<p>My s is a straight A student, won a top math award in 6th grade in his class of 400, won writing prizes, had a 98th percentile score in his math ISEE, Pop Warner All American Scholar, Star boy scout, starting running back in football, starting attack in soccer. He applied for 7th grade admission and was accepted at one middle school and one ISL school (which he now attends).
He wasn't accepted to a couple of other ISL schools that he would have preferred to attend. I am a little frustrated about this because the accepted students that we know to these other schools have some connection and have a resume far inferior to my son's. I don't know what more my son could have done for admission to these other schools. I have come to the conclusion that there is such an admission preference for those with hooks (connections, donors, super sports, etc) that the true available spots are very limited. These accepted students are nowhere near my s in academics, maturity, or otherwise. My s wants to attend a different boarding school for high school. Is there anything we can do now to connect with people at these schools, talk with alums, profs, anyone else to increase his chances? Are there other activities to increase his profile? Anything else to suggest? It seems so unfair that some have an inside track, while we just go through the app process. Those with hooks, who will not contribute to these schools like my s will, are far more likely to be admitted. I hope to learn from this in the next round. Thanks for your help!</p>
<p>What is the deficiency in the school he's attending?</p>
<p>His current school isn't predominantly boarding, also, it has far fewer cocurriculars than some of the other schools he is interested in. He is very interested in a handful of these other schools because of these main factors.</p>
<p>I promise you that legacy kids won't completely dominate any large school... And the legacy kids won't be complete nuts.</p>
<p>Maybe you shouldn't look at it like- my son's application was so superior
and look at it like, how can we make the application more unique </p>
<p>The kids that have unique experiences and interesting applications are way more memorable from what I have heard then the "star, star, star". I mean, as long as your application is competitive and it doesn't look like "Cookie-Cutter pressure mother". Most of the BSs that I went to visit didn't have to really bow down to legacy kids, because they were rather old.</p>
<p>that was just from one ex-admissions head that I met during my visits. The part about unique.</p>
<p>thanks, that's good advice! I didn't mean to go on about my son's record, but it was really tough for me to watch my s work so hard, then see average candidates accepted over him just because of their hooks. I'm hoping that 9th grade admissions will involve more objectivity when schools look at candidates. I would welcome any more suggestions or advice for the next round.</p>
<p>italianboarder makes a good point -- in that it dovetails with my thinking. I once had to screen resumes for a highly competitive summer program for post-graduate students. We had over 500 resumes and 4 openings. I had to select the 20 people we would invite to interviews. The applicants whose resumes followed the "tried and true" path all blended together. I couldn't tell them apart. Separating a 3.73 GPA and a 3.755 GPA was tiring. And then there was the guy who was clearly competent and had numbers within the ballpark (I just made a pun, you'll soon see) but didn't quite knock it out of the park. But the difference was that the previous summer, while nearly all the other applicants were doing something remotely relevant to their careers (think working in the laundry of a hospital for a med student, or working as a messenger in a law firm for a law student), this guy sold beer during Baltimore Orioles home games. That resume was the gamechanger for me. I decided that if I had to sit down with 20 people, they better be interesting people and not just highly qualified people. So the Navy SEAL...he got an interview. Not out of a sense of patriotism, but because I was being selfish. The bookworm who had all the highest stats...I had no desire spending time with her.</p>
<p>Now think about what goes on in boarding school admissions where the admissions team isn't just deciding who gets to spend 20 minutes with them, but who will live with them for the next 4 years? How one "looks good" based on that file full of papers they review should take on an altogether different meaning for you if you look at it from their perspective. It's not enough to have the objective data on your side. Your file folder -- and the interviewer's notes inside them -- must portray a person that a room full of adults will want to have in their company, day and night, for four years.</p>
<p>And, given that perspective, I submit to you that the interview is phenomenally more important than you might initially expect. Yes, the statistics are important. But you must distinguish yourself in more intangible ways.</p>
<p>
[quote]
And, given that perspective, I submit to you that the interview is phenomenally more important than you might initially expect. Yes, the statistics are important. But you must distinguish yourself in more intangible ways.
[/quote]
I completely agree.</p>
<p>The other thing to consider, Jamon, is that those hooks my not be what you think they are. After my son's interview, the school seemed really interested in knowing more about something that I didn't really give more than a few moments thought to. They did not appear impressed with what I thought was my son's biggest accomplishment (maybe because they have had many others who had done the same thing?), and did appear impressed with things that I completely take for granted.</p>
<p>So ask yourself how many of those things on your son's resume are done without the guidance of adults. What is your son's hook? The further I get into this process with my son, the more I realize that many of those things that I once thought were hooks are actually just the norm. What is it about HIM, as opposed to what he's DONE, that makes him stand out? This is what you should try to highlight. It's hard, I know. I really do sympathize with you. When I look ahead to March 10th, I find myself thinking about how I'm going to tell him that he was NOT admitted more than planning a celebration. He's applying to a highly competitive school and the reality is that he has a better chance of not getting in than in getting in.</p>
<p>This is insightful and as usual, well written, D'yer Maker. </p>
<p>It keeps things in perspective for me. While applying to schools, it's an uncomfortable process for us (as parents), and our daughter also, to fill out the application questions, prepare for the interview, all while maintaining a semblance of humility. </p>
<p>We're filling out 4-5 applications, all asking similar questions in different ways and it may be tempting to aggrandize the accomplishments/acheivements; make EC's, leadership roles, activities, academics, and community service almost as though they were commodities that can be purchased and placed on a resume, rather than useful information to reveal the person behind the activities. </p>
<p>It definitely is the person they are wanting to know...and the ability to display vulnerability--acknowledging some things you don't do well--can be an endearing quality.</p>
<p>Jamon, consider that about 90% (or more) of the students applying to BS are serious students, and have good or great academics. Just as your S might be excellent in math (and that might be his "hook"), others are equally talented whether it be music, community service, sports, writing, drama, etc. (and quite a few are talented in more than one area), or some are solid all around. (During the welcoming speeches at Choate, the Admissions Director said they had to turn down 150 students with 4.0 averages). I would say that there is no one talent that contributes to a school more than any other; rather, I think the schools want a diverse student body, while still seeking students who can handle the work. But sometimes it is hard to know why schools accept one person, and reject another. Every person is at a particular BS for a reason or something that the admissions officer saw in them, and would also agree in retrospect that interview is key.</p>
<p>One of the essays my son had to do last year was "What makes me the interesting person that I am?"
It's not only the grades and the scores. It's what makes you interesting and HOW did you get to that point in your life. I realize we are talking about 13 and 14 year olds here, but if they can communicate that in their interview and in their essays, it makes a huge difference (I think). When the teacher recommendations say something similar, it pulls the application together.<br>
All the top schools, and many of the so-called "second tier" schools could fill the school with 99% and 4.0 GPA's. They don't.</p>
<p>All good points....in our case, applicant had the grades and SSAT scores, but not that many ECs, since the middle school didn't offer all that many. But, she has an interesting life story that makes her unique. She was able to communicate that well, which I think was a big plus.</p>
<p>Jamon,
You mentioned your son's grades, testing and extracurriculars which were all excellent. That leads me to believe that there was probably a problem with his interview, essays, parent interview, or teacher recommendations--all important parts of the evaluation.</p>
<p>I work with many students each year. I have seen parents blow it for their children (not to say that is you, but I don't know you at all, so I have to mention it), have also seen kids answer interview questions in a bored or annoyed manner, or just a boring manner, which doesn't compare with kids who are able to hold a meaningful conversation. I've also seen bright kids write the worst essays that don't say much about themselves. </p>
<p>The good news is that IF any of those are reasons that your son didn't do as well as you had hoped the first time, you can try to improve on those. </p>
<p>In my opinion, connections, legacy, or any insider stuff doesn't have much impact on admissions. Good luck and if you want to pm me I might be able to give you some tips.</p>
<p>Newyorker22, you said that you have seen parents blow it for their kids. Could you please elaborate?</p>
<p>Parents who are aggressive, over-involved, arguementative, or who seem like they might be a pain in the *** to deal with. Schools screen for that. I have seen them in my office where I knew it would be a problem (the parents themselves have no idea); and I have heard feedback from schools where they just tell me that the family fit isn't right, or sometimes even something as specific as that they wouldn't want to have to deal with those parents for 4 years.</p>
<p>It happens....</p>
<p>You're wrong, newyorker22. Sometimes we have a very good idea that we've just undermined our child's chances at a school -- and I'm not talking about doing so by some sinister design. I can think of one interview where I walked out knowing that I was so out of synch with the admission officer, it made no sense for him to apply. We just talked right past each other. I didn't understand her, so my responses were non sequiturs to her. And vice-versa. At several points we both sent each other verbal and non-verbal cues that basically said, "What in the world are you talking about?" or "How did you come up with that as being even remotely responsive to my question?"</p>
<p>That has become part of my daily routine here, where I'm learning a new language. But it was incredibly uncomfortable -- for both of us, I'm sure -- to have that level of disconnect in my native tongue.</p>
<p>As you say, "it happens."</p>
<p>Thanks. I think I know what you mean. They are looking for parents who will embrace the school as it is, and recognize that they know what they're doing?</p>
<p>These are all great responses to my concerns. Thank you. I just have to say that my s seemed to write interesting and textured essays, stressing his joy and uniqueness (I can't speak to his interviews). He wrote of his excitement and fun in his life and learning, his challenges in maturing, his modeling himself after the work ethic example of a much older relative. These essays seemed in line with your suggestions, showing real insight into him as a person and how he grew. I know that it's hard to convey something that will really grab an admission comm eye, but what more can he do next time? I have a feeling that for 7th grade admission, there is much more of this "connections" stuff because most applicants don't have a great deal of truly objective grades/other unique accomplishments at that age - they're just 11 or 12. I think that for 9th grade admission, kids will have much more objective criteria for admiss officers to consider, so I'm hoping the process may be more merit based than 7th grade. I appreciate all of your comments and hope that you can provide me with more.</p>
<p>bump.....................</p>
<p>Your comments about parents blowing it for their children are so funny. Funny because my husband sent me on the school tour with our daughter solely because I am weaker than he is and make a more subtle impression while he can be overpowering. He was aware of this fact and didn't want to blow the interviews for our daughter by being over-agressive and turning adcoms off.</p>
<p>But it's so hard to know what "hook" is the one the schools were interested in. My daughter had all the academics, no sports, a fabulous EC, she also has an outgoing personality and the one thing I stressed about her was her ability to instantly make friends with anyone - especially the underdog. But I don't know if that's what they liked about her, or if her religious devotion was it, or if it was her academics, or her EC "hook." How can anyone really know what it was that hooked the school in the end? Only the adcom knows. But I like to think it was the total package. A smart girl, high academics, good EC, a hook, and an outgoing personality. Somehow she filled a spot for whatever they were looking for at that school. I guess they didn't already have one of those.</p>