<p>From your writing, which is excellent, you seem to be a person of some talent and insight.</p>
<p>It might help you to know that a huge number of people your age are depressed, including clinical depression. I hope that you have gotten good help with that, because it does not have to make a “victim” out of you. It is a tough thing, but many people overcome it, or learn to work around it in some way.</p>
<p>I would recommend trying just one or two classes at CC when you first start off, just to build your confidence. If you get A’s, which you are obviously competent enough to achieve, that will help motivate you in the next semester. It is also a chance to actually enjoy that class or classes, which is a great experience after high school, where academics can often seem meaningless. Teachers at CC are top notch. There is even a new tv show on CC’s, inspired by the producer’s very positive experience taking Spanish at a CC with his wife.</p>
<p>Plenty of people turn their lives around at your age, and even much older. Some of the most successful people had periods in their lives similar to what you describe. You can do it!</p>
<p>But take it slow and steady if you can until the path becomes clear: then you can get fired up, but not until you have found some clarity by exploring things at CC with a spirit of caution and hard work.</p>
<p>Good luck and congratulations on your great writing skills!</p>
<p>p.s. hope you can continue with your music and find a mentor for that too: it does not have to be a college major or a job to provide life-long satisfaction and happiness</p>