help me with this sentence and you will be loved!

College Essays
1

<p>IS THIS SENTENCE GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT:
"In fact, I found myself sharing treasured pieces from my personal journal during many of the group’s meetings, something I never imagined doing!"
(i'm just not sure if "something i never imagined doing" can be added with a comma.)</p>

2

<p>it just reads awkwardly
you want your essay to read as smoothly as possible</p>

3

<p>Maybe you could try:</p>

<p>“In fact, I was surprised to find myself sharing treasured pieces from my personal journal during many of the group’s meetings.”</p>

<p>Does that work in the context of your essay? I personally feel it reads better. I don’t think it’s a good idea to have a sentence with as many commas as the one you have had… unless it contains an appositive. You could use a dash (–) before “something I never imagined myself doing”… but I recommend just working “surprised” or a similar word into your sentence.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

4

<p>I actually think it sounds fine… ^^ Just me though.I dont particularly like Hopeful_Underdog’s correction because it sounds wayy too much like a run on sentence- there’s no punctuation or anything to divide it, you just get it in one big chunk…</p>

5

<p>try a dash to connect: “–something i never imagined doing!”</p>

6

<p>My humble suggestion:</p>

<p>In fact, I found myself doing something I never imagined I would, sharing treasured pieces from my personal journal (during many of the group’s meetings).</p>

<p>Perhaps during the group’s meetings can be assumed from context?</p>

7

<p>i suggest a hyphen instead of a comma.</p>

8

<p>I’m kinda into ellipses (just to add in another option for you).
So it would read: In fact, I found myself sharing treasured pieces from my personal journal [I kinda don’t see the need for “personal.” I would assume a journal would be personal…and it just makes it more wordy]. during many of the group’s meetings…something I never imagined doing!
However, I think the sentence is a bit awkward in itself. Try altering it a bit.</p>

9

<p>I surprised (shocked?) myself by sharing treasured pieces from my personal journal during many of the group’s meetings.</p>