“One of the best experiences we has was with a small school that did not even have a disabilties office, but the school provided a weekly meeting with someone who helped with communication to secure proper implementation of accommodations, and who helped with time management and so on.”
While it is unknown if this person had ADA training, it is required by law that any school excepting federal money (work study, fed loans etc. ) must have a trained ADA person. It is possible for a small school to have a trained person who handles all of the ADA students without having an official office.
My son on the spectrum, high functioning but not great at communicating, self care is hit or miss. High GPA and SAT score, but not elite college material, which made it easy because I was already not keen on it because of the stress level. He applied to Caltech, which is a bit of a stretch, but I think everyone there is a bit on the spectrum, so he would probably be okay. Of the 10 schools to which he applied (one was a safety school he isn’t really considering), 3 have special programs for ASD spectrum kids (RIT, UCONN, DU), and he’s gotten in to all 3. I met with the Director at UCONN, really impressed and seemed the most accommodating of levels of maturity and self advocacy coming in. Also went to an RIT Open House and it seemed okay, but I got the impression that kids needed better self-advocacy than I’d expect. I haven’t talked to anyone at DU, because there is a program called CLE (College Living Experience) in Denver that my son went to last summer that helps kids on the spectrum if we find DU’s program deficient. My son went to the summer program not showering daily, not using his phone much or carrying a wallet, he’s now doing all and feels comfortable on light rail in Denver though he doesn’t drive.
The rest of the schools have disability services (shameful that none of the UCs (California) have specific supports), so it will be definitely one of the considerations, along with financial, especially since all of the programs have an added 6k-ish price tag.
Other colleges with programs we 'looked at" on the website, Rutgers, U of A
I don’t have first-hand experience with any of those schools. [My EA attended Endicott but I don’t think had any disabilities]. I have two kids, neither on Aspergers spectrum. My son is severely dyslexic, a bit ADHD and extremely bright. My daughter was anxious/ADHD and very bright. Both, and especially the second one, had difficulty early on with planning/organizing (EF). My son’s EF issues were addressed starting in fourth grade with a truly gifted teacher he had for half a day for two years. Our daughter had serious medical issues and we didn’t get to the ADHD/EF problems until later.
Things have worked out very well for both of my kids. Because the disabilities are different, I won’t go into their histories but have a few suggestions:
Use the Disabilities Services Office. While their primary function is to issue letters to professors about accommodations (in my kids' case, extra time on tests and maybe quiet rooms for one), working with them was particularly helpful as they may have other things to offer. By pre-registering for classes, my son was able to get audio versions of some of the readings, readers and note-takers. My daughter, who did not work so well with the DSO, did with my urging get assigned a peer counselor to help her do her weekly work planning. He was a major in the same department a year or two ahead of her. She transferred to another school (to study nursing instead of biology) and used tutors they provided for a couple of classes that were giving her difficulty. But, I wouldn't assume the DSO will do much. So it will be on you to provide whatever additional support. My son would often ask to dictate to me or the coach who'd helped him in HS/Middle School the letters he would need to send to instructors asking for test accommodations (before each test).
Supply external scaffolding for planning/organizing/EF. We had a coach who worked with our son in middle/HS remained on tap to help him, primarily with time planning. He used this help for a couple of years and then felt he didn't need it. He did dictate some of his papers to her. The coach scanned my son's college email account to make sure he wasn't missing things for a couple of years and then he and then my daughter asked me to do that.
My son is not embarrassed about telling people about his dyslexia and says that classmates are more willing to be helpful. He has recommended that approach to others. I don't know if that would work for OP's son.
A few things have happened. My son and daughter did very well at school (both had GPAs in college of 3.95 or above) and now have jobs (although my son is in his last quarter, he and his partner have raised several million dollars of seed capital for a new venture and my daughter is working very happily as a nurse practitioner at age 24). They have both gotten much better at time planning. My son’s dyslexia will always be an issue as will my daughter’s ADHD/anxiety, but they have gotten much better over the years at time planning and other things that were difficult for them. With my coaching, both moved toward jobs that play to their strengths and are able to a) thrive; and b) find others to help them with the areas in which they are not so strong.
Our son took a bridge semester at Landmark College in Vermont… He had a great experience there. They specialize in kids with earning differences: Asperger’s, ADHD & dyslexia. It really helped him with organizational issues and was a great ego boost.
Landmark is a specialty school, and they have rolling admissions, When our son got home in late May, he announced he was not going back to the university he had been attending, He & we scrambled to figure a better fit for him for the winter semester. It quickly became clear that he needed to get a better handle on his organizational issues. Someone suggested he consider a bridge semester at Landmark. At this point, my husband & I were not able to assist with the application (we were traveling), With Landmark’s help, our son was able to apply & get all the necessary materials in. It is a very caring school and they provide as much or as little hands on help as students need.
I also have a good friend whose son has difficulties with ADHD and severe anxiety. He is extremely bright though. After bombing out of a local school, and other fits & starts, he is now successful at Landmark.
Thanks for all the suggestions thus far. At this point, I may just have my son defer college for a year to work, or go to community college. Aside from ASD, he also struggles with some serious EF issues. I have been trying to work with him this whole year to get him to take more responsibility and be more organized, but have not made as much progress as I hoped. He has his DL and I have taught him to do laundry, but his time management skills and disorganization are major problems. He only inconsistently sets his alarm clock and even when he does set it, he turns it off and goes back to sleep. So I still have to prod him awake every morning. Then he takes forever to get ready for the day (like an hour) and is totally rigid about it, because he has so much social anxiety about being accepted. Not surprisingly, he has been tardy to school many, many times this year. And when I point this out, he has every excuse in the book as to why he is tardy so frequently. I tried him with all the ADHD meds (he has that too) a few years back but nothing was helpful. So I’m at my wits’ end. He certainly is smart about his areas of interest and intellectually curious, but without the EF and social skills, I am not sure what he’ll be able to do. And he is not good with his hands, either, so a trade is probably out of the question.
@oceanstatemom, sounds like a real challenge. My son, with many fewer challenges, took a gap year and would say that this was very helpful. We used to have to work very hard to wake him up. He does that fine on his own.
Also check out your states Department of Disablities/Human Services…they may have programs to get support in getting/retaining jobs and going to college.