton’s career center. She also was accepted by Smith, among other schools. It was very tempting but I think ultimately, the fact that it is not coed was a deciding factor.