Help! Mom wants son to attend college, son wants to enlist in military...

<p>I'm in angst....D1 graduated '10 from BC,now fully employed at Georgetown U.
D2 graduating from Trinity (CT) in May '12, job hunting in DC & NYC
Son is 17, Jr at small independent school..met with college counselor and insists he wants to enlist in Army after graduating.
Yes, all kids are different. However, isn't ROTC combined with college the
best route?
Average national unemployment rate is 7%, it is 12% for veterans.
Is this a great life plan, for an athletic bright kid who is lazy in his studies?
He earned $5000 + last summer working on a golf course so he does have work ethic.
He has excellent Spanish skills and traveled independently to 3 countries when he was 14..</p>

<p>Help! Any ideas??? Thanks from a mom in angst...</p>

<p>If he wants to join the military then IMO the best routes would be to go to a service academy if he can get accepted to one, do the ROTC route, or at least get a college degree and go in as an officer (not always a guaranteed path though).</p>

<p>What does he want to do in the Army? A lot of the higher level positions require a college degree. The military has thousands of occupations within it, basically occupations that reflect all of the ones in the civilian world and more, but one doesn’t always get to do what they want once in. They have to do what they’re told to do unless they have a firm contract.</p>

<p>But at the end of the day people often don’t take what to us would seem a better path - they take their own.</p>

<p>How does he respond when you bring up the above other paths to the military? </p>

<p>My best recommendation is that he educate himself on the subject so he can make the decision that’s best for him. He needs to understand all of the variables, opportunities, obligations.</p>

<p>My H was very smart but also very ADD (still is) in HS. He took the SAT, got a great score. Applied to a large State U and got accepted. Lasted only 1.5 yrs there. Wayyyy too ADD to sit in a traditional classroom and take notes. We can’t even go to a movie without him getting up to leave at least 2-3 times. Mind is just busy all of the time…He came home, enlisted into the Marine Corps, and is now, many years later, he’s pursuing a bachelor’s degree at a well respected large State University on the USMC’s dime. Worked out very well for him. </p>

<p>College was just NOT for him at the age of 18 and he would have saved himself some time and $$$ if he had just enlisted right away instead of trying to force himself into the ‘traditional’ box.</p>

<p>Has he looked into various Army options, including the United States Military Academy and ROTC at various universities?</p>

<p>On the other hand, if he is “lazy in his studies”, going to the USMA or a university might not necessarily result in success there (and he may not even get into the USMA or a suitable university if he is “lazy in his studies” enough to lower his high school grades).</p>

<p>Hey, this sounds similar to my thread a few months ago. I really think someone or something is causing young men to view the military as glamorous and exciting. We just have to figure out how to get them to view college as glamorous and exciting. There were some good responses to my dilemma, but the debate got a little political, so it was locked:</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1279717-military-recruiters-got-hold-my-son.html?highlight=military+recruiters[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1279717-military-recruiters-got-hold-my-son.html?highlight=military+recruiters&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>They all want to be in the special forces. The archetype of the warrior is popular with young men, right now. I think it is part of the fact that we concentrated for so long on women’s equality, we’ve forgotten about the boys. (I say this with two daughters and no sons), but I “see” this a lot, now.</p>

<p>I hope you can assist your son in seeing that college before the military will give him better options. I am having a similar question about my daughter who is a junior and wants to go to culinary school instead of college. I realize it’s not the exact same thing, but I know what you are talking about.</p>

<p>You don’t want to tell your kid what to do, but you don’t want them to do something that will limit their future too soon, either.</p>

<p>Good luck to you.</p>

<p>Rather than the kind of college his siblings went to, find out if your son would consider attending a community college near you. If he enlists with an associates degree he will have better options and may get to Pvt. First class sooner - that worked for my niece who is a Marine.</p>

<p>I also have a nephew who never made it through boot camp because of a serious unexpected health problem. Even if your son does end up enlisting, encourage him to have a solid back up plan in case something like that happens.</p>

<p>Average national unemployment rate is 7%, it is 12% for veterans.</p>

<p>That stat is meaningless.</p>

<p>If your son plans on getting trained for something, getting a college degree later, or making the military a career, then how is that stat meaningful?</p>

<p>I think you need to hear why he wants to enlist, and what he hopes to gain from this experience. He may have very well thought out reasons for enlisting. He also might not know the other options out there for entering the military. OR he may know about those options but really does not want to do college studies. </p>

<p>Try to listen to him…with an open mind. I know he’s a 17 year old, but sometimes they surprise us with their perspectives and insight.</p>

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<p>That depends. Does he want to be an officer? If so, then a service academy or ROTC is the best route. If he does not, then enlisting makes sense.</p>

<p>I think thumper gave you some great advice. Find out why he wants to enlist. What are his hopes? Dreams? </p>

<p>Mr. PMK was a Marine for 22 years before he retired two years ago. He went through ROTC and it was the right decision for him. It wasn’t an easy life but it was meaningful and I’m proud of him.</p>

<p>College AND ROTC my provide the incentive for both. Remember joining ROTC does NOT obligate a student to go into the military. But also remember that accepting scholarship money from ROTC does. ROTC will give money for other things without a service or payback obligation. </p>

<p>Less then 1/5 of freshmen and sophomore ROTC cadets end up serving. ROTC is a way of finding out is the military is for them. The Army knows that. It’s an opportunity to get an idea of what the military is, and most opt out. They can walk away anytime they want as long as they do not accept scholarship money. </p>

<p>Our son went thru ROTC without accepting scholarship money. He wanted to keep his options open. Upon graduation he THEN decided to get a commission. I will cringe for years at the amount of money he AND we will have to pay off in college loans that were totally unnecessary. Kids!</p>

<p>Being enlisted and being an officer differ in so many ways. In general, officers are managers,supervisors, group leaders (unless we’re talking Spec. Ops/Spec.Warfare). Much of the time (as they move through the ranks) officers are relegated to desk duty. A lot of young men don’t see that as being the kind of military life they envisioned. Therefore, the “hands on” enlisted type jobs appeal more to them. </p>

<p>A kid who’s “lazy in his studies” will not be going to a military academy and would have a tough time getting an ROTC scholarship if he doesn’t have the grades. They are much tougher to get now than a few years ago. </p>

<p>Nicole, have some long talks with your S. Hear him out. Discuss the various options. Try to remain calm. He may be just trying this idea out to see how it goes over. Also remind him that officers make a LOT more money than enlisted guys. </p>

<p>My S never wanted to do anything in life except be in the military. He went the NROTC route. He is a Spec. Ops officer who commands a platoon of top notch enlisted men.
There are great opportunities if they aim high.</p>

<p>Poetgrl, My cousin’s S never wanted to do anything but cook. He attended Johnson&Wales University. Got his four year degree and is now cooking in an upscale restaurant in a big city and doing well. A friend of S1’s also graduated from J&W is is doing well.</p>

<p>He’s bright, he’s athletic, he’s independent, he’s not too interested in academics right now but wants to join the military. He sounds like he’d be a great soldier well suited to Army life, and if he decided not to re-enlist his maturity would probably make him more ready for college. Our kids don’t always follow the paths we pick for them.</p>

<p>“A kid who’s “lazy in his studies” will not be going to a military academy and would have a tough time getting an ROTC scholarship if he doesn’t have the grades. They are much tougher to get now than a few years ago”</p>

<p>Exactly. He would have to be an absolutely top notch, motivated student to get into a service academy. He could do ROTC without a scholarship, though it’s certainly worth trying to get one. I have no problem with anyone enlisting in the military instead of going to college, but they must understand exactly what they are doing. If they enlist in the Army or the Marines, they are going to Afghanistan, or eventually some other middle eastern country. Though we seem to be winding things down, we are going to end up over there for a long time. They also need to understand that the mission of the military is to “kill people and break things”. I say that with all respect, as a Desert Storm veteran…so many kids seem to be surprised that they ended up in Iraq and Afghanistan with a gun in their hands. And it is not glamorous, it is difficult, hot, low paying work that may not reward them after they leave the military. He needs to know exactly what the realities are, and if he still feels motivated to continue on, we very much appreciate his service.</p>

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<p>Thank you. J&W has been suggested as a good idea. I appreciate the info.</p>

<p>Your son must be really awesome to be special ops in the navy. It’s quite a feat to get to that point. Hats off.</p>

<p>Thanks poetgrl. He worked so hard for it. I can’t even begin to describe the training those guys go through. He loves his job.</p>

<p>Have him do the research and figure out what he wants to do. If he really doesn’t want to go to school, the military is a good option. Have him realize that the first thing he will do once he finishes basic training is “go to school”. His AIT (advanced individualized training) will be both hands-on and classroom to learn his particular job. He will continue to go to different schools throughout his career. </p>

<p>Enlisted soldiers get paid much less than officers, due to training and college and duty differences. Here’s a link to the pay charts: [2012</a> Military Pay Scale Chart Table](<a href=“http://www.militaryfactory.com/military_pay_scale.asp]2012”>http://www.militaryfactory.com/military_pay_scale.asp)</p>

<p>He’s start out as an E1 in the military if he enlists. O1 if an officer. That may get him thinking a bit. </p>

<p>He can go to college on an rotc scholarship if he is selected for one. If not and he wants them to pay for school he can do SMP where he joins the reserves or national guard, goes to basic and ait training after his freshman or sophomore year. This is good for someone who does not have $$ for college and did not receive an ROTC scholarship. Also, as mentioned above he can do ROTC without a scholarship and pay for his own school. ROTC students take military classes and do training exercises on some weekends throughout the year. Scholarships and SMP have service obligations once they complete school.</p>

<p>The key is RESEARCH! It’s all out there online. Don’t let a recruiter talk him into anything he’s not comfortable with. If the recruiter promises him something, get it in writing before signing anything. Schools and training are promised but unless he passes the aptitude tests and has it in writing it may not happen. He also must pass medical physical. </p>

<p>Good luck! My brother enlisted and my DH was an ROTC scholarship student. My son is a current ROTC scholarship student so I’ve seen both sides of the coin. The most important thing to remember is that your DS must be committed to serving his country! No one should do it just for the pay or just for the schooling–those will be unhappy soldiers.</p>

<p>A service academy might be out of his reach but he might want to consider one of the country’s senior military colleges. He would get a a 24/7 military environment as a cadet whether he participates as a civilian or as part of ROTC (with a scholarship or just as a college programmer). The Citadel and VMI are straight military, while Texas A&M, Virginia Tech, North Georgia & Norwich are military programs within civilian colleges (Although Norwich is more a civilian program within a military college, I think). He could also look into the Early Commissioning Program, which takes place at the junior military colleges.</p>

<p>North Georgia College and State Univ. has a really good Army ROTC program.<br>
It is a residential military college for the Corps of Cadets but also civilian college. Regular college kids living on campus/attending classes with the cadets.
Elem. education is a popular major=lots of girls there too.<br>
S1 attended it’s National Leadership Challenge weekend when he was a h.s. junior.
and enjoyed it. He didn’t apply there because he decided to go Navy. NGCSU is Army only.
This might pique his interest. [Military</a> College Admissions | The Military College of Georgia | NGCSU](<a href=“http://www.northgeorgia.edu/Military-College-Admissions/]Military”>http://www.northgeorgia.edu/Military-College-Admissions/)</p>

<p>One thing to think about – It’s not really an “either/or” – either enlist in the military or go to college. Lots of bright young men and women do both. I have a couple of enlisted guys in my class right now who are earning Master’s degrees and one who plans to go on for a PhD. And most of them will tell you: “I wasn’t ready for college when I was 18. I’m glad I took some time and explored the world and learned some skills first.” And now a lot of them are really awesome students! (And the military is paying their tuition. Win-win for everybody.)</p>

<p>If you think that what is happening is that your son is chomping at the bit to get out and see the world and do things, then maybe what he’s really saying is that he needs a gap year. If you’re ideologically opposed to the military, then maybe he could do Americorps, go volunteer for a year abroad, or do something else. (And admissions people MIGHT even see so-so grades in high school differently, if the transcript comes in accompanied by an essay from an 18 year old who talks about how he matured during his gap year, refined his interests and now he’s ready to settle down and take school seriously.)</p>