<p>I'm having some issues with noise level in the suite I'm in (it's me and 4 other people.) 1 person I had issues with last semester, but thought she would be moving at the beginning of this semester (she didn't) so I never addressed it with her last semester. She constantly watches tv shows/movies on her laptop that I can hear through the wall we share until 3 or 4 am, blasts music in the bathroom area (5 feet from the door,) and right now is talking loudly with a friend while they get ready in the bathroom area. I'm currently wearing earplugs and have a fan turned on for white noise and I can still hear them (and their music.) I've asked her in the past if she can turn down her show, lower the noise level in the bathroom area, etc. I don't think she realizes/cares how loud she is. On top of that, the new girl that moved into the other room I share a wall with blasts music now. I can't concentrate with music/loud voices near me. How can I politely tell her that I want her to shush and stay shushed? It's only the first month of school, I'm not sure I can make it to May.</p>
<p>Living in close quarters with complete strangers and figuring out how to navigate different comfort levels of noise, heat/air, windows open/closed, guests overnight, etc. is a valuable skill. These situations will keep coming up through the years, and not just in college dorms. This kind of real life situation will happen at work, with your future mother-in-law, the next door neighbors, etc.</p>
<p>So, I don’t have exact answers, but will encourage you in the future to bring up any issue immediately (within 24 hours if not possible at the exact moment it occurs). Do NOT think “oh, I can just ignore the awful racket” or “maybe roommate will breakup with her boyfriend so I don’t have to confront him about eating all my food in our fridge” or whatever situation might arise with a dorm full of strangers. If you don’t say something the very first time, then the other person is led to believe their actions are normal and okay.</p>
<p>Maybe others can give you better advice, but think about approaching in a kind, gentle manner. Use a lot of “I” words instead of “you” words. For example, “I am struggling with sleeping due to the noise coming through these thin walls. I have tried this, this, and this (insert your methods of trying to cope with the noise) but am still not able to get to sleep.” </p>
<p>Do not start out angry and do not use phrases like “You are keeping me up all night. Your noise is awful, you are a terrible roommate.”</p>
<p>Is the noise level bothering anyone else in your suite?</p>
<p>I would make sure you speak directly with the offending person first, do not gossip around and talk with everyone else on your hall before you go directly to her. </p>
<p>When I have been confronted with an issue I didn’t realize was bothering others, I was immediately apologetic and trying to come up with alternates or compromises. But that is me, I am a third child and peacemaker is in my DNA. Others who were raised as only child in a house, or in a noisy household might not see their music/tv volume as an issue. If the response you get is not helpful, then you can speak with an RA to ask for additional help.</p>
<p>Good luck to you. It takes courage to start this kind of conversation with someone you will have to live with for a long while, but the only other choice is to live with it, and you seem to be saying you are not able to make that option work for you.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>If you’re trying to study during the day, study somewhere else. You’re paying rent for a living space, not an office building, so it’s designed to be accommodating for people’s personal lifestyles (which often include background music and conversation) and it’s not your own personal office or library.</p></li>
<li><p>If you can hear normal/medium-loud conversations (not shouting or singing) loud and clear with the door shut, as well as being bothered by multiple people watching shows with audio coming out of their laptop speakers, even through earplugs, you have thin walls and that’s not your roommates’ fault. If it bothers you, consider living somewhere else in the fall.</p></li>
<li><p>I do think, however, that it’s totally reasonable for you to suggest a suite rule of plugging in headphones and using quieter speaking voices after a certain hour, so people can get sleep despite the thin walls. I’d recommend midnight on week nights and 2am on weekends. That’s usually a good compromise between total night owls and people who like to go to bed early, though if one of you is a bit of a grandma or has a really early job you might consider 11pm and 1am.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Buy a subwoofer and blast your own music, see how they like it</p>
<p>TBH you’re better off taking the law into your own hands. Have a problem with her speakers? Get a needle and poke some holes in them and they will sound so ****ty that she wont want to use them anymore. Format their computer or steal it or whatever. As long as you don’t get caught, anything goes really. It’s pretty difficult to get caught for this kind of stuff anyways.</p>
<p>I’m in a boarding school and I had problems with a suitemate blasting music, I tried talking to him but he was an *******, so I went into his room while he went home for the weekend and opened the speakers and cut the wires inside the speakers. He took the speakers home and never brought them back…</p>
<p>^^^^</p>
<p>Worst advice ever, but one of the few times I have actually laughed out loud reading a post here.</p>