Help Me!

My child will not work of her applications. She has done nothing this summer and I am desperate for her to get work done. How can I get her to do work without pushing her too much?
Thanks,
Parent

What do you mean? Colleges simply want people capable of handling their classwork as demonstrated by transcript and scores. What does she like?

This simply isn’t a stepping stone to college. This choice isn’t something you strategize. What gave you THAT idea?

The interest she’s more interested in. Really.

Are you trying to decide what courses she should register for in high school, or what extracurriculars she should do, or what major she should specify on her college apps, or something else? Your question is not clear. Regardless, she should do what interests her, not what you may think gives her a better chance of getting into college.

My kids started their common apps and essays in late August/early September and had no issues completing their applications through the fall. Your student has plenty of time, but should get started now, putting together a list of safety, match, and reach schools (from both financial and admissions perspectives) to apply to, if not completed already.

If you still need/plan to visit any colleges, schedule that now. If your student need to take any SAT/ACT tests and needs to practice/prep, schedule all of that now.

If you are seeking merit aid, review requirements and scholarship application deadlines now, which are often much earlier (October/November) than the actual application deadlines. My kids made spreadsheets listing all deadlines and items due: scholarships, honors programs, financial aid forms, applications. They also made lists of all essays required and printed out all the prompts/due dates so they could work on rough drafts easily.

Also make sure your student follows her HS requirements for requesting transcripts and recommendation letters. Sometimes colleges will require additional copies of transcripts and recommendation letters for scholarship applications.

I also commented on your other thread discussing starting a new athletic activity senior year, being coxswain on a competitive crew team, and seeing this additional thread makes me think that starting a new demanding sport her senior year may not be a good idea, unless she is very motivated and organized, and a good time manager. The college applications can take a significant amount of time to complete depending on the number and deadlines, and her senior year classes will likely be demanding.

Why in the world should she be working on college apps in August?

Two of my kids did theirs on December 31! They did fine with admissions.

Your child has a lot of time to work on apps. Just remind her if she leaves them too late, she can say goodbye to a relaxing Christmas break. But she won’t listen if you tell her, so just be calm when she starts freaking out and resist the urge to say “I told you so.”

It is virtually impossible to “make” someone do work. Perhaps work on setting up some kind of timeline/schedule for her. Perhaps start from the deadlines and work your way up.

Check the DEADLINES for applications if your kid is applying for merit scholarships. At many schools, the application for admission if you want to be considered for merit awards is much earlier…like by December 1.

@happy1 Thanks for your answer. My D does not very well when she has a lot of work to do. Should we apply to less schools? Thanks. Also, she toke the SAT once and did not do very well. She keeps saying she will re-take it and we keep signing her up but she never studies or even shows up to the exam!

@ElleLakes

How many colleges is your kid planning to apply to?

She needs to pick a realistic college list based on the SAT scores she currently has.

Ask your child what SHE wants to do after high school. Then STOP and LISTEN. Really listen to your child.

College is not for everyone, and gap years can also be an option. Is she struggling with an undiagnosed learning disability, or maybe the pressure of living in a town where academic success is overvalued is causing anxiety and/or depression?

Parents want only the best for their kids, but kids may define the best differently. Your kid may be scared of the unknown future, may not be ready to leave home, may not want to apply to the Ivy League level colleges…

Put away all the college discussions for a few weeks. Love the child you have, and invest some time getting to know her better. Spend time doing something she enjoys. Laugh a little. Lighten the mood and stress level. See if that helps her open up and be honest about what is going on inside her head.

What was her SAT score? PSAT? ACT?

Re: not working on applications

  1. There is still time
  2. Is it normal for her to procastinate?
  3. Does she know where to start?
  4. Does she have a list of colleges?
  5. What is her SAT/ACT and GPA?
  6. Does she want to go to college
  7. Does she knwo what she wants to study in college?

It would not concern me that she hasn’t worked on her applications. It’s a nice goal for the summer, but not really necessary. My kids both started about this time and did just fine. However, her lack of interest in taking the SAT is a bit concerning. It’s time to talk to her about what she really wants.

@ElleLakes

What IS your DDs current SAT score? You have posted that your kids attend a competitive high school. It is very possible that what you think isn’t all that good is actually fine.

@calmom There could be many reasons why a student should / would be working on apps in the summer. In my D2’s case, fall means marching band, which takes up two-three evenings a week plus every Saturday. With her ECs and rigorous senior schedule, that means precious little time to work on apps until the marching band season is over in November. When you consider that many colleges require early applications to be considered for merit, the situation is untenable without an early start.

The OP’s post, however, seems to be a different issue. I agree that a frank, non-confrontational conversation is in order. A student who blows off SAT sittings is sending you a clear signal.

@thumper1
Thank you for your answer. My D’s on the SAT is 1423.