Help! Mom wants son to attend college, son wants to enlist in military...

<p>Thanks to all of your fantastic suggestions. To clarify his “lazy academics”, he has been in the same small day school since K, was high honors until 9th grade and is selective about his academics…ie he does well in what he likes (Spanish, Sports Science) and does well in English when he does his reading…His gpa continues downward.</p>

<p>I agree with busdriver about ending up in Afghanistan etc…its not all glamorous. The counselor wants him to go to a school like UDelaware or George Mason where there is a choice of college paired with ROTC. This decision for military is not financial need based although I would love him to get scholarship $$ after putting the other 2 through expensive schools. (he says he wants to go to school in the south)</p>

<p>What I would like is for him to go to any school of his choice and major in Sports Management or Econ…& get a job with a sports team…and enter as an officer in the Army after he graduates…IF he still wants military.</p>

<p>The recruiters did a number on him and convinced him he would retire at 38…I am not making this up!!! His counselor told him he was 64 and still not retiired!!!</p>

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<p>That is possible…assuming you are able to stay in for 20 and not be forced out due to disciplinary issues(including being late to work), medical/injuries, or RIFs in force/overmanned occupations within the military. </p>

<p>Moreover, one can get vested after 20 years by working in other areas of government at all levels. Yes, the military may have better benefits/pension after 20 years…but those who made it to 20 really earned it at a heavy cost…especially considering the recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. </p>

<p>Have a friend who is about to get fully vested as he’s about to hit 20 years working in a state government division. However, he’s planning to stay for 30 years to get better benefits/pension and experience for greater exit opportunities.</p>

<p>I have a cousin who enlisted right out of high school in about 1980 (?), served in various locations around the US and in Europe for 20 years. After “retiring” he wasn’t interested in going to college, so he picked up a job near his parents home, and has been there ever since. Yes he has a military pension so he has more financial security than his co-workers at his current work place, but he certainly isn’t playing golf all day long.</p>

<p>Just some random comments… </p>

<p>Yes, if he joins the military at age 18, he can retire around age 38. One of my good friends did that and then immediately got a great post-military job for a defense contractor. Every month he gets his military pension pay on top of his current job income. He also traveled a lot in the military, made tons of great friends, and got trained in several different job categories since they can ask to go into different military career paths every now and then. </p>

<p>My son got out of the Navy last year after 6 years. He’s attending college now for free using his “GI Bill” benefits. He has a cousin doing the same thing who’s graduating from UT Austin this year.</p>

<p>It sounds like his counselor has a good plan for him. I was going to suggest looking into Norwich, but if he wants to go to school in the south, that obviously won’t fit the bill.</p>

<p>All of this college on the GI Bill and retiring at 38 presumes that one survives, and does not have a catastrophic injury. It seems that all too often recruiters don’t mention that part.</p>

<p>I agree that he could retire young.</p>

<p>My son’s Godfather retired at 37 from the Air Force.</p>

<p>Another friend retired at 40 from the Marines.</p>

<p>But, they have kids, health care costs, kids college…Retired from the military did not equate to not having to work full time. </p>

<p>Recruiters ARE salesmen. Their job depends on getting recruits. </p>

<p>I would be proud of a kid in the military, but I want the kid to look at all angles. First, getting through the entire recruitment is not as easy as it once was. Next, the jobs available once in are not always your choice. If he is given a job with mundane duties for 4 years, would he be happy? Most smart boys would not. Your son sounds intelligent and independent, wanting to do his own thing. Uncle Sam would not allow the doing his own thing. </p>

<p>There is nothing you can do but encourage him to consider all aspects. And encourage him to talk to local military. Every occupation has good and bad - the recruiters feed him the good, now he needs to see the other side and decide the balance for himself.</p>

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But it doesn’t matter what the OP’s views are since it’s the OP’s S who’s living this life and needs to make the decisions.</p>

<p>Another point - if he’s set on joining the military, has he considered the other branches of service - i.e. Air Force and Navy? They have a lot more technical types of jobs that open the doors for lots of training and exposure to areas he might be interested in. Most of them also aren’t the ones carrying a rifle on point of a patrol (‘most’ - not ‘none’) and are generally safer in an actual war. Keep in mind though that these two tend to be more selective and just having a college degree doesn’t guarantee one can go in as an officer. OTOH that might be the opposite of what he wants - maybe he wants to be the guy with the rifle on the front line. Have you ascertained what he wants out of the military and what he sees himself doing in it?</p>

<p>Our S joined (army) ROTC his junior year of college. We thought is was a really stupid decision!!</p>

<p>He was commissioned as an officer shortly after graduation.</p>

<p>Fast forward four years. He was just promoted to Captain, and will be finishing his four year obligation very soon (June.) Even though we were opposed to his decision, it has been a good experience for him. And he did spend a (long) year in the combat zone in Iraq. He received some outstanding recommendations from his commanding officers for his work over the past four years.</p>

<p>He now has a new perspective, a lot of leadership experience under his belt, and a lot of confidence. He has lived all over the country, and is stationed on the opposite coast from our home. Thankfully, he will be able to combine his college education with his leadership experience when transitioning in to the corporate world. He is headed to a career conference this weekend where he has 12 interviews set up with companies that have expressed an interest in him! </p>

<p>So, while we (especially Mom :)) thought it was a really bad decision for him to join the military, it turned out to be a good decision for him.</p>

<p>As others have mentioned, he can now also attend graduate school debt free, and plans to get his MBA while working.</p>

<p>As for what kind of job he’ll do in the military, it will depend on his ASVAB scores. One cousin who did only average ended up a truck driver. Two other relatives, who absolutely blew the test away, got their first choices-guaranteed. One went Japanese language training and military intelligence and the other nuclear reactor training. He’ll be getting out in a year with a number of jobs to choose from. The one thing about the military, whether officer or enlisted, is that you get a lot of responsibility as fast as your are able to handle it. Now, the officers definitely have to deal with a bs factor that most enlisted men do not. The guy who went military intelligence, went to the Naval Academy and quit because of there being more than one set of rules for students. My father, who retired after 20 years, started Officers Candidate School, and quit because he didn’t like the politics involved. And he was a recruiter and recruiters do have to get their quotas. Which goes back to the ASVAB. People with high scores can write their own ticket. Anyone else needs to be very careful about what the recruiter tells him or her and get it in writing.</p>

<p>First, he needs to decide what kind of job he wants to be doing. Junior enlisted in the infantry is going to be lot different from a junior officer doing developmental research for satellites! There are two big decisions here. Does he want to be an officer or go enlisted? Officers tend to lead/manage. Enlisted tend to have more hands-on jobs. (There are exceptions like special operations and aviation.) The other is which career field he wants to be in.</p>

<p>If he can’t answer the officer vs. enlisted question or can’t narrow down his options to a couple potential career fields, I would raise the red flags.</p>

<p>My son decided military is what he wanted to do as a career after being in JROTC. He is a type A first child so I steered him to the senior military colleges. Many high school students benefit from the structure of the military life and can then use their GI benefits to do college once they are out. The military is not granting as many ROTC scholarships right now so they are very competitive and selective. As other people mentioned ask your son what attracts him to the military. It may be the best route for him to take.</p>

<p>Definitely sit down with your son and find out what it is about military life that appeals to him. As others have recommended, a few candid conversations with current military personnel can help shed light on his true intentions.</p>

<p>I have a family member who was a 4.0 top student at a private prep school, had the opportunity to attend top colleges for close to free (Dad worked at a top tier, very elite college) who joined the Navy because he wanted to be a seal.</p>

<p>He did make the squad and a few years in wondered just what he’d signed up for. After a 6 year stint, he left the military and ended up paying his own way through college. Turns out, he joined up because the Navy’s advertising made special forces seem so “cool.”</p>

<p>Your son needs to find out exactly what is promised him if he joins the military. A friend of my son’s joined the Marines right out of High School two year ago. He was told he would be in a special weapons section. Alternatively, he was told he might be sent to the Language facility in Monterrey to learn Arabic. </p>

<p>What actually happened was this: after basic training, he is now in the reserves. He is back living at home most of the time, taking a few classes at CC, and working a telephone bank job. He spends a few days every month back at Camp Pendleton. </p>

<p>I don’t know what happened regarding the promised career, but the military is cutting back.</p>

<p>There are some kids who are just not ready for college at 18 (I know; I was one of them); witness the overall graduation rates from Average U. For many of those the kids, the military is an attractive option. They will grow up, acquire discipline - and have nice financial benefits available at the end of their enlistment. That’s the route I took, albeit after throwing away two years of mommy and daddy’s money in a failed first attempt at college, and I’ve only regretted that I didn’t take that path straight out of high school.</p>

<p>OK, a follow-up to my post from last year. My son will graduate with incredible grades in June. He has been sworn in with the Army this week & will depart 2 July for boot camp at Ft Jackson in SC, then onto Ft Sill in OK until 20 Oct, then home before deploying to Afghanistan. My worst fears have come true as far as his ultimate destination. We are a patriotic family and we are also realistic as far as safety & risk.
Going the ROTC route would have made him an O1, not an E1. I do not think this kid knows what he just did this week. After 13 years of independent day school it would have been nice if he went to college and entered the Army as an officer. College courses will enhance his leadership in the Army or civilian life & one can only hope!
The March 1 budget cuts, including the Military, are a whole different worry. Thanks for all your advice and information.</p>

<p>Oh…hugs to you!</p>

<p>Nicole, hugs and prayers. You’re a good mom. Have faith.</p>

<p>Hugs to you. My son’s college roommate, who was on an ROTC scholarship as is my son, left for the semester break, enlisted, and is currently at Ft. Sill. His mother also was torn by his decision, but there is not much you can tell an adult male.</p>

<p>^^^So true. There’s nothing you can say to change their minds. I wouldn’t have chosen EOD for my S1 but it was his decision.
Wow, MD Mom…giving up the ROTC scholarship to enlist. I sure the parents of your S’s roommate were really shocked/upset. </p>

<p>Hugs to you and best of luck to your S,Nicole1500.</p>

<p>I haven’t read every post here, but I’ll add my $.02.</p>

<p>When I was 17, I didn’t know what I was going to do with my life, other than go to college and study business. It didn’t seem very exciting to me, so one day I got the wild idea to enlist in the Marines - as an Infantryman. My parents werent too thrilled at the idea, but told me that it was ultimately my decision. </p>

<p>I turned 18 at boot camp on Parris Island, and was still 19 when I returned from my first tour in Afghanistan. I ended up visiting over 20 countries in my 4.5 years in - some were fun, some not so much. It gave me a different perspective on life. I certainly learned that there is no such thing as ‘poor’ in America, and got to see the best and worst that humanity has to offer. </p>

<p>I knew being a grunt wouldn’t provide any specific ‘skills’ that translated to the civlian world, but I’ve found that they love the intangibles that I pick up. At one time I was 21 years old and in charge of 12 men’s lives. It really hit home when I realized that the decisions I make (often while under extreme stress and fatigue), could mean the difference between someone going home alive or dead. Needlesss to say, I grew up a lot and have learned a lot about leadership, following instructions, delegating tasks and authority, mentoring, etc. Where else could I possibly get that kind of experience when just a few months ago I couldn’t even legally buy a beer?</p>

<p>I’m now 23 and in college studying Petroleum Engineering. The Post 9/11 GI Bill covers everything. I’m essentially getting paid to go to school. I know exactly what I want to do with my life, and take my studies very seriously. I wouldn’t trade my time in for anything, and the relationships built among brothers in arms lasts a lifetime. I’ve received job offers and internships - many of which were because someone high in the company was a Vet. My biggest complaint is some back and knee issues, which isn’t uncommon among former infantrymen. It turns out that carrying 140 lbs of gear on 25 mile hikes isn’t very healthy, hehe. </p>

<p>I haven’t been out long, so I’m still up to speed with how the military works in general. If you have any questions, I’ll try to answer them. I always prefer to get an answer directly from someone instead of ‘my brother’s friend’s blah blah blah was in the military’.</p>