Help! Depressed about college...

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>Okay, I am a college freshman, been here for around a month now, about 3 hours from my home... I had to settle with my second choice in terms of colleges, a large public college that seemed okay at the time.</p>

<p>The problem is I really don't feel like I fit in. I get along with my suitemates, and have a few friends that I hang out with sometimes, but I feel like I have to constantly put up a facade because if they knew the real me they would not talk to me. This happened in High school as well, but I felt like I could be myself at home. At college, I just don't have any time to be myself, it is just living this lie constantly 24/7. </p>

<p>Part of it seems to be that I really don't think I am suited for college. I can do the academics, but everyone else seems to be the same, while I seem to stick out. I never really wanted to go to college, being fairly uninterested in academics, but it was never a choice-I come from a family where it was the norm, and if I made the choice to not go, I would be pretty much on the street, kicked out of the house. I know I should consider myself incredibly lucky as my parents are rich enough to pay for what isn't covered by scholarship, but I just feel out of place and like this is a waste of time. </p>

<p>To make it worse, what I would like to study and go into (teaching) is impossible for me due to an accent that came from a serious speech impediment I had as a kid, so I essentially have to settle for another degree that I would not be very interested in. </p>

<p>All in all, I feel depressed and stuck doing something that is unlikely to help me. My college isn't prestigious or well known, so it is unlikely I will get a job after college, so I will most likely be stuck doing the same damn job as if I didn't go, except not having as much money.</p>

<p>Plus, to make it all worse, I can't find a job, so I have no money that I can spend. While I would like to go out to parties, or with the other guys on the floor to eat out downtown for one of their birthday, I end up having to stay back in the dorm because I don't want to spend the measly 500 bucks I have in the bank, in case of trouble. </p>

<p>To summarize: I need to tell my parents that I can't stay in college, but know that I will lose any of their support afterwards... Plus I don't have the money to rent any housing or pay for food. Any suggestions how to handle this situation? Slog through four years of hell just to get a peice of paper in a field I am not interested in? Decide not to and take my chances as a homeless 18 year old looking for a job? I really don't see any good way around my situation, and need serious help.</p>

<p>As a note: I know most of you will simply say that it gets better, focus on academics, or such. I just can't see this getting any better, especially since most people at my college move to an off-campus apartment after freshman year with their friends. Seeing as I doubt I will have any friends I would like to room with next year, I can't see myself being able to do that. I would end up being one of the very few stuck in dorms sophomore year.</p>

2

<p>Hi there,</p>

<p>First of all, you should know that you are not alone in feeling this way. I too often feel like I am not smart enough to find a good job after college, especially after seeing all of the competition that exists. It can be very disheartening. </p>

<p>Also, I have social anxiety disorder, so I can relate to how much it sucks to be friendless. My advice to you would be to stay in school regardless. Even if you don’t think it will do you any good in the future.</p>

<p>The reason for this is that you are fresh out of high school and there aren’t any other opportunities at this point in your life which would fit you better. Getting a college degree almost always increases income to an extent, and I promise you that even though your classmates might suck and your professors might be d-bags and you might feel tired and depressed all the time, you will still learn something useful and you will still grow as a person. </p>

<p>I think you should get a single room with your own bathroom. Especially since your parents can afford it. It will help a lot with the awkwardness and you can be more comfortable with yourself. </p>

<p>In order to make friends, I would suggest picking only one or two clubs that focus on something REALLY important to you, and try going to their meetings a few times. Or, the best thing really for someone with social awkwardness problems is to volunteer. It doesn’t carry the pressure of a job and doesn’t allow for the weirdness of loose social interaction. </p>

<p>As far as the job thing goes, for the moment I would suggest focusing on your health and well-being and on your studies. I know you are young and want to go out but part of college is understanding that things don’t always go the way you want them to but you have to find an outlet for those angry and sad emotions and keep moving along.</p>

<p>Also, if your parents are well-off then try asking them for more spending money. </p>

<p>As far as next year goes, again, I think you should really find a single room or single apartment. Most colleges have both.</p>

3

<p>I am not going to lie to you. It does not always get better. I lived on campus for a semester and hated it with a passion. That is why I am now living with family and commuting. I am not really an outgoing person, so pretending to be one was very hard work! I made plenty of friends, but I never enjoyed talking or hanging out as much as regular people. </p>

<p>I am telling you this story because you sound very similar to me. Is there anyway you would consider commuting to a college that is closer to you house/family? I know this one is too far away, but are there any ones closer? How about getting a single apartment off campus? </p>

<p>In my opinion, you should finish up this semester and see how you feel later. As others have noted, the majority of people end up loving their time on campus. And besides, what would you do without a college degree? Are you interested in going to a vocational school in place of a four year school? All of these questions will need to be addressed, so why not think about them while you finish up this semester. </p>

<p>If this experience is beginning to affect your health, mentally or physically, my answer would be different. But assuming you are just feeling down, I would finish up this semester! Good luck!</p>

4

<p>Where I am from, there isn’t any half-decent public university, and my family and I don’t have the cash for a private close-by.</p>

5

<p>Take the time to really think things out----Is it college that is depressing you or could you be suffering from a true psychological issue? Go to your college’s counseling center and get evaluated.</p>

6

<p>I share some qualities with you Davinitall. I get along with my dormmates, I introduced myself to some of my peers but I get weird feelings of being alone when I am surrounded by lots of people. But I have talked more often than I had in my average days of high school. Here is my advice: Just be yourself. I am still alone often but I feel okay being alone, only when I am surrounded by people I don’t know like in dining halls or parties do I feel uncomfortable. Do talk to professors if they are nice to you, and/or get counseling. I have trouble asking for help, but that is one of the things I need to get over. College isn’t always about how much you put into it (that’s how I see it)</p>