Help me find a college for my bright but not doing stellar son

Parents Forum
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<p>Okay, this is my first post, so be gentle!</p>

<p>My son is a sophomore in high school. He is quite bright, and qualified for the Johns Hopkins CTY program which he attended for four years. However, in high school he is doing just okay. Sometimes I think it's because he doesn't want to do certain things that very motivated kids do, even though he sometimes claims that he really is working as hard as he can. For instance, this year he is taking honors Chemistry and he is having a bit of a hard time. Some kids are forming study groups but he claims he's not "that type of kid" and also will not go in and spend time with the teacher because he thinks it's brown-nosing. However, I did just get him a tutor which has helped. So, I don't think he is necessarily lazy, but he feels constrained by his social group in some ways.</p>

<p>He plays high school football and does shotput in the winter, and is also the treasurer of his grade, an elected position. He does all of the public speaking for the grade, and in fact, his Chemistry teacher told me a story about how the second day of school, the grade had an assembly, and several teachers were trying to tell the kids to quiet down. The, my son stood up to talk and the whole place was quiet in five seconds. The teacher said to me that he said to himself, "Wow, this kid is a leader...." He has an incredible sense of humor, and gets along well with everyone.</p>

<p>He GPA is only a 3.2 at this point. He is in double accelerated math (so, pre-calc this year) but Chem is his only honors course...he took three honors courses last year (English/Bio/Algebra II) and decided it was too much pressure. I don't know how he will do on the SATs, but probably fairly well if his scores for the CTY program are any evidence of that. But he is pretty much out of the running for competitive schools due to his GPA. I think he would do great at a good state school, but he doesn't even think he would be able to get into his favorite, Michigan, with the GPA he has. (Our naviance program indicates kids at our high school that have been accepted there have at least a 3.5...we are out of state.)</p>

<p>I just don't want him to end up at a school that is below his ability level, because I have a feeling that at some point he will whip himself into shape and start performing really well (I know that's what happened to me!)...and also, I don't think he'll be motivated at the wrong school. </p>

<p>I hope I'm making sense.</p>

<p>He thinks he wants a small school because he is used to bantering with teachers and used to using his personality in class...but I'm afraid a small school might stifle him because he needs a lot of people/activities around.</p>

<p>I'm posting today because he is starting to get a lot of college mail (mostly from colleges I have never heard of!) and is actually starting to think about it now for the first time.</p>

<p>I hope you all don't think it's stupid to ask for recommendations for a kid that I have tried to summarize in a few sentences. Thanks for any advice!!</p>

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<p>TYFT,
Your kid sounds great. There are lots of great places where he will shine and thrive. I think a place in the 2500-5000 student range will offer the smaller class size and professor interaction but not be too stifling. You will hear lots of info about 'fit' and I firmly believe that 'fit' is very important, but very child-specific.
Best of luck on your journey.</p>

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<p>I don't know at all what geographic area you're in or what your son is interested in academically, but I would suggest American University in Washington DC (I go there now). </p>

<p>Its a great school academically, and its a really good size. Just by going to class and getting out of your dorm, you meet a lot of people and you get familiar with most of the people you see around campus. At the same time, its a very active campus, so you can definitely get involved/participate in a variety of activities. Plus, classes tend to be pretty small, so you can really develop relationships with professers. </p>

<p>And just as a side note, from how you describe your son, I think he'd enjoy the professer-student dynamic in college. In HS, theres definitely a certain "brown-noser" type stigma about talking to teachers/developing realtionships with them. College is really the opposite and I think your son will find a lot of opportunities to sit around and chat/argue with/debate with his professers.</p>

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<p>My daughter's grades went way up junior year because she had the epiphany between soph and junior year that they actually matter! Maybe that will happen to your son too; I'm sure his SATs will be good if he did CTY and there are a lot of colleges that would love to accept a kid with high SATs, B plus grades and lots of leadership qualities!</p>

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<p>I'd be thinking about quality schools with a gender imbalance. Always think "reverse commute" to maximize his chances.</p>

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<p>Your son sounds like my younger two--very bright, a lot of EQ, and late bloomers when it comes toplaying the academic games that come naturally to some other kids.</p>

<p>My DS#2 is a freshman in the honors program at the University of Denver and getting very high grades for the first time in his life. He just didn't fit the academic paradigm in our high acheiving high school. Most of the kids in our high school are very bright... but to level the playing ground, a lot of the teachers would give points for things like notebook checks, study cards, and paper re-writes and as my son didn't do those things he didn't get A's (freshman honors English: son got 100% on vocabulary pre-test; teacher wanted kids to do flashcards to learn vocabulary; son says unnecessary busywork and loses points; son gets 100% on vocab test; son doesn't organize notebook with vocab lists, dictionary work(3d grade?) and ziploc of flashcards, and loses points).</p>

<p>He loves the school. Small, interactive classes, a lot going on in the city, bright and ambitious kids who maybe weren't straight A students in high school, tons of extracurriculars.</p>

<p>He also really like Indiana University in Bloomington but decided the school was just too big for him.</p>

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<p>I just want to let you guys know how much I really really appreciate all this input. Please keep the suggestions coming!</p>

<p>We are in the Northeast if that helps...it would be nice if he wasn't too far from home but in the end whatever he wants is what we want. </p>

<p>As far as getting into an honors program at a state school as boysx3's son did...is that even possible with a GPA like his? I know he had looked at Penn State's honors program admissions requirements and it also looked like you needed a 3.5 to even consider it...</p>

<p>Curmudgeon, are there really schools out there with a gender imbalance in favor of boys?</p>

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<p>A lot of liberal arts schools favor guys, and they also tend to have smaller classes with more professor/student interaction. And I also think they're more friendly to students who like to learn but don't necessarily like busy work.</p>

<p>(Erm. Yes, short post... but hopefully still helpful.)</p>

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<p>Look for the gender imbalance that makes him special......too many girls. Look at the numbers at Vassar and Goucher and Elon just for starters at different levels of selectivity. IMO Being a male at Vassar is worth a few tenths GPA, as is being a female at Columbia Fu if everything else is stellar, and it seems that it might be in your son's case. Use what you've got.;)</p>

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<p>My advice is: chill. I would gently remind your son that grades are important for college, and that college admissions do like to see a rising trend in GPA -- so your son's performance for the rest of this year and next year will be more important to college admission than his 9th grade GPA.</p>

<p>Aside from that -- 10th grade is too early. Neither of my kids started narrowing down their college search until the summer before their senior year. The fact that your son is getting college mail and starting to think about this is great -- but I'd suggest letting those brochures work their magic without adding parental concerns to the mix. Wait for your son to come to you -- if he mentions a college that he likes, that's a good opening for discussion -- but it is very premature to start trying to narrow things down. </p>

<p>On the other hand, now would be a very good time for YOU -- on your own -- to start learning about college costs, financing, and financial aid. If you are not rich, then you may be in for some surprises as you learn more about that aspect of college -- and you will be much better able to advise and guide your son a year from now if you have a good understanding of what you can afford, what you expect from him, and how that might impact his options.</p>

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<p>Look at Humboldt State University . . . humboldt.edu</p>

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<p>There is hope:
Same issues with my son throughout high school. Doesn't like busywork. Got C's in AP classes and 4's and 5's on the AP exams. Very high PSAT and SAT, but GPA hovered around 3.0.</p>

<p>Fast forward- now a freshman in a small LAC that fits. Seminar style classes. He is doing quite well,..... and he's happy.</p>

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<p>I'm impressed that your sophomore likes getting all the college mail. Mine just rolls his eyes at it. He qualified for CTY, but his PSAT scores were great in verbal, but much less so in math and writing. He's a student with grades ranging from C+ (Latin and Chem) to A+ (History and Orchestra). Too early to know where he'll end up, but I imagine he'll be looking at similar schools to your son. I wouldn't push to hard at this point, but one book you might want to look at is Colleges that Change Lives. There are schools out there that will take a chance on B students with great scores.</p>

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<p>In support of Curmudgeon's very excellent point, there was a remarkable Op-Ed piece on March 23, 2006 written by Jennifer Delahunty Britz, Dean of Admissions at Kenyon College entitled "To All the Girls I've Rejected." It caused quite a stir at the time. If I wasn't such a computer doofus, I'd post the link. </p>

<p>The short answer, TooYongForThis, is yes, there are a great many schools that will give your son preference in admission simply because he is a boy.</p>

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<p>Have you and he actually visited a few colleges that might appeal? Sitting in on the Info Session and hearing out of the speaker's mouth what it takes to get into the school(s) could have an impact.</p>

<p>I know your boy knows the facts, but some kids do get a type of wake up call on these visits, especially when they picture themselves on the campus and start to want it more.</p>

<p>Just a thought.</p>

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<p>There are challenging courses of study at almost every college in the country. This young man sounds like he has a lot to offer a college. BUT at the same time he also sounds like he is having some growing pains. I would look for schools with a large variety of courses and majors. Once he finds a course of study that piques his interest, he will probably perk up. But in the meantime, I personally think he would benefit from the opportunity to look at a LOT of options. You don't say where you are from, but what is the matter with the flagship U in your state? </p>

<p>In addition, he has two years in which to rise that GPA. I would look seriously at his courseload. He wants to take a challenging course of study BUT he also wants to do well. There is a balance there.</p>

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<p>Hampshire sounds like a good option. Small, individualized, lots of great intelligent kids who don't fit the norm, with tons of other colleges and activities 10-30 minutes away, and close to home.</p>

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<p>I'm not going to suggest a college, but just to add to the other parents who have sons like yours. I am one also. There are threads devoted to the topic of these boys. My son is now a freshman in college and GPA-wise doing better than in high school for many of the same reasons given by others. My son ended HS with about a 3.4. He likes his college choice. He likes picking classes. He likes the relationship between the profs and the students in college better. He likes crafting his own schedule time-wise. My son, too, was well liked in high school, played varsity sports and also took the difficult path with APs etc. but rebelled against busy work and intensely disliked the grad grubbers and the kids who cheated all the time for grades. I think on some level he was just "burned out" on high school. His ACT/SAT scores were higher than his unweighted GPA in a sense. Kids would say about my son that he was really smart and he was really laid back. Because of his birth date he was one of the older kids in his class which I think with boys makes a difference, too. He was ready to leave home and looked forward to it. Michigan is certainly getting difficult and they hold the OSS kids to a higher standard, but Michigan only looks at Sophomore and Junior year unweighted GPA so next year will be more telling in terms of the potential for acceptance at Michigan.</p>

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<p>A couple of things--he's too young to be concerned/interested in all of this college "stuff" yet. Next year you can start college visits so he can get a feel for big/small, city/suburban, etc. Then you can start to focus on schools that fit his interests. There are a lot of good schools in New England to visit. Also, you will notice the higher female to male ratio in most of the liberal arts colleges. Don't worry, as he matures he'll be more concerned with his grades and getting into a school that he wants to go to.</p>

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<p>Here's the article which was earlier mentioned: <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/23/opinion/23britz.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/23/opinion/23britz.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>