Help for a confused mother...when to arrive

<p>Hey guys,</p>

<p>Perhaps you have discussed this in the past, but there is so much to read and I probably should not be spending too much time reading threads at work, but my daughter will be there for OA (she will fly up). I am trying to make plans to fly there, but as a parent, would you suggest that I fly up for the parent session of OA, or fly up for the Parent Orientation on the 10th. Or should I try to make both and take a week off of work. Any help is truly appreciated as I MUST make flight plans today.</p>

<p>Another mother here. No advice, just a data point. I'm flying from CA with my daughter before OA. Spending a few days in NYC with her at her request (her graduation present from me), then dropping her Sept. 3. Good news, I get the time with her and get the first day at Princeton with her. Bad news, she has to move in by herself as I cannot take more time off and S will be in school so the following weekend she will be on her own.</p>

<p>Thinking about it now if not for the days in NY I would have sent her alone for OA and showed up for the move in later. Oh, my D can't move in before OA because her dorm is being used for summer housing. IF she could have moved in before OA, then I would have kept these plan.</p>

<p>Since I am being wholly incoherent, in summary, be there for move in. The rest is ceremony.</p>

<p>Having done this, let me assure you that whether you arrive for the OA departure or for move-in, you will be in good company. Many parents show up in time for OA departure. At that point you can't help your child move in unless all her roommates are already there, because they don't get to choose their bed or suite room until everyone has arrived. So what will happen is that you will see the room or suite, maybe meet some other parents and students, go to a nice brunch, reception, tour, and series of talks from the deans and student council in the residential college, and then see your child off at OA at Dillon gym. The "drill" is the same at move-in time, except that then you would have the chance to help your child set up her room. </p>

<p>I live close enough that I was willing to come back the second time, but it just didn't seem to make sense (and when I say this, take it in context -- I am a very doting mom who would not hesitate to fly over rooftops, etc.!). There are many students there who are setting up their own rooms, they help one another out, and the orientation events for parents are the same as they are earlier. </p>

<p>A better use of resources, in my experience, would be to come back for Parents' weekend and see your child ensconced, meet the other students, go to the events, etc. </p>

<p>Enjoy this special time.</p>

<p>aparent - thanks! you just took off several parent pounds of guilt from my shoulders....if the kids help each other move in that could actually be a benefit. My daughter has a single. Perhaps her hallmates will help out?</p>

<p>Alumother, suitemates certainly help one another out, and I am sure that hallmates will do so, exchanging decorating ideas and practical info. There are all sorts of get-togethers for the frosh in each residential college at the beginning of school, and the RA's are generally good at helping connect their advisees. At the beginning the frosh tend to go to the dining hall together, like ducklings, since their hallmates are the only people they know. Freshman orientation is a very busy time, because it's short and students need to complete all sorts of forms, buy books, and go to all sorts of meetings, etc., and the various student organizations are already reaching out to them, encouraging them to join. I can't imagine a frosh sitting around pining for mom...sigh, those days are over. ;)</p>

<p>P.S. Alumother, since your daughter has a single, and since you are arriving at OA departure and spending a day with your d, it seems to me that if you wanted to and you arrived early enough in the day, you could help her move in, at least partially. She won't have to wait for anybody else to arrive. For me the big ritual is setting up the bed; I don't know about you. You'd go off to orientation, but you'd have time to do a little bit, anyway.</p>

<p>Unfortunately Bloomberg is one of the dorms where move-in is not allowed until Orientation because it's being used for summer housing...:(</p>

<p>You guys are wonderful. Thanks for the guidance. Cannot wait to meet you there.</p>

<p>Any ideas from students? When would you want your mother there and when would you not? (I suppose some of you might say neither, but this is an endearing time for us "ole foggies". </p>

<p>Waiting to hear.</p>

<p>Oidder</p>

<p>Oh, gee, Alumother. On the bright side, Bloomberg is a gorgeous dorm. Your d is going to love it! </p>

<p>Oidder, just to clarify, I left it open with my d, who is openly very fond of our time together and enjoys these family rituals. When we carried in her stuff at OA, I told her I was willing to come back and actually left it up to her; when the time came she felt it was not necessary. I suspect that for some kids, possibly including her, saying goodbye twice is kinda hard...But it will be interesting to hear other kids' viewpoints.</p>

<p>Well, since you took my first answer...:p Yeah, I told my parents not to come until after OA, so that's what they're doing. It just seemed to make more sense to me, but that's totally individual preference.</p>

<p>I'm not doing OA, but if I were, I think I'd rather have them around for move-in. Seems like there will be more people there then, and perhaps more time to spend with parents?</p>

<p>My mom is coming after OA for orientation, mostly because we're coming in from overseas and she can't come in both dates, nor is she willing to stay a week by herself waiting for me to finsh OA. We figured that freshman orientation week would also give some opportunities for some dorm shopping (since some of the presentations aren't mandatory).</p>

<p>Typically those who arrive first pick the first bed. It isn't supposed to happen that way, but it does. Just from my experience ...</p>