<p>I do not think anybody can advise you, we do not know family dynamics. However, if it was my kid, I would be asking for money back for the sememster that you paid, but he decided not to finish. On the other hand. as an IT proffessinal I do not see how anybody would be satisfied with this job while hating it. It simply is not possible. I did have a talk with my S. when he announced that he does not need to continue and get degree because he can easily work in his field after 2 years, he was ready to drop out after co-oping at few places. I said, I do not support it, he should forget about my support if he does that. I said that I am paying for the paper, if paper is not in his hand, then I consider my money wasted. He loved what he was doing with all his heart. He listen, stayed for 3 more years (co-op programs are ususally 5 years), got his degree and thanked me many times for that. He said his clients cared about him having a degree. This is NOT an advice, this is just stating my own experiences. </p>
<p>He’s going to fail at any major if he does not stop the pot. It is going to demotivate him in every aspect of life.</p>
<p>I would tell him to talk to his adviser at school about what is the best path for him if he wants to switch to being a drum instructor. Should he Withdraw from classes rather than failing? Also ask your son how is he going to be paying for housing now that he is not in college? You will support him during college but if he is done with it than he is own. Spending hours on a free service won’t pay for food.</p>
<p>Support the switch. Support the transfer to another school. If his grades are so bad he cannot salvage a decent GPA, support the drop. Then, when he calms down (and he will). You talk finances, exactly the same way you would with a new freshman. We have X number of dollars for your education. This is what we can pay a year. As you look at new schools, keep that in mind as we cannot co-sign loans. Chances are, you won’t have to say a word, make any ultimatums, squat, because the reality will be he can either find an out of state school he can afford or he won’t. And if he doesn’t (likely), his dream job still requires a degree and he will make the decision on his own to look at the FL schools. </p>
<p>Sounds like a kid who needs a gap year or a change of direction. Not everyone is cut out to be a computer scientist. So the question is how to cut the losses and not burn bridges that don’t need to be burned. That means withdrawing in a way that doesn’t result in a lot of F’s on the transcript if that is possible. That means getting tuition money back if that is possible. And that means sitting down with your kid and saying that you are willing to pay for 8 semesters of college - and if he’s wasted one of them that’s his problem not yours. Not all teachers are paid poorly, but I think it’s a pretty stressful job everywhere.</p>
<p>Oh and for what it’s worth, I knew people who smoked a lot of pot and still managed to graduate summa cum laude.</p>
<p>Adding to what @ordinarylives posted, in addition to supporting the switch, etc, offer him advice. “If I were looking at music ed with a goal of being on a drum corps staff, I would…” and rattle off your list. If it were ME, I’d look at all the drum corps staff bios and research their backgrounds. He may be surprised at some of the resumes. I’d say, “I would want to know…” and one thing I would want to know is how many jobs do these people have? A drum corps job is the second or third job for some staff members. You will probably find that a lot of them have a better paying ‘day’ job to support the ‘music habit’. </p>
<p>I happen to have a drum corps based near where I live and know quite a few of the staff members. Most of the staff members have 9-5 day jobs AND work with at least one local high school AND work w/ the corps. Many are public school teachers. I can think of an engineer, a PR person, an athletic trainer on staff, too. </p>
<p>Plant some ideas in his mind so that he will go looking for more information - he needs that information in order to determine several paths to get to his end point on his map. You can facilitate the journey by saying, “here’s what you might choose to consider”. Telling him what TO DO is not helpful. He will resist that. But suggesting a way to research his options may be helpful.</p>
<p>I agree…support the decision. If I were guessing, you were hopeful he would earn a great living doing computer something, and you are worried about how he will do so in any field related to music.</p>
<p>Let that go! The reality is…he isn’t going to do well in those CS courses because HE doesn’t want to pursue that major. He isn’t the first to change his mind about what he wants to major in college.</p>
<p>Support what he wants to do…but do set the budget for what you intend to support financially.</p>
<p>You might also suggest that he complete this semester if possible, and apply for a leave of absence from the current school…just in case he changes his mind about this decision.</p>
<p>And lastly…any money owed…he should bare something for this if he drops the courses and has to repay the university for any aid he received…or the like.</p>
<p>The best way for him to deal with this on his end is to pay a visit to the Dean of Students and find out how he can withdraw from his courses with the least ramifications.</p>
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<p>I’m sure they are exceptional, but did the pot smoking help them achieve summa or was it a self-imposed drag on their abilities or a form of self-medication in lieu of therapy?
Marijuana has medical applications, but its recreational use is stereotyped with drop outs for a reason, just like abuse of amphetamine is stereotyped with high stress like traders and med students.</p>
<p>Random thought: I know that drill-writing software exists but could it be improved upon? A computer science person w/ an interest in drum corps could make a better software.</p>
<p>There’s a lot more going on than just a change in major. That by itself actually isn’t that big a deal. The average college student switches majors three times before graduating and more than a third of kids transfer colleges before graduating.</p>
<p>Sounds like your kid doesn’t want to be in college at all right now, or doesn’t want to be in his current college, or doesn’t want to be living at home. Just doesn’t want his current situation at all (with the CS major being just one piece of that puzzle). Have him finish the semester or withdraw without consequences (if possible) and then regroup. Taking a break from college for a while to sort things out might be just fine, and could help you avoid a second bad situation at a second college. Have the kid take some classes at a CC in a variety of areas to get things sorted out. Making the kid hold down a job during this period is also a good idea. Charge him rent or make him get an apartment and pay for some or all of his expenses. If he wants to spend his time on his music stuff for now, that’s fine – kid doesn’t need to be in college to do that. Would still have plenty of time for his music activities Keep the college money in the bank for now. Makes no sense to pour those resources down the drain. </p>
<p>One of mine took a 2 year “sabbatical” from school after a bad frosh year. He worked, took CC classes in several different areas to determine his interests, paid his own way, coached a high school team in his sport, etc. Now is back at different college full time and doing fine.</p>
<p>One issue with this is that the options for the new/second school may be limited a bit. Admissibility and aid for a transfer student won’t be the same as an incoming frosh. But if continuing with the current situation may be the most expensive thing to do at this point.</p>
<p>Schools vary in withdrawal process. At some, student can just freely withdraw single classes or entire term by a single click, while others involve review by dean or advisor. However, most schools do have the final course withdrawal date coming up soon, in the next week or 2. Unless you do a complete session withdrawal, which typically has a very late deadline, but also may be more involved than dropping by the course withdrawal date. Check your son’s school’s calendar and process so you know how much time you have to resolve this. Perhaps there is some particular course he knows he can’t get back on track with, but others he might salvage if he applied himself? Even with a music degree he’ll need some gen eds and electives. Good luck.My D’s sax teacher told her that when he applied for a rural middle school band director opening last year, 150 people applied.</p>
<p>Edited to add: When you read about withdrawal process, there are two things, dropping a course and withdrawing.Though some colleges may use the term ‘drop’ for both so it can be confusing. But usually there is an early date, maybe a week into the term, by which you can drop and there will be no record of it and sometimes can get money back. That date is far past, obviously. After the 2nd date, student will have ‘W’ on transcript for withdrawn courses, so that is visible to any school to which he sends his transcript. You can tell him that he may need to explain the 'W’s and they make him a risky candidate at schools which will question his perseverance and work-ethic. They will expect that a good steady applicant will still do their best to finish what is already underway as they prepare to switch gears. However, if he needs to withdraw, it is better than all F’s.</p>
<p>I agree. I am inordinately concerned about that because I don’t really understand what the student would be doing. If the semester ends in December, let’s say, and he withdraws today (Tuesday October 21), what will he be doing for a month and a half? Depending on how things work, it would look bad to have a bunch of Fs or a bunch of Ws (especially if he doesn’t have a good reason) when he is trying to apply for his college’s school of music. I don’t know especially about the specific school but at my undergrad music was one of the most brutal and rigorous majors you could be in. It’s as intense as playing a varsity sport at a DI or DII school except it’s year round. </p>
<p>If I were admitting people for a music program I would need to see some strong evidence of commitment and discipline and if someone just dropped all of their courses 1/2 way through a semester in a fit of pique I would be concerned about admitting them to a program that requires a lot of engagement.</p>
<p>That may be a huge factor depending on how good his school’s music program is. Changing majors is one thing, but no one likes a quitter and it might be worth it for your son to just finish up his classes for the semester (especially since he isn’t failing them) and proceed from there. It’s always better to keep your transcript clear of withdrawls and failures whenever you can, since you want to have that ‘cushion’ for in case you really do get in over your head and have to quit for unavoidable reasons.</p>
<p>And this student needs to find out if an audition is required for this new music major. At some schools, you can’t just “switch” into a music major. You need to audition and be accepted…and that usually does not happen mid year.</p>
<p>Good point & music majors can be quite competitive even at public directional schools.
I hope he isnt burning his bridges with current school.</p>
<p>He has prepaid tuition, which means we paid a lump sum when he was young and now his hours are paid for. He has basically wasted these 12 hours.</p>
<p>Yes, he is extremely talented in music and won’t have any problem getting in. He is more talented than some of his friends that have gotten almost a full ride there…unfortunately for us. I have begged him to finish out the semester, but I’m afraid he does feel helplessly behind in his 5 hour online statistics class. I think he’s just into the music and doesn’t care about anything else and therefore isn’t putting any effort in. He even went to his advisor at school today and discussed his situation. He said he thought there may be a way for him to drop the classes without a bad mark on his record. Sounds like my son doesn’t care about the lost money or time. Ugh. Oh, and he wants to spend the next month and a half working so he can save some money for traveling to and from winter drumline out of state. </p>
<p>Can you convince him to finish the classes this semester while you help him investigate applying for a music major?</p>
<p>It is much easier for a student to change majors if they have good grades.</p>
<p>His issue will be finding a music program that will accept him mid-year.</p>
<p>He could just switch majors, as long as he completes 4 of his 5 classes. If he’s that behind in statistics, he can just drop it before the end of drop period, he’ll just have a W on his transcript, something many reasonable freshmen do (the unreasonable ones pretend it’ll get better and end up with a D or F on their transcript). It won’t be a big deal. See if dropping the stats class and completing the other 4 in order to switch to a music major and join the drum line at his current school would work.
If that’s not possible, then try to recoup your loss by having him take a leave of absence so that he can return later on.</p>
<p>I would also look at him withdrawing from Statistics (if that still lets him be full time) but continueing with the rest.</p>