<p>Hi, this is a first draft of my UC application essay prompt 2. Just need some feedback on how to improve this essay and connect with my reader more. There are grammar errors, so..yeah! Thanks :) </p>
<p>This diverse planet is a home to many; however, within it, we create our own homes where we become accustomed to our own ideologies, beliefs, and cultures. Being raised as the second son of two Pakistani parents in a community dominated by Asians and Armenians, always made me feel different. As I grew up and went through high school, I learned just how much a person’s skin tone, religion, and culture affected the way people looked at you. My brown skin tone and Muslim upbringing made terms like, “terrorist” easy to be throw at me. Though my face showed laughter, my heart felt pain knowing that people truly saw me as different. I could find nothing to cope with the pain until the summer after my sophomore year in high school. I was accepted into Camp Al-Ummah, (meaning Brotherhood or Community in Arabic) which was a 3 week co-ed camp in Meadville, Pennsylvania where other Shia Imami Ismaili teenagers from around the country would meet up to build friendship and learn about our shared religion. </p>
<p>Going in, my only prior knowledge of the camp was from past participants, all of whom promised it to be a life-changing experience. After the initial ice breakers and mingling activities, we began workshops that taught us about our faith and where we discussed the questions we had regarding it. Naturally, I was nervous about sharing my problem with people I had just met, so I stayed quiet and simply interpreted the information about my faith. As the days went by, and I made closer relations with many of the participants, I met a few people who had had similar issues back where they lived. Knowing this made me feel a lot more comfortable about sharing my experience. The night where I finally decided to share my problems with the whole camp was a night I don’t think I’ll ever forget, simply because of the impact it had on me. Every participant was given a pebble and as we sat in a circle, a bowl was placed in the middle. One by one, participants went up and after placing their pebble in the bowl, shared something that troubled them about their religion or a question they had about it. Finally, I summoned up the courage and stood up. As I explained my situation, I saw acceptance and understanding on faces all around the room, as a surprisingly large amount of them had dealt with at least some insult regarding their religion or skin tone. As everyone discussed my problem, I learned a lot about how to deal with it. One thing I learned was to accept my own religion, and to educate the uneducated to show them what they are ridiculing. This experience not only taught me how to deal with people who don’t understand my own background, but to make sure I understand someone else’s background before I judge it. This is a trait I will bring to the college campus to promote acceptance and understanding.</p>