<p>"immutable aphorism that those things which we obtain easily are frequently overlooked"
Whoa! Wordy! All of these words are great in an otherwise concise and simple sentence... but together, they muddle things up. It's difficult to tell exactly what you mean. I know that it's difficult to cure yourself of SAT-Word-Fever (I used to insert as many long words as a I could into my essays, too), but TRUST ME. You'll get a better score if you use these types off words sparingly!</p>
<p>Also, once again, try to use some examples other than literary ones. I think that you were pushing it with Sylvia Plath- your example didn't really make much sense... or, you didn't justify how the prompt relates to her life very well. What I'm trying to say is- I understand what you were TRYING to say... but you were very wordy and didn't get to the point, so your essay didn't prove anything to me.</p>
<p>Try to use some historical examples. SAT graders seem to like those =P</p>