help for my daughter

Parents Forum
21

I think that colleges overall are looking for kids who will do well at their school. If her grades are poor and her attendance is dismal in high school, I think they can assume that the same will be true in college-- regardless of the reasons. They don’t know the applicants; all they have is numbers and essays and letters of recommendation.

I think the first plan of attack is to find a doctor or a treatment that will ameliorate the medical issue. First and foremost because you daughter needs and deserves a resolution to the problem. And secondly because then she can say “here’s what was wrong but it’s no longer an issue.”

That’s asking a lot in a relatively short time span, I realize. And I assume you’re being as aggressive as you can to get her relief.

So I would encourage her to cast a wide net-- apply to schools where she’s likely to be accepted, as well as some of those reaches she has her eye on. But I would absolutely work with her to find some matches and safeties where she can be happy— even if for a year or two until her stats improve and make her a more likely candidate for transfer down the road.

22

I had a roommate in college who had migraines and found them extremely difficult to cope with at college because of the inflexibility of the academic requirements. Holding down a job was much easier.

But that was a long time ago. I don’t know what it’s like today. It might be worth spending some time finding out. Your daughter might want to talk with the admissions (and disability) people at a local college or two – not necessarily a college that she really wants to attend – to get a general idea of how students manage.

23

The Americans with Disabilities Act was passed in 1990 and ensures some flexibility from schools and professors in the form of accommodations such as single room, reduced course load (with aid covering the extra semesters), extensions on papers and projects, note takers, postponed exams, a separate exam room, changes in lighting and others.

First priority is dealing with migraines medically, and a university neurology department with a doctor specializing in women’s migraines would be best. I am not assuming that this hasn’t been done, since some people have migraines that are resistant to treatment. It takes time to try various meds of course.

Many students with migraines can do well in high school if properly accommodated. If a migraine is continuous and chronic, then attending school is very difficult of course.Still, it is possible to set something up whereby teachers fill out a sheet (every day, whether the student is there or not) with homework assigned, classwork done, grades missing, etc. with notes attached, so that the student can go in and out of school as needed, even within the same day.

Online classes provide a lot of flexibility but the high school should be providing it too.

24

For anyone really struggling with migraines, I have found a solution in Angela Stanton’s Stanton Migraine Protocol. It boils down to hydration and diet. It’s not an easy solution (food tracking and complete compliance, blood sugar testing and tracking) but espcially for those really struggling, its worth a try. I have had migraines for 40 years, and even just getting started on the protocol (meaning taking the first steps by increasing my water intake to 9 cups a day) broke the daily migraine cycle I had been in for a few weeks.

That said, over my lifetime I’ve had other “cures” that have worked for periods of 6 months to 1.5 years…including preventatives (verapamil, Topamax), vitamins (fish oil and AHA, magnesium), cleaning up the diet (Whole 30), just eliminating nuts and chocolate, to name some things that have worked for me over the years. I believe in the Stanton Migraine protocol and have had success, but I cannot say it has eliminated my migraines completely, due to my own compliance.

25

Every brain is different. You have to try a lot of things and not get too sidetracked at the same time.

26

What does your daughter want to do? Is she frustrated trying to keep up with school while dealing with migraines? Would a health break between HS and college let her focus on different treatments.

27

Migraines are a neurological event. Not necessarily even involving a headache. Curious how neck cracks helped.

I get migraines with no pain. Half the newspaper I am reading will disappear. Wavy electric lines. That kind of thing. Kind of a weird sensation but not pain. A couple of times I went blind.

On the other hand my daughter would spend hours in the ER in excruciating pain.

It is good to do a full evaluation in case it is something else. For instance, lupus can cause headache. So can Lyme.

The problem with migraines and school is that there is a recovery period of 2-3 days. If you break your leg, you can power through work, but if your brain is having problems, it is counterproductive to do mental work. That prolongs recovery.

Getting work done in advance helps but you need enough of a break in between migraines to do that.

It is possible to take a medical leave from high school too.

28

I understand your frustration but you need to not look at this as a rejection of your daughter’s intelligence and more a reality that a kid living at home, struggling to thrive in high school for medical reasons may be too big a risk for competitive colleges that are already going to have to reject hundreds and thousands of capable kids due to space.

Community college and transfer is a great option and hopefully the migraines can be quieted by then. It gives your daughter the best chance at success.

29

One of my Ds had this exact thing. In our state a kid sees a pediatrician until age 18. The same doctor that takes care of infants takes care of young women. Nuts. The pediatrician told her to take Excedrin migraine, and it never worked well.

I found a primary care doctor who specialized in women’s health and scheduled a physical for her on 1 day after her 18th birthday, the earliest the insurance or the practice would allow it. The very next migraine a few weeks later, I called the doctor, in her pitch black dark room, D gave the doc permission to talk to me. She told me to bring her in as bad as she feels. She administered sumatriptan by injection and the migraine was gone shortly. This was done in the doctor’s office. She had to be there to make sure there was no adverse reaction. She gave her a prescription telling her it only works if you take it at the very onset of the symptoms. When it works, it’s very quick. They’ve been well manged ever since as long as she’s had the medication handy.

30

If migraines are frequent, you want to do a preventative medication daily.

31

What do you call a bad GPA? What are her test scores? What colleges is she interested in?
In her cases, two types of colleges would be most appropriate:

  • colleges with a low student:teacher ratio (college professors can be flexible when their class has 14 or 20 students whom they know well and can see in office hours twice a week to catch them up, not when they have 300 who are split into groups with different TA’s and scheduled scantron exams).
  • colleges, even large, that are known for excellent disability resources and support
32
  1. What is her GPA?
  2. What are her test scores?
  3. Which schools she wants?
  4. 504 Plan was not enough to support her in her high school. What makes you think that colleges will provide more? I mean she maybe able to avoid all morning classes, excused from enrollment requirement, etc. But the materials has to be studied somehow. Labs has to be taken. Exams need to be prepared and assignments should be completed. How can it be done with dismal attendance?
33

However attendance issues could be alleviated in college IF they are regular: ie., migraines typically come 8-12, or right after lunch - in college, you have the freedom to avoid scheduling things during those times (and with good disability support services you should have a right to AND an alternative). This isn’t possible in high school.

34

Or attendance could matter much more in college. Missing one high school class a week is only 20% of that week, but it could easily be 50% of the college matter if the college class meets 2x per week

35

Does stress exacerbate the migraines? Some find all the transition during freshman year quite stressful.

36

To give your D the best chance for success in college, the migraines have to first be under control and migraine days per month minimized. If that means she takes a gap year, or a few classes per semester at a CC, then so be it. You are right it’s not fair, but it’s what is.

I am sure you have/are still pursuing effective treatment(s), and that can be a long road with migraine treatment and prevention. I don’t presume what you have already accomplished, but highly recommended your D sees a migraine specialist, one who is also involved in research. Treating chronic migraine is above and beyond the capabilities of a pediatrician, primary care provider and even some neurologists. There are 3 new preventive meds on the market, perhaps one of those could be effective. Your D may need to try many different meds, in varying doses, combinations or cycles to find something that works for her. Good luck

37

I agree with others:

  1. Colleges want students who can succeed. They use info/data from HS to determine that. It might not be fair, but if she has untreated migraines in college it wouldn’t be different.
  2. Get her treated for migraines…there is a new shot (Aimovig) for migraines that you could talk to her doctor about.
  3. Then perhaps have her start at community college…maybe not even takinga full load. If she does well with 2 courses then add more.
  4. After two years of CC, transfer to a 4 year school…usually one of your public colleges/U as they take the most credits from CC.
  5. Yes, you and she may have to mourn the fact that she can’t go t owhatever college she wants…but really just getting a degree is 80% of what she needs.
38

Also there are a LOT of smaller less well ranked colleges all over the USA that will accept your daughter with a relatively low GPA, so I am not sure why she is giving up, just because her favorite is out of reach. Simply aim lower
if you can afford a 4 year college, believe it will be beneficial to her, and she wants to try it. It really depends on your funds whether she needs to start with a community college. But I don’t know that very low ranked colleges will give her what she needs academically. What does she want to study? What is your in state flagship? Does she have any chance to get into a 4 year college with her GPA?

As far as headaches, she might benefit from acupuncture. Try new treatments, decide if its a hormonal headache and then she needs a strategy on how to cope, how to keep up, when she is missing class. Can she get the notes, study ahead, when she is well? She can cope with this both with treatments and a strategy.

If its too debilitating for her to attend college away from home, then you have your answer, community college. But assess her health and her grades and her goals.

39

Exactly. It may not seem “fair”, but this process isn’t about what is “fair” to the applicant. Is it fair to the school to take a student who may have a barrier to success? Is it “fair” to another applicant who is equally qualified but does not have the challenging medical issue? Agree that if the migraines affected attendance/performance in the past but were well controlled now and her health and attendance were stable, that would be explainable in the supplemental section of the app. But if the migraines are still problematic and unstable and causing continued significant attendance issues, then applying to top schools away from home may be ill advised at present.

As I mentioned earlier, medical accommodations can be considered by colleges after the school is admitted (there are a few schools that have co-existing strong programs for students with disabilities -typically these are for learning or attention issues, and for which there is a separate and simultaneous application) but for most schools (and this has been tested with litigation) a student has to be “otherwise qualified” for admission before accommodations will be considered. Schools will not modify their admission requirements for a student.

40

Many avenues to try" Topamax, Depakote (often avoided by young women), Lamictal, Diamox, Amitryptilene, B2, B6, folate, T3, bioidential progesterone, Reglan, Imitrix, caffeine, prednisone, butterbur, feverfew, Migracap (like bathing cap with ice). Hormones may be the culprit and can be addressed by a neuro specializing in that area.

It is possible to make high school quite flexible with accommodations that allow the student to go in and out of school (as described earlier), also using online classes for added flexibility. It is possible for kids with migraines or any medical issue to go to college and function well with accommodations as long as the accommodations don’t “cause undue financial or administrative burden” or “substantially change the academic program.”

I know one young woman who got through college using a tv screen instead of a computer screen, a technology-driven accommodation available at her college.

If it is too much of a struggle to attend college right away, there are many continuing education, adult learner, distance learning and low residency programs that allow a student to take just one or two classes at a time. And many universities have this option as well. Online courses avoid needing to attend at certain times.

Regardless of whether or not a student can go to school at the current time, it is essential to get relief from suffering.

It is important too to make sure it is a migraine you are dealing with, which I am sure has been done.

Sometimes a functional medicine or integrative medicine provider can give some insights as well.