<p>"so is "subdued" for him a bad thing?
If he doesn't like the side effects, he may want to try a different medication"</p>
<p>Yes it is where we are concerned. Having your child in a subdued state may be acceptable for some and that's their business but this means to me that my kids are not themselves when they are in this state and especially when I give the Metadate to my 6 year old and see this kid do a 360 by not being the rambunctious and energetic kid that he is, just sits there looking "intoxicated", how do think this makes me feel? This is what I don't like and no one will sell me on the idea that this is a good thing. I have always had and will always have a negative opinion where medication is concerned for this purpose. THE only reason why I do it is becuase it is about the only thing that will help them in school and as is the case with my 6 year old, it is mandatory even though I pleaded with the school not to have him on med this early in his life, he is still a child for God's sake.</p>
<p>Getting back to my older son, we have tried in the last 4 years, every med available and the straterra seems to be the one that has the least side effects so that's why we use it, nothing else can be done in this area unfortunately.
I saw a clip on the news concerning this a few weeks ago and haven't finished my research on it, it is the best thing I have seen to this day for help in this matter. if any of you knows about this, can you comment please?</p>
<p>steel, I didn't say that I don't do my share of 'threatening' - LOL. Altho it's really more like 'nagging'. I only mean I can't keep it up through college (at least that's the plan). </p>
<p>Yes, my nagging is why my son is "where he is" - as a freshman last year, he got a "1" on his music solo which made him eligible for state where he got a "2". Was he proud? Not that much. But I was proud of myself! After all, I nagged him for a month to pick up the registration form at school, arranged for an accompanist and made all the contacts with her, and of course the most important part.... nagging him to practice! </p>
<p>That being said, I have been backing off gradually, and his grades have fallen off accordingly. At this point, I'm trying to maintain a level of involvement (i.e., nagging) that will at least keep his head above water enough so that he can get accepted into at least some college - I won't let him leave himself with no options at all.... but they will probably be limited as a consequence of his choices. He knows that, but apparently doesn't process it. </p>
<p>If I sound confident in my methods - well, I'm not! I'm scared about his long time Ritalin use, and I'm scared I've damaged his self-esteem with my nagging. Should I have been so pushy about that solo? No - maybe I'm not so proud of myself after all. He's really a good kid; has a kind heart. That should count for something in this world.</p>
<p>As parents of kids with these disorders I think we walk a very fine line between threathening/nagging/tough-love or whatever words we choose and holding back and giving them some level of independence, hey, I just go with my gut feeling/instincts when looking for some method that will help each situation and hope and pray that I don't go overboard and most of all, that I don't turn away my sons or that they end up resenting me but I am always well aware that I am always walking a very thin line but that's the "risk" I take in my efforts to get the best out of them, to be quite honest, I would prefer my sons grow up to hate me as long as they turn out to be succesfull and happy, if that's the price I have to pay for this to happen then I am willing to do it as I think that this is my job as a parent, to put their best interests ahead of mine.
I have always wanted to be "best" friends with my kids but fate haven't given me kids that would make this possible, the way I see it, I have to be a father first and a friend second. </p>
<pre><code>Emeraldkitty4, I don't know the answer to your question but I have this accquaintance who helps me get info from time to time and he is a Neurosurgeon, I have sent this link to him asking some specific questions, when he replies, I will post his answers here.
</code></pre>
<p>I agree! We all do our best and somehow we all muddle through. </p>
<p>Well, we're off to visit relatives for the weekend and my husband is getting impatient to turn off the internet connection. Have a good weekend everybody.</p>
<p>ADHD drugs..nope..nope..nope!! wth is wrong w/ u people?? jkjk ive seen how its affected me and my add/hd friends..they do terrible things I was once on ritalin when i was 4 i became a stick my mom vowed to never put me on it again..ive been on certain ones...I even tried Strattera but the side affects r extremely painful!! I had to get off it it was helpful but i was about to go on an adventure program and having all these problems wasnt going to help and it was to hurtful!</p>
<p>Agreed, my college-bound son hasn't taken it for a while and looks like he doesn't intend to anymore for more or less the same reasons you mentioned. As for what's wrong with us for allowing or giving this medication? My 6 year old had to go on meds since last year becuase if not, the school won't keep him, as we speak I am having lots of problems with this medication thing and there are lots of issues that are propping up now but the bottom line is, my choices are either I medicate him or does not go to school, a "good" school at any rate.</p>
<p>I really appreciate your response, something for me to show to the nay-sayers who get on my case for strongly opposing placing my boys on meds for this! Thanks.</p>
<p>Hey Steel - LTNS - how are things going - I take it your college bound one is doing ok?? Hope all is well with you....................... best of luck to you and yours :)</p>
<p>Finally Jeepmom, you're alive!! That's great news. Sent a few emails to you a while back and never got any replies so it got me worried. Yes, my son will be attending Sacred Heart University [Connecticut] in the Fall, thanks for asking and hope all is well on your end too.</p>
<p>Thanks, yeah, with all of his ADHD problems he still managed to get accepted into all 6 colleges of his choice and got scholarships from all of them, the funny thing is, he got the least amount of scholarship money from his no.1 choice which is Sacred Heart and got the most [$44,000] from his no.6 choice, even though we realize that we will be owing a lot in loans for his no.1 choice, we feel this was still the best option.</p>
<p>I've pretty much lost confidence for me getting through college without extreme accomodations or drugs. So I'm dropping out and trying A LARGE NUMBER of nootropics. Though I forgot to order deprenyl. <em>groan</em> Plus, my parents now SO WANT me to go to a state school, instead of a liberal arts college. Actually, I used to have Caltech aspirations, but dropped them in favor of an early entrance program - so that makes my parents even more reluctant to pay more for a liberal arts school (Caltech would also work better since it's far easier for an Aspie like me to make friends there but I probably would need some anti-anxiety medications if I went there). But sinceit's too late for that, I need to shut up about that. Anyways, nowadays, I have NO MOTIVATION to do anything. Also, I became a nihilist, and can't get out of that either, so that's not helping either................... So in other words, I'm spending my time daydreaming all day long. Forums and computer games break the habit, but I'km still not doing anything on them. I dunno, I just have a new study plan since I'm unschooling now, maybe things will work out in the end...plus, i got a bunch of nootropics, but am so anxious about using them up so i'm procrastinating...</p>
<p>So sorry to hear of this, even though my son doesn't have the exact problem as yourself, I'd be lying if say I am not worried. If he can get through the first year of College, he will be ok so for his Freshman year, I will have to pull out all the stops to try to help him get through it. His College does not have a specific ADHD support group so I already told him that it is mandatory that "he" start one. I will create the flyers for him and will go help him hand then out myself if I have to.</p>
<p>His College has a "learning center" where students go for help with things like this but I can't depend on him actually going there so I figure if he organizes a support group then him and others in his situtation may be able to come up with ways to help one another.</p>
<p>Even though my son has stopped the meds, if all else fails then he will have no choice but to start taking them again but I will want this only as a last resort.</p>