<p>My daughter dropped a big bombshell on me today. Her college plans were set; she has accepted admission at a school 2 hours from home and seemed pretty happy about it. We did have some drama earlier in the year when she was accepted to her #1 choice but received no FA and, since it was OOS and very expensive, she had to pass. The school she chose isn't in the same league but she seemed to be okay with her choice.</p>
<p>Today she told me that she really thinks she sold herself short in this whole process, by limiting herself to our state and the states contiguous to ours (we are in the MW). Now she says she really wishes she were going south, hates the winters here, doesn't really see herself at the school she chose, etc.</p>
<p>Now what? I want to tell her that it's too late but I'm not sure that it is. Is there a list out there somewhere of schools who are still accepting applicants? And does anyone think that FA would be on the table at a smaller school (I'm sure the large publics have awarded all of theirs). We did review the other schools she was accepted to and ruled them all out again. I just don't know what to tell her at this point so would welcome any comments or suggestions. Thanks!</p>
<p>First, she is lucky to have such a good mom! Many people would have just said “you’ve made your bed – now lie in it.” She is obviously close enough to you that she feels emotionally safe to tell you all this. And you are caring enough to post this question.</p>
<p>When did you send your deposit check (can you call the bank and put a stop on it)? When I was severely disappointed about D’s admission results, I googled “rolling admissions” and found quite a few that were still accepting apps. I don’t know enough about your daughter to recommend any particular school, but I’m sure there are plenty of schools in the South where they’d be happy to have her.</p>
<p>Explore this with her. She may end up saying ok to the place she matriculated at. The angst and questioning is healthy – she is smart to see that it’s a big choice. Also – see if the school she chose offers any exchange programs with other schools – perhaps she can do a junior year not abroad, but at a sister school in the South.</p>
<p>Or would she consider deferring her admission for a year and doing a gap year?</p>
<p>She is not stuck. It is not too late.
Good luck.</p>
<p>I believe that deposits may be refundable if you ask for it back before May 1st?
Here is a start: (can’t guarantee the accuracy–many are in cold climates)
May 1
Clemson University
University of Hawaii
(10 campuses with final dates ranging from May through August)</p>
<p>June 15
University of New Mexico</p>
<p>Rolling admissions (until the class is full)
University of Alabama
Beloit College
Gustavus Adolphus
Hendrix College
Illinois Wesleyan University
University of Iowa
University of Maryland, College Park
Michigan State University
University of Minnesota
Northern Michigan University
Penn State University
University of Pittsburgh</p>
<p>Classof2015 - thanks, I’ve done some similar googling myself tonight and am sorting through the results.</p>
<p>Loring - she intends to study Early Childhood Education, she had focused entirely on public initially but now feels she should have considered private. Same goes for size - she had concentrated on mid-size to large institutions and now wishes she had also looked at smaller schools. Her ACT composite was 27 and her GPA is 3.4. My EFC for her is about $27M but, as for most parents, bears no resemblance to our actual ability to pay… Thanks for taking an interest!</p>
<p>I don’t know how helpful this is, but after May 1st, a list of colleges with spaces still available is put out by (I’m not sure of the exact name) National Association of College Admissions Counselors. If you google the name, you’ll find their website where they post the list.</p>
<p>I recommend you take a look at Hendrix College in Conway, Arkansas. They’re one of the Colleges that Change Lives. They have rolling admissions and are known for generous merit aid. It looks like your daughter’s stats would give her an excellent chance of getting in if the Fall 2011 class isn’t already full. Hendrix also offers a major in Early Childhood Education. If you’re from Illinois, your admissions rep is a very nice guy from the Chicago suburbs. There is also a freshman woman at Hendrix from the Chicago suburbs who posts in the Hendrix forum under the name AnagramPanda. We have a similarly fictitious EFC of $27k, but the Hendrix aid package leaves us paying about $17k. There’s a lot I like about Hendrix. My daughter isn’t committed to going there yet, but it’s on her short list, and it would be a great fit for her.</p>
<p>Honestly, I’d tell her to stick it out with her choice. I had definite buyer’s remorse after choosing my undergrad (a lowly-ranked state u that was several steps below, prestige-wise where my stats could have taken me) but truly loved it both academically and socially and miss it dearly now that I’m gone.</p>
<p>With those stats she should be able to be accepted at a good many schools, but, OOS tuition will be a bear. Private school tuition will also be challenging. If I were you I would have the discussion that you can only afford to pay X amount per year for four years and she may choose to spend that where she wants. If she REALLY wants to go to the South, she’ll have to find a way to finance some of the OOS tuition costs (most likely). Allow her to do the math and I’d bet the buyer’s remorse quickly fades away and she starts her education at her #2 school. If not, you’ve allowed her the freedom to make the choice within YOUR means.</p>
<p>There had to be a reason she liked this school enough to apply and initially decide to attend. An awful lot of kids get buyers’ remorse.</p>
<p>At this point, I’d tell her to go for a year. If she still feels she made a mistake, at the beginning of 2nd semester she can apply for transfers. But she needs to give this school a chance.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I have to admit that your responses echo my feelings, which are that she probably needs to at least try this school for a year. I know she could get accepted elsewhere but I just don’t think there would be any aid available at this late date.</p>
<p>I just hate the idea of her transferring, though. Older DD did that and found that it was pretty hard to assimilate into her new school. She did make friends but it was tough; there was no real effort from the school to help her meet people like there is for incoming freshmen.</p>
<p>If it tells you anything, she was talking about taking a year off or looking into Americorps or something similar. This is just not a kid who is happy about attending the school she’s chosen.</p>
<p>^Transfer student chiming in here. If I were you, if there are colleges she can still apply for that she would want to attend, I would at least try and if it were me I would even consider a gap year if you think this is for real and not cold feet. Transferring is a really difficult experience for many and the result may be that she ends up not being able to be happy at either school because she missed the integration programs schools have for freshmen at her second school. I really think it’s better to take a non-traditional route and end up at the right school AS A FRESHMAN if at ALL possible. I am graduating this year and while yeah, I have friends and I am involved with the university, I still don’t feel like I am a part of the community here because I missed out on SO MUCH of the shared experiences most students have here and it’s really disappointing. Not to mention being the bottom priority for everything, for example as a senior I had freshman housing priority and only the worst housing options were available by the time I could register.</p>
<p>Also, as I would guess you know if your other D transferred, scholarships for transfer students are EXTREMELY hard to come by, so the financial situation may be even worse on a second time through.</p>
<p>College is not worth going bankrupt for, speaking from unfortunately personal experience, so you have to know your limitations here-- but I would not just say “well she can transfer” without seriously looking at the options first. Why did she pick the original school in the first place? Was she happy about it before?</p>
<p>Ema - as I read your post, I kept wondering if older DD could possibly be posting on CC…lol. Your description fits her to a “t” and it’s probably the big reason I have for taken younger DD seriously. It’s just been a struggle all the way through for the older D and I’d like to avoid that if possible for younger D.</p>
<p>She does like this school, she just doesn’t love it. She doesn’t really like uncertainty so, once we ruled out school #1 due to cost, she pretty quickly settled on this one. As her friends have made their choices lately, she’s just noticed that they are all so excited and it’s made her realize that she just doesn’t feel the same way.</p>
<p>First, OP, buyer’s remorse is pretty common in alot of things, including choice of college. For years, she’s seen many possibilities open; suddenly, she’s committed to one, and it’s scary. </p>
<p>Suggesting to her that she defer and take a gap year might tell you a great deal about whether this is just panicky second-guessing, or a real change of mind. </p>
<p>I read a great suggestion on another thread: Have her toss a coin. Not because there’s any value in how the coin lands, but because as she tosses it into the air, she might find herself hoping for a certain result. If so, that’s her answer.</p>
<p>She has until May 1 to change her mind, so she is not stuck. If she feels she wants another school, all she has to do is contact admissions (or have the GC contact admissions). and let them know that she has changed her mind. Most are used to kids changing their mind and if she now wants to attend school B, they will have no problem taking her in. the worse that will happen is at she may end up losing a part of the deposit you have already made on school A.</p>
<p>My daughter found that she had applied high last year. She ended up hating her safety and applied last minute to Earlham which she loved. We got a great merit aid package that has left us paying less than the FAFSA EFC (because I also get employer TAP and Earlham layers that on top of our aid). My daughter got into Bard off the wait list after being accepted to Earlham and chose Earlham. She is just finishing her freshman year and loves it.</p>
<p>I would recommend looking around given our experience.</p>