Help! D is lost and confused and doesn't know what to do!

Parents Forum
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<p>I'll try to keep this short, but it probably won't be. My D is spending her senior year as an exchange student in Spain. We tried to prepare for this as much as possible with regards to college - she took all the classes she needed to graduate, took the ACT, visited colleges, applied to the ones she could before she left and wrote essays and e-mailed them to me for the others as needed. When she left, she felt confident that she wanted to go to Georgia Tech and major in math. </p>

<p>Well, if you know anything about high school student exchange, you know that the students change a lot during that year - they learn and grow in unpredictable ways. Now she doesn't know what she wants to major in or where she wants to go to college. She's been doing lots of research on-line and is finding lots of negatives to Georgia Tech and is also not sure if she wants to go that far from home after living abroad for a year. So, she's trying to decide on a major and a college but only has 5 to choose from as she applied to 7, got rejected from one and turned down one due to lack of financial aid. Her choices are:</p>

<p>LSU - the least expensive, closest to home but still 4+ hours away, but she really has no desire to go there, not the greatest, accepted in honors college</p>

<p>Iowa State - our alma mater and only a few thousand more, a lot of choices for majors, we loved it there, and I think she would love it too if only it weren't so cold half the year, great financial aid, far away</p>

<p>Tulane - affordable with financial aid, still 5+ hour drive, easy to switch majors and still graduate in 4 years but not so many choices, originally had no interest in it, she has never visited there</p>

<p>Univ. of South Carolina - she only applied there because she was considering international business for a bit, not really interested in it, not great school, same price as Tulane, she's never visited there, accepted in honors college, far away </p>

<p>Georgia Tech - most expensive (at least $11k more than the others), heard classes are super hard and not much help from profs so she's kind of scared of it, she no longer wants to go to school with a bunch of engineering majors, not as many choices to change major, not exactly close but could at least get a direct flight there</p>

<p>I think she maybe would choose Tulane but she wanted a bigger school with sorority houses, football (I know Tulane has football, but it's not so big there), and the big college experience. She also wants to make sure that she can find the right major wherever she goes and get a good education followed by a good job. She seems overly concerned with the reputation of the school and wants to go to the "best" school.</p>

<p>I realize I could be mistaken on some of the thoughts I have about these colleges, so correct me if I am. Any suggestions, advice, or ways to figure out what she might want to major in would be greatly appreciated. She's so stressed out over it and all she can't even go visit any of them.</p>

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<p>Is the cold the only thing that is keeping her from Iowa State?</p>

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<p>I think it’s the biggest thing - she keeps saying she wants to stay in the south. She really liked the college when we went to visit, but unfortunately it was in February…should have gone in September instead…</p>

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<p>My first thought was “what is this with high schools sending Seniors abroad??” I have two friends with kids who spent the last year in Italy and it made the college application process a real bear! Who suddenly thought this was a great idea? </p>

<p>Anywho, did she not like Tulane, USC and LSU from the get-go or was she just so invested in GT at the time that she applied to them as back ups for the heck of it? Just seems like the “choice” is between 4 schools that she’s not interested in and one that’s too cold and far away. Is a gap year out of the question? Give her time to settle back in to her life, re-experience home and gather her wits? Again, I can not imagine having a child in another country for 9 months, go thru the college app process and send them off into the great blue yonder before their suitcases are even cold. Good luck!!</p>

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<p>When will she be back in the US? Might it be possible to narrow it down to 2? If so, I’d call those colleges and ask for another month to (re)visit and decide, on the basis of the unusual circumstances of her being away now and having her priorities shift. </p>

<p>I really don’t think it would hurt to ask the colleges for an extension on the decision.</p>

<p>Alternatively, a gap year might be best. Many students transfer after freshman year, but sometimes a student loses out on the best merit and financial aid coming in as a sophomore transfer. A gap year would give her time to truly think about where she wants to go to college, which doesn’t sound like it’s ANY of these colleges, really. </p>

<p>Tough stuff, good luck.</p>

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<p>My DS is going to Georgia Tech but was accepted at other schools including, Iowa State, LSU, and University of South Carolina. GT is supposedly a hard school but I’m not sure you can assume that professors aren’t much help. Has she talked to kids at GT who are Math majors? That might be helpful in deciding if it’s really as hard as she’s heard. GT is mostly a school for STEM and Business students and if she is leaning toward a liberal Arts major then it may not be the best choice… Remind her though there are a lot more guys there than girls at GT.:)</p>

<p>One of the reasons DS applied to University of South Carolina was they have the best or one of the best honors colleges in the US. Or at least that’s what he read. He also got into the honors college there. I think being in Honors makes it a different experience. You might want to look at that.</p>

<p>DS wasn’t as impressed with LSU and Iowa State as GT plus they were farther away.
However LSU isn’t a bad school. I think again it just depends on what she wants to major in.</p>

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<p>University of South Carolina was my daughter’s second choice school. We all really liked the school a LOT. DD received a very generous merit award. I honestly think if she had been accepted into either the honors college or capstone program, she would have gone there. </p>

<p>It sounds like she has almost too many good choices. To be honest, I can see pluses to all of the schools on her list.</p>

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<p>Don’t discount the part about her wanting to be in the South. Our daughter ended up at a southern school after spending a summer studying in the northeast. It is not just about weather. It is very much about the culture of being born and raised and in the south and how that can be shocking to someone moving to the midwest or north. (more so in the north) Some kids want the adventure of trying a new part of the country, some don’t. If she doesn’t, don’t push it or you will be going through the transfer process in no time. So if you take Iowa out it leaves you with four. Georgia Tech, IMO is a school for students with a pretty narrow focus and if this study abroad program has made her start thinking in different ways, she might consider leaving GT in the “no” pile. LSU, Tulane and USC will give her a much better slate to build new interests. GT is also VERY urban and even though located in Georgia, I don’t consider it your typical “southern” school. </p>

<p>So if she wants, southern, that leaves you with Tulane, LSU and South Carolina. As far as greek life goes, the true, southern sorority experiences will be found at LSU and South Carolina, although Tulane has a strong greek life (about 25% of students go greek…LSU and USC are football schools) Not sure where the “not great school” comes from in regard to USC (it was good enough a few months ago to apply) as it has a better than average rep in the south. I think she will just have to make a list of what is important to her (urban campus, sorority life, major choices, etc) and rank the schools accordingly. I would not have her discount USC just because she hasn’t visited it but it would be a blind faith situation.</p>

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<p>She’s not lost. She’s just comparing maps for the best possible route. Any of the mentioned schools will be fine. GL</p>

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<p>I live in Georgia, and have researched GT for my daughter, who ended up choosing the LAC route instead. GT has a fantastic reputation, graduates have great networking opportunities and the GT name on your diploma carries a lot of weight with local employers. GT does have a liberal arts college, it is not as stressful as the engineering college. GT is right in downtown, and IMO has security issues that are not being properly addressed. The professors will not have as much care and concern for undergrads, especially freshmen. I would consider having a student transfer into GT, to avoid the stressful first two years of being taught by TAs and the weed out courses.</p>

<p>A friend who lives in Georgia has 2 children at USC, and they both love it. Honors college there is great for them. We researched USC also, but never got a chance to visit, and in the last minute paring down, it was just further away than some other schools and got cut from my daughter’s list. Everything I researched about USC seemed positive.</p>

<p>I also think having the Gap Year Option is a good idea. Your child has taken in so much in the last year, living abroad. If the right fit can’t be found soon, having a fall back option can lessen the stress you are all feeling.</p>

<p>Good luck, you have great options to choose from.</p>

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<p>CyclONE Nation!!!</p>

<p>We are instate, son turned down U MN and Tulane for ISU. Partly because of price, ISU was the cheapest. Partly because of the large selection of majors that he is choosing from…econ, urban planning, anthro, forestry, geology, agronomy, ag economics, etc etc.</p>

<p>It also didn’t hurt that 2 of his uncles graduated from ISU and loved their time at the school. Neither live in Iowa now and have had very successful careers which has impressed him.</p>

<p>Good luck with the choice. All seem great to me. Although, if she is concerned about ‘reputation’, then Ga Tech and Tulane are the obvious choices.</p>

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<p>Is there a question? The last thing you want to do is push her one or another so that, if she is unhappy there, she ends up blaming you. She has chosen a bunch of schools, got in, and you can afford them. So either she should choose, or she can take a year off (which I think is probably the best move - why be in college at all if she doesn’t have any idea what she wants to be studying?)</p>

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<p>“She really liked the college when we went to visit, but unfortunately it was in February…should have gone in September instead…” - February was a good choice You wouldn’t want a kid heading off to college, not knowing all the facts and getting an unpleasant surprise.</p>

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<p>I don’t think a girl should go to GT unless she really wants that environment…techie, uneven male/female ratio, etc.</p>

<p>It’s too bad that she never visited S. Carolina. What will her major be?</p>

<p>If she wants rah rah football, then really Iowa St, USCarolina, LSU or GT are her only choices. If none of those work, then a gap year might be best.</p>

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<p>South Carolina was S1’s second choice He decided he wanted to stay in NC so chose NCSU (even though we live closer to USC than NCSU ). </p>

<p>We were very impressed when we toured USC. The campus was beautiful. In the weeks following the tour, S1 received more “love” from USC than any other school he applied to…phone calls, postcards,emails. Greek life is big at USC as is big time rah,rah football. S2 has some friends attending USC who love it.
S1 was admitted to Capstone and awarded a McKissick scholarship that made USC very affordable. If it’s doable, you should go for a visit before making a decision.</p>

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<p>We visited U of SC and thought the campus was beautiful. The honors college dorms are brand new and lovely. And it didn’t seem overwhelmingly huge. I would put that high on my list together with Tulane. (I thought Tulane was big on sports, including football, but am not that familiar with it and have never been there.)</p>

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<p>Agree with colorado_mom. Taking her in the weather she would be in for much of her academic year was the RIGHT thing to do.</p>

<p>Tech is different from Tulane which is different from USC. Not sure what her definition of the “best” school is. Does size matter? How important is the sports scene? </p>

<p>My s chose Tulane over Tech, though spent a summer at Tech. very different type of college experience.</p>

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<p>We are in the same state as Packmom (NC) and the val 2 years after my son was val turned down UNC Chapel Hill for Univ of South Carolina Honors college. She had other choices as well but took the offer from USC, she did have a great merit package that she was not offered at UNC. Her older sis who graduated same year as son, graduated sal and attended NCSU also on a great merit package after turning down Northwestern. </p>

<p>Both sisters graduated with high honors from their undergrads and both are now pursuing fully-funded Phd programs at Carnegie Mellon. </p>

<p>Son is very good friends with both and when he saw what South Carolina was offering along with the honors college and its benefits he advised her to go with SC. She really enjoyed her experience. </p>

<p>College is what you make of it. She will get a great education as long as she puts in the effort. The “best” school for her is the one she will find her “fit”.</p>

<p>Kat</p>

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<p>I would also agree that if she is genuinely conflicted and feels that the choices she made between junior and senior year are way off, she could take a year off, work and start the process again next year when she’s back on home turf. I’ve not known any kids that were exchange students as seniors instead of juniors and I imagine the world does look different after that experience than after junior year in a US high school.</p>

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<p>I would take a different perspective. Since so many kids end up happy where they land, its probably not necessary to take a year off and restart this whole process. That can be extremely challenging, especially in this increasingly competitive climate. </p>

<p>Look at all of the “I cant decide” threads and you willl realize your dau is quite normal in her conflicted feelings. And half the students change their majors anyway, so no biggie there. Mine both did. Just be sure the school has the majors she might be interested in. If my younger s had chosen Emory over Tulane he’d not been able to switch to engineering. </p>

<p>Things to think about.</p>