“most prestigious school aren’t merit based tho and we firmly believe that going to an elite university will help me with what i’m doing later in life (which is quite unique)”
If your parents do insist on you attending an “elite university”, and you are admitted to one, then they will have to realign their current expenses in order to pay whatever that place decides that they can afford to pay. It really is that simple. There are no financial aid fairies out there.
From your post, I gather that your parents are immigrants who probably did not complete their entire college educations here. If that is correct, their notions of what are the best ways (or only way) for you to achieve your “quite unique” goals may indeed be unrealistic and unaffordable. You can play their game of elite-or-bust, or you can find some options that you can afford on your own (or with minimal help from your parents), and that can start you along your career pathway.