Help...dreading going back for spring semester

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>Ok, this is gonna be a long post, so I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it. A little about me and my current situation...</p>

<p>I'm currently a sophomore at a top 20 national university.
I had an incredible high school experience with a great group of friends.
In college, I have "friends" but they're more like acquaintances. I say hey to them when I walk by them or see them on campus, but I have no one that I go out or hang out with on a consistent basis. My roommate is fine, but we're just roommates, not friends.</p>

<p>I had a horrible freshman year, academically and socially. I thought I was a hot shot cuz I went to a top 20 school, and enrolled in really hard classes. I was premed, and ended up with a 2.2 my first semester. 2nd semester I was still premed and did better, but not good, a 2.85. </p>

<p>I am a very sociable guy, and am a people person, but I do have initial social anxiety. I think everyone is judging me when they meet me for the first time, so I act reserved and quiet until I get to know someone, then I am very social and extroverted. </p>

<p>I go to a very greek life dominant school, which I hate. The social scene is completely dominated by the fraternities and sororities. I tried rushing a fraternity twice, but I did it all wrong. I only looked at one or two, and when they didn't work out it was too late to look at other ones. Now I'm a sophomore and I won't have a chance at rush until next fall, which I feel like is too late. I have tried getting involved in clubs and groups, but honestly none of them interest me besides the ones that are competitive, such as acapella groups and student government, and I am always close to making a singing group or getting elected, but I always just barely don't make it. It just feels like the universe is against me with this school, because I keep trying to get out there and get involved, but nothing ever works out. I just have this feeling that I don't belong. I don't fit into the whole southern frat scene. </p>

<p>But it's very frustrating because there are things I love about the school:
I love the sports scene, especially football season. Tailgating is a lot of fun and the games are even more. I can't imagine leaving that for another school that doesn't have that. </p>

<p>I just feel hopeless at this school. And now I have to go back tomorrow for spring and I am dreading it. I feel like I won't be able to make it another semester without friends. I love breaks so much because I get to be with my family and my amazing friends from high school. And it's so upsetting to think about having to leave that to go back to a school where I am depressed and lonely. I have gone to my school's counseling center and it didn't help at all. They just prescribe medications that don't do anything. </p>

<p>I am thinking about submitting applications for transferring, but there are multiple issues with this. One, there is no way I can get into a school that is on par academically with the one I am at now. I did do much better this semester, I got a 3.35, which brought up my cumulative to a 2.8. But even if I get a 4.0 this next semester, my cumulative would only go up to a 3.15. My parents would never let me go a worse academic school just to have a better social life. And I agree with them, college is for education, and I don't want to give up an amazing education to be socially happy. But it is REALLY hard to wake up every day in college knowing you're gonna do the same boring routine: go to class, come back, sleep, procrastinate on homework and then do it all over again. </p>

<p>The most frustrating part about all of this is I know I would love the school if I had a solid friend group. But half way through your sophomore year, most people have already solidified their friend groups. I just feel so lonely and want to leave so badly, but there is no way I could get into another top 30 school as a junior transfer. And, as a transfer, it might be even harder to make friends because I wouldn't know ANYONE. </p>

<p>Someone please help me. I want to make my current school work, really badly, but I need someone to guide me in the right direction. Thank you to anyone who reads this and replies.</p>

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<p>Find a part time job, volunteer, or start your own club that DOES interest you. Like you said, transferring isn’t really an option. Have you tried visiting your friends from high school on the weekends? Do any of them go to schools near you?</p>

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<p>Halfway through your sophomore year is totally not too late to make friends! I’m a sophomore too, and I befriended a lot of people during the middle of this past fall semester. It’s never too late because there all kinds of people on campus looking for friends just like you are.</p>

<p>Have you found any non-competitive ones you can join just for the social aspect? Any recreational singing groups? I know this may sound weird, but clubs are usually about the people, not the subject. I’m in my uni’s French club and I only go because I like to see my friends and classmates in a non-classroom setting. I barely even know/care what’s going on club-wise. And after you make some friends doing this, you might find that you can leave the club yet keep the friends. </p>

<p>Another thing I’d recommend is getting a part-time job since you can meet and get to know a lot of people that way, but I wouldn’t want you to overwhelm yourself when you’re working on bringing up your GPA. Do you think you could handle a job for 5-10 hours a week? If so, look into it! I got an on-campus job this year and it’s been wonderful. I say this on basically every thread like this because I really feel that an on-campus job helps. I hang out with my co-workers and we have group activities all the time, and it’s a wonderful thing. </p>

<p>As for transferring, finish the year and see what happens. Maybe you’ll get into the school mode and can pull up your GPA. Also, you said you WERE premed. Are you still premed? Or are you looking for a change? Once you find a major, you’ll find that you’ll have classes with some of the same people. You’ll even start to plan it that way once you get going. You can form study groups, have dinner-while-cramming sessions, have coffee-over-notes meetings, and just a ton of social yet academic stuff.</p>

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<p>We’re totally in the same boat. I’m a freshman though, and I feel like I expected college to be totally different. I have those acquaintances too, talk to them in class but don’t hang out outside of school. I’d like to think it’s because they’re busy, but I also think it’s because they don’t want to hang out with me outside of school. My roommate and I get along too, but we’re total opposites. Just like the other posts said, I’d get a job. It’ll distract you from feeling lonely, you’ll be making money, and meet people. But school is a top priority, so only work as many hours you can handle. As for transferring, I’d give the college where you’re at more time, maybe things will get better.</p>

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<p>Always awful to feel like the odd man out. :frowning: All the previous suggestions are good ones…I find it interesting that one of the things that you really love about your school is the sports scene and pre-post game revelry…which I would think are prime social situations ripe with opportunities for friendships. Who are you hanging with on game days?</p>

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<p>Well I dont understand the part about people already having friends. Must be like how Ivy League people do things. I know alot of friends who transferred to Universities and even though they were Sophomores or even Juniors, they could still get friends, especially with Freshman that newly came in that year? Sounds like its a cliquely atmosphere out there. You can hit it off with other Freshman/Sophomores? </p>

<p>Well I mean, I’m saying after you started going there, it’s not like people stopped getting accepted and no one new was coming in semester after semester, or like they came with a set of friends when they did. Unless you go somewhere relatively small.</p>

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<p>I didn’t really make that many good friends until later part of freshmen year, and i’m only a sophomore. I feel like in college, a lot of people make it seem like you have to have many, many friends. But I feel depth is better than breadth. You only need a few good, close friends. I started with some people that had similar interests to me, like we all went to the gym to play ball, etc.</p>

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<p>Ya I’m not too excited to go back really. I only made a few friends, I talked to a bunch of people but I wouldn’t say were friends. </p>

<p>You can always try socializing with different types of people you normally wouldn’t. You’d be surprised how you unexpectedly make friends with people you never thought you could even get along with! </p>

<p>Stay optimistic 2014 is just starting ;D</p>

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<p>I’m having the exact same issue as you. I’m finishing my Spring semester as a sophomore. Honestly, I would keep sifting through the clubs and groups your school offers or try doing something outside school. </p>

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<p>Wow I feel like I could have wrote this myself. I’m in the same situation as you but am a freshman. Nice to know I’m not the only one…</p>