HELP please!

Parents Forum
1

<p>I've narrowed down my college choices to two schools, and have only a few days before my final decision.</p>

<p>I visited both during their admit days last week, and I obviously have until May 1 to respond. I know there isn't a wrong choice, but I'm not sure if there is a better choice for me. I guess this thread is more for me to lay out the pros and cons of each school so that I have a better picture of my thoughts and feeling about each school. Feedback from you guys in this process would be extremely helpful for me in sorting out my conflicting thoughts and feelings.</p>

<p>Yale
Yale's campus was a bit different from what I had expected. I hadn't expected it to be so urban, with streets and shops running through the campus and traffic to dodge. This is one of the things I didn't like about Yale. I loved the Gothic architecture though, and each individual building is without a doubt, beautiful. I loved the feeling of Old Campus and the court yards in each residential college.</p>

<p>The surrounding area of New Haven didn't impress me much either. The shops are nice and all, but the streets and cars really detracted from a coherent campus feel. Overall, I loved the architecture and buildings of the campus, but didn't care much for the urban qualities. This is actually my main complaint about Yale.</p>

<p>Another thing is the weather. At Bulldog Days, it was cloudy, rainy, and cold. I come from California, so of course this weather is quite foreign to me. I don't know I will be able to handle New England weather for four years.</p>

<p>The people here are especially nice. I was offered to be taken to classes by tons of people. Everyone seems supportive of each other. It seems like they know how to handle academics with having fun. It seems like everyone at Yale loves Yale with a passion. There is so much tradition and camaraderie here that permeates the culture at this Ivy league school.</p>

<p>I liked how the residential college system created an intimate setting to get to know people. It seems like it is easier to get funding for research and events through the residential college system.</p>

<p>I visited some classes, and the professors were very welcoming and interesting. Both of the classes had under 10 people in it, which is a good thing.</p>

<p>Overall, I had a special feeling at Yale. Maybe its just being part of a 300+ year old school that has so much tradition. I loved the people there. They were very intellectual but not competitive at all. The only thing that took away from my experience was the campus, which I didn't particularly enjoy.</p>

<p>Another thing. At Yale, I would have to do $4,000 of work study, which is twice as much as at Stanford. I would have to do twice as much work study then, so will be more busy and less inclined to pursue other extracurricular activities. Plus, I'm from California, 45 minutes away from Stanford. I would say the distance of Yale is a bit of a nuissance since there will be extra money spent on travel expenses, and the fact that I hate plane rides. Stanford is just much more convenient I guess.</p>

<p>Stanford
The first thing that struck me about Stanford was its gorgeous campus. I imagine it to be like going to college in a semi-tropical land. lol I liked the Stanford campus better than Yale's because it is actually enclosed in an actual coherent campus. The buildings all like somewhat similar though, and weren't quite as distinctive as the ones at Yale. I didn't like the size of the campus. It was huge. Maybe after I get a bike things won't be so bad. Of course the weather is nice and all, but I've lived in this weather my whole life. Maybe I need a change? lol</p>

<p>Stanford seemed to try to emphasize its social life. Most of our events at admit weekend concentrated on the social aspect, while at Yale it was more about the academics and extracurricular life. The people here are also extremely nice, but they didn't seem quite as intellectual as those at Yale. I actually felt more at home with the people at Yale. I made more friends and have more contacts from Yale's Bulldog days than at Stanford's admit weekend.</p>

<p>From what I've seen of the dorms at both campuses, I liked the Stanford bathroom situation better. The bathrooms were cleaner there. I liked Yale's setup with the suite for each couple of rooms though.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, I didn't get to visit any classes, at Stanford, but only because I was too lazy to walk from place to place, and because I couldn't find anything because of the gigantic size of campus. I just got lazy. lol</p>

<p>I got slightly better financial aid from Stanford, with only $2,000 work study. This would take quite a load off, as opposed to Yale's $4000 a year work study. Stanford is also much more convenient, as it is close to home, and my parents want me to go to Stanford for that reason. I live close to Stanford, so it makes it easier to get back home in case of emergencies, or just to escape for a weekend.</p>

<p>I'm still undeclared, and have absolutely no idea of what I want to major in, so I guess that makes it even harder for me to choose. After reading all of that, and considering my situation, which school would you choose? Anyways, any feed back from you guys to help me sort out these things would help a great deal!</p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

2

<p>Go to Yale! First, Stanford is not seli tropical but you should know that if you grew up 45 mins. away. It's the Chelsea Clinton theory, go to the school away from home. It will be a wonderful, eye opening experience. I left CA for college and grad school ( H and Y) as have my daughters and they're loving the E Coast and feel more at home there too as I did.</p>

3

<p>Do you want to change coasts? You have to decide if the experience is worth the money. BTW, I wasn't that impressed with the uniform buildings and parklike atmosphere of Stanford- too orderly, isolated... but I wasn't the one who would have gone there...</p>

4

<p>I know Stanford is not semi-tropical, but there were palm trees everywhere, beautiful lawns, large fountains, etc. that makes you look like you are in a tropical resort. lol I guess that is a good thing, for me at least. The campus at Stanford was initially impressive to me, but now I wish I could visit Yale again before the date and compare the two again. </p>

<p>I know going away for college is a great experience, but I don't think that would be a strong enough factor to pull me towards Yale. I actually think Stanford is far enough, yet close enough, in a way lol. I guess I'm just scared of going away so far for so long. I have lived on the East coast for half a year before, so I know what its like being away. At first, you are extremely home sick, and regret your decision to leave home for so long, and then at the end, you have so many friends, and you have had such great experiences and memory its hard to let go. That's how I expect Yale would be like.</p>

<p>How much should the financial aid affect my decision? Yale is about $2500 more expensive than Stanford, which isn't that great of a difference. My EFC at both schools is 0, btw.</p>

5

<p>pagEL - I don't know enough about you to say whether Stanford or Yale is the more appropriate choice for you. Since college (and young adulthood immediately thereafter) are the EASIEST times to stretch oneself, it would be a shame if you choose Stanford because "I feel comfortable there." Of course you do, after all it's essentially home turf.</p>

6

<p>Just a thought (a fact, not an opinion): It is very hard for a first years student to earn $4000 of work study. First of all, it can take a week or two before you line up a work study job. Then, most of the jobs available to freshmen don't pay all that much. So let's say you are able to work 10 hours a week @ $8 an hour -- that would be $80/week. Let's say you can work 12 weeks the first semester -- that's $960 -- less than 1/4 of your grant. </p>

<p>Or, to put it another way -- if you could get a job that pays $10/hour -- which is high end for work study -- you would have to work 400 hours to exhaust your grant -- you'd have to find a job for about 15 hours a week to get all your hours in. </p>

<p>So if you are seriously considering Yale, you might want to tell them that you are concerned about being able to get the work and the hours as well as keeping up with your studies, and mention the Stanford offer -- you can also use that conversation to find out who you can talk to to get an idea of how much a typical Yale work study job pays and whether most students are able to earn their full allotments. Bottom line: Yale might match Stanford's offer. </p>

<p>If you didn't have a -0- EFC I might think that it's no big deal -- $2500 isn't that much money. But with your financial situation, you probably can't expect your parents to throw much your way, and there are other expenses, too: for example, you will need to buy new clothes because your California wardrobe is no match for a New Haven winter. Plus you will have extra travel costs to consider. </p>

<p>--
Another note: just because the classes at Yale you attended only had 10 students doesn't mean that they all will be like that! I have no idea what the typical class size is at Yale or Stanford, but it definitely would be a good idea for you to ask some students at each school what their experience has been, especially for freshman year.</p>

7

<p>Everyone who goes away has a certain level of trepidation and deal with it. The issue here is just how important your comfort level is to you. From your post, you do not seem adventurous, and comfort level seems necessary. Therefore, I vote Stanford.</p>

8

<p>I think you will get plenty stretched at Stanford, and you can always do a study abroad or exchange semester at another U if you feel the need to stretch farther. Do not dismiss lightly the expense of traveling to Yale, or the effect all that cold, gray, wet weather will have on your mood. By the time you add in travel expenses and higher workstudy and $2500 - it can be a lot. That being said - spend one day imaganing that you are going to Stanford, then one, Yale. 'which makes you feel more comfortably excited? Go with your gut. :)</p>

9

<p>Calmom, I think the 4k work-study is for one year, or two semesters. I may be wrong though. Yale minimum wage is $10.90 an hour.</p>

10

<p>I don't like the architecture around Yale either--and I don't like the newer buildings. That said, you never hear Yale grads complain about the campus. I don't think the buildings are what they remember.</p>

<p>Personally, I'd take the gamble and try Yale.</p>

<p>Travelling to strange places is intellectually stimulating.</p>

11

<p>I think in the end I will have the better experience if I went to Yale, because it is something entirely new. </p>

<p>Yale will be much more expensive though, because I will have to factor in the other travel expenses, such as travel, winter clothing, etc., that will not be a problem at Stanford.</p>

12

<p>Virtuoso, I was doing the math for 2 semesters - there are 15 weeks in a semester, including weeks that are shortened by holidays or breaks and may not be full work weeks. So I assumed an ability to work 14 weeks a semester,or 28 weeks in all. I didn't know about the $10.90 wage, but at that rate it would take 367 hours to exhaust the grant, and over 28 weeks, that is 13 hours a week. Neither of my kids was able to get up to speed with work study during their fall semesters to get anywhere near using up their grants- I think my son only earned about $500 through work study his first year, and my daughter earned less than $500 during fall semester. </p>

<p>It's just hard for a freshman to get up to speed --my daughter has been working many more hours her 2nd semester, but she's already figure out that it would be impossible for her to get enough hours in to use up her $1500 grant... I can't imagine how frustrated she would be if she had started college expecting to be able to earn $4000. </p>

<p>So I stand by what I said: it's really hard for a freshman to work the full hours of a $4000 work study allotment -- and there are no guarantees of employment or hours. </p>

<p>I raised this because I think when you are evaluating an award, you have to be skeptical about higher end work-study awards. I think the OP is already doing that - if s/he thought it was easy money, the discrepancy wouldn't be such a concern.</p>

13

<p>Thanks calmom. The discrepancy is a pretty big deal. Even if I could work that amount, I feel I would definitely lose out on my extracurricular and social life, not to mention my academics. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to do this my freshman year though.</p>

14

<p>PagEL60 - I think you should call up Yale on Monday and talk to them about financial aid -- see if they are willing to match or do better than Stanford's offer -- raise all the points we've mentioned, including the distance & the need to spend more money on incidentals such as warmer clothing at Yale.</p>

<p>If Yale comes up with more money and/or the financial aid office seems very warm and helpful - then you still will have a tough decision. If the money is not there - or if they seem to have a less-than-friendly attitude -- then realize that this is the financial aid office you will have to deal with all 4 years, and expectations for self-help aid (loans + work-study) - generally increase each year. </p>

<p>It actually sounds to me like your heart is saying Stanford in any case, though you do seem torn. I don't think you should be afraid that Stanford is a cop-out, too much in your comfort zone -- even though it is close to home, you will end up with a very new and different life at Stanford -- you will meet some incredible people and have wonderful opportunities. You will be stretched intellectually and emotionally. And you have your whole life ahead of you to travel to new and different places --the cool thing is that after college, you may very well be PAID for that experience by the company you decide to work for. </p>

<p>I'm just afraid that when you start tallying up all the differences in incidental expenses, you'll find that the cost differential is more like $4000-$5000. There just are a lot of expenses entailed with moving across the country that you don't think about until you are faced with the problem of moving all of your stuff there and back again and thinking about summer storage. Just little things -- for example, figuring out that there are some items you need that you left at home, and going out and buying them in New Haven vs. simply going home on a Saturday to pick up the extra stuff; or getting really tired of dorm food and going out to eat at a restaurant in New Haven vs. simply going home one Sunday and eating dinner with your parents.</p>

<p>If your heart was set on Yale... then I'd shift back the other way, and say it was worth the belt-tightening and sacrifice....but I'm sensing that you really could do well and be happy at either college.</p>

15

<p>I'd ask Yale about increasing the FA. The money difference seems minimal to me, as I suspect you'll find far better paying jobs within a short time. (My S began in coffee shop at low wage, now makes about $3--35 an hour).</p>

<p>Perhaps if you posted your interests, it would help.</p>

<p>Congrats on your excellent acceptances!</p>

16

<p>
[quote]
I actually felt more at home with the people at Yale.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>At the end of the day, it's not about the buildings or the town or the campus; it's about the academics and the people. You know the academics at both are excellent. I'd think you'd want to be with people you feel more at home with.</p>

<p>Assuming you can get Yale to fiddle with the fin aid.</p>

17

<p>Congrats Pag, you cannot make a wrong decision. It sounds as if Yale really struck a chord, plus the excitement of a big change of scenery. I think you are wise, though, to consider it carefully, especially if there is no wiggle room for finances and it sounds like there isn't. How do the aid packages compare re loans? Depending on how much money you think you can earn this summer, you might be able to offset some of that work-study, although my advice would be to apply that to loans.
Did they send you a recommended budget that they based the FA award on? If so use that as a starting point to do your own budget and compare expenses. You will have more moving expenses with Yale, I'm assuming you are in the warm part of CA and will need a new wardrobe, too. You might well not need a bike at Yale, and your parents won't be tempted to come and visit, and you won't go home as much, so your travel expenses are more predictable, but bigger at one time.
I agree, though, that's a lot of hours worked during the school year, especially for a fresman, you have too many other things to adjust to.</p>

<p>Good luck to you!</p>

18

<p>Gvien that there is no way of knowing where you would have a better experience, go for the money.</p>

19

<p>CT/New England winters can be long, dreary and depressing. My experience is with northwestern CT, so maybe the coast is not as bad. Just remember the winter aspect, esp if you are coming from California. The first year it is a novelty, the next three not as much fun. And the distance from home, and travel time means it can be more complicated to just get away for a weekend in the dead of winter. </p>

<p>Now, for a winter sports enthusiast, it can be heaven.</p>

<p>You would certainly not be "settling" to go to Stanford. And if you ultimately plan on returning to California, the contacts made and the networks in place could be invaluable.</p>

20

<p>I like Yale for all the reasons you don't and don't like all the things you like about Stanford. (Including dorms that seemed too anticeptic!) So feel free to take my opinion with a grain of salt. I don't know what typical Yale work-study jobs would be, but at many places it's manning security desks and you can actually get quite a bit of homework done on the job. Alternatively sometimes you can get paid research jobs which are great experiences. Either way the extra time, might not be as onerous as you think, but by all means also mention the Stanford offer to Yale - they've got plenty of $$$ to match it if they want to. I'd lean to Yale on the Chelsea Clinton theory of exploring what you know less well.</p>