<p>My S is a sophomore in HS, but his girlfriend is a senior. She has been awarded an amazing scholarship (full ride) at a very good school in another state 750 miles away. She had entered a competition and it was a long shot but she won.</p>
<p>Lately she has been getting very nervous and talking about staying here and attending our local university. It's a good, in-state school, but is not selective and since she just applied for admission she missed the deadline for the best scholarships.</p>
<p>Her mom called me and is concerned about how to handle this - she doesn't want to pressure her daughter into going away to take the full-ride, but wants to support her to help her make the right decision for herself.</p>
<p>I have talked to my son, and he's said he's trying to stay out of it - be supportive, but not tell her what to do.</p>
<p>She is very, very quiet and shy and academically brilliant. She is close to her parents and is an only child.</p>
<p>She has also applied to the same school where my D attends (she's a freshman in college and is also a friend) but that school is 1300 miles away. She doesn't know if she'll get in yet (I'm thinking she has a good chance) and what her financial aid might be (we have full-need met; I don't know if they will qualify for full-need but they might).</p>
<p>Anyway, any suggestions/advice on how to help her? I know it's natural to be apprehensive about the future. My daughter, who is VERY independent, admitted that even SHE got a little nervous and scared and homesick at the beginning of her school year (she didn't know a soul/had never set foot on campus before she moved in/was 1300 miles away). And this girl is a timid little mouse in comparison.</p>
<p>It would be very sad if she’s only thinking of declining and staying “in-state” because her boyfriend will be in-state.</p>
<p>As for being timid…does the GF’s future school have any programs/activities scheduled for a week or so before fall classes begin? If so, she should participate in those. They are great ice-breakers and a great way to make new friends.</p>
<p>Well, some 30+ years ago, I was faced with the dilemma of going away to school or staying local.
My wise mother told me to 'Go and try it, if you don’t like it you can come home. You won’t spend your life wondering ‘What if?’
I went, stayed and met H there.</p>
<p>I don’t think her hesitation is only because of the boyfriend thing - my husband is unemployed and there is a possibility we could move (if he ever gets offered a job somewhere!) - and she is aware of this. And we happen to have family fairly close to the scholarship school, and have already told my son that we could visit in the future.</p>
<p>Thanks, mominva - that’s very helpful and would probably be a comfort to her. I will share this with her mom.</p>
<p>She did visit the campus this summer after she received her scholarship. When I talked to her mom, she said they have a good program in place to integrate new students at the beginning of school.</p>
<p>I agree with the advice…you can always choose to come home later.</p>
<p>That fab scholarship will NOT be offered later…I hope they realize that! It’s a one time offer. She can’t go local and then expect it to be there for her later.</p>
<p>Agreed. Try it for a year and if she doesn’t like it, the door at home is always open. Especially if she’s an only child, she’s probably nervous about leaving her parents, her support structure, and her bf all in one go. It’s a scary thing for sure, especially if she’s not naturally outgoing (to put it mildly). It’s too good of an opportunity not to at least try. She may end up hating it, but better that she should give it a shot and she may surprise herself most of all.</p>