<p>Ok, I have already submitted my entire application Brown University and I would just like a random person to read the essays I have submitted and give me feedback on how they are percieved - I figure that they will be read by a random person anyways so why not start here :-). </p>
<p>OK for the main common app essay I chose option four (the one abt the fictional character of influence and describing that influence). I chose Pip from Great Expectations as my character of influence. Here is the essay.... </p>
<p>Pips struggle to become a gentleman and subsequent fall from grace is the premise of Charles Dickenss Great Expectations. Pips objective was to win the heart of the compassionless Estella, but Pip focused too heavily on superficial concerns, becoming as lifeless as the possessions he acquired. Inevitably, he was bereft of family and friends, debt ridden, and did not even get Estella as consolation. Pip lacked a personal compass to guide him to his aspirations, and lost sight of his origins. Unlike Pip however, I am constantly reminded by many to not forget my roots. Which begs the question, where do I come from exactly? I hail from a quaint, rural Southern California town dubbed the Friendly Village. But this is just where I have spent a majority of my childhood; I have also lived in Hawaii, North Carolina, and Madrid, Spain. As a result, I want a college experience that will allow me to live quite a distance from home. Of course, people ask me why I would want to leave such a beautiful place bathed in perpetual sunshine. I struggled to form a response that captures my motives, but now I have an encompassing response: I want to expand who I am, and if confronted with new situations, I can simply adjust.
However, when I hear the do not forget where you come from remark from my mother, those words convey a more meaningful and complex message. Though my mother has reiterated this phrase in various forms, she always means that just because I am becoming well-read, know a few snazzy words, and am capable of handling a rigorous class schedule, I am no better than anyone else. I always knew that I would never be superior to any one person simply due to a few academic factors, and my mothers prophetic cautions became more of a reality while reading Charles Dickenss, Great Expectations. Both my mothers concerns and Dickenss novel have emphasized the importance of humility. Without a dose of humility, I risk developing a me centered focus, which, as I have seen from Pips own experiences, is a component in an equation for self-destruction.<br>
Despite the two centuries between Pip and me, we are not so dissimilar. We both come from rural locations and similar families; without wealth or a privileged education. Unlike Pip, I am content with saying that my family is normal. However, I have the opportunity to set a new trend of normalcy for my family by being the first to attend college. My family is proud of what I have accomplished thus far and wholeheartedly supports my aspirations. Yet, I sense a sentiment of concern when they hear me talk of what I want to accomplish in the near future. Though I do not speak of outlandish or fanciful goals, I perceive that my parents fear I will be like the sugar-deprived child left unattended in the candy store. I will become too consumed with new opportunities and excessiveness, lose sight of my intentions, and metaphorically crash and burn.<br>
I respect and consider my parents concerns, but because of my upbringing I am confident in my ability to distinguish between right and wrong, knowing when to refrain from distractions, and when to put in a little more effort into my endeavors. Because of my parents I will never look down on someone for their lack of education, vocation or income, and I will use Pip as a cautionary tale. Therefore, I view myself as a well-prepared blank canvas ready to continue creating who I am still becoming. Furthermore, I could never disregard my origins since I am a hodgepodge myself a child of the rural, urban, American, and international backgrounds and to deny a dimension of myself would only serve to diminish my seventeen years of multi faceted experiences. </p>
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<blockquote> <blockquote> <p>Now, here is the Brown Supplement Essay. I chose the prompt "What is the piece of advice you have been given and why?" Here it is.... </p> </blockquote> </blockquote>
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<p>One day, while eating frozen yogurt at the local yogurt parlor, my eyes roamed the room and I came across a piece of paper that had been laminated and taped to the wall. The title was bolded and read, Best Advice I Have Been Given. Before the list began, its author stated that they had compiled this list on the eve of their fiftieth birthday. I curiously scanned the list, nodding in agreeance, and recognizing many familiar maxims. But then my eyes came upon this: Do not befriend someone who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter. This piece of advice caught my eye and seemed to have such a profound insight that went beyond its concise wording.<br>
I thought about this advice periodically for the next several days, and I finally framed my understanding of this recommendation. I concluded that if a person is affable to me, but unjustifiably rude to a complete stranger, then that person is not a truly kind individual. Rather, they are superficial and phony. Furthermore, if that person can so easily disregard someone else, how could such a friend be loyal to me?<br>
I then thought about where I live, Fallbrook, California. I realized that although the people here are cordial, I have seen and experienced too much gossip and cruelty that serve to prove that the slogan The Friendly Village is a misnomer. In Fallbrook, the weather is generally sunny, but the weather is also variable from day to day; this alludes to how the sunny people here pick and choose how to treat people. Such treatment is influenced based upon someones supposed awesomeness, clique, church going status, and, sadly, their income bracket. I feel that one should be initially kind to all, and if you do not particularly care for someone do not put yourself in a position to be close to them . The best policy I have for social interaction is being courteously frank; I am sincere and mean what I say, and if I have a concern with a person I address that person.<br>
I have concluded that it is my responsibility to be self-aware of how I treat others, whether it is a friend or an acquaintance. Since, a first impression serves as a prelude to the kind of relationship I will develop with a person. Furthermore, I am pleasantly perplexed that one of the best pieces of advice I have received came from a person I will most likely never meet advising me to let a persons actions tell a story of a thousand words of who they truly are. This revelation has made me certain in my desires to leave my hometown for college to seek like minded and intellectually passionate individuals, because I believe that such a place is where I would be most fulfilled. For such reasons, it would be an honor to be a member of the class of 2015 and the 248th class to enter at Brown University. </p>
<p>Here are the shorts and answer essays from the Brown Supplement as well.... </p>
<p> Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply? </p>
<p>Brown University, from what I have learned, is home to independent, yet open-minded thinkers. For me, this is an ideal combination for academic growth. Moreover, what is most alluring is the student body; it is virtually as diverse as the biodiversity found on a coral reef. And so, no majority dominates the student body, rather there is a wide array of minorities united under the umbrella of the Brunonians. I anticipate both loving and reveling in these next four years. Loving all of the new people to be met and the world renowned education I will receive, and reveling in the many nights I expect to be studying and burning the midnight oil in the John Carter and John Hay Libraries. Finally, I was intrigued to apply to Brown through my own research and inquiry. Then my uncle George was talking to me about colleges and said, I think you and Brown would be a good match, I just have a feeling. So, out of interest, support, and preparation, I am anxiously ready for what awaits at Brown. </p>
<p> Why are you drawn to the academic fields you indicated in the Anticipated Degree and Academic Interest questions above? </p>
<p>From a young age, I never paid much attention to Economics. It had been stereotyped as dismal, so I would merely glaze over when an Economist on the news would speak of unemployment and future prospects. Yet during my sophomore year, Mr. Kettering, the teacher I will surely never forget, would go on insightful tangents about Economics. I was initially lost as to what was being discussed, but his describing of the conflicts between Austrian and Keynesian Economics led me to do my own research. Economics then became a curiosity of mine, and I kept self-educating. Mr. Kettering truly inspired my pursuit of Economics. As for Biology, I have realized that I have a natural ability with this field of science, and have had two phenomenal teachers, Mr. Fischer and Mr. Saltamachio, that have greatly aided me in advancing my understanding of Biology. And it is fascinating; to look at a person and be aware of what is occurring at the organismal and molecular levels. </p>
<p>I know this was a lot of reading but any input would be nice. To be honest, I am just nervous about having t now wait for the next four months to hear back for RD at one of my top choices. Thank you to those who reply.
-S</p>