Help on UC Essay?

College Essays
1

<p>Hi guys I'm new to this forum and I'm wondering if anyone is willing to read my essay and critique it. It's the UC prompt #2 (Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?) I would really appreciate any help you can give me, and don't be afraid to be harsh. It's a rough draft and I know it still needs work. Just let me know if you can help and ill PM it to you. Thanks in advance</p>