Oh my goodness, I’ve booked Channel Road Inn! Looks delightful, and love the ability to borrow the bikes to enjoy the beach path. Thank you for the recommendation, it looks gorgeous. 
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If you end up walking through UCLA and Westwood we like taking our daughter for brunch at the Lazy Daisy.
I know Stockton can be sketchy sometimes but it has a quaint downtown and the UofP campus is also really lovely. I’ve spent some time at the Haggin museum (waiting for kids to finish up honor band rehearsals) and if you have time it provides a nice morning or afternoon. I’ll post anything else I can think of. The trip sounds so exciting!
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Stockton is on I-5, so if you leave from there it might be time-efficient (my quick search says 5:15 hours to Santa Monica. It all depends on when you hit LA, though. Anytime after what, 2:00-ish (?) is risky.
If efficiency is not a priority, Santa Barbara is a great idea. The parts of the drive that have an ocean view are a quintessential California experience.
Oh, and just a heads up on BART and Lamorinda- make sure you get on the correct line coming home. There are three different ones, and you definitely have to change trains if you get the wrong one.
Yes, there are awesome trails around Lamorinda. Some paved and some more rugged. Something for everyone.
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In Oakland the best option is the Claremont Hotel (address is in Berkeley but it’s actually in the Oakland city limits) which is close to the Rockridge BART station and allows a one-train trip into SF and an easy drive over to Moraga. It’s a charming historic hotel.
Also while you are traveling please don’t leave things in your car. Smash and grabs are unfortunately common. It hasn’t happened to me in the Bay Area but I got my windows smashed twice while living in Sacramento. I tell my kids all the time not to leave their stuff in the car - it’s life in the big city. Rental cars are specifically targeted because they assume you have luggage in the trunk (they can spot rental cars by the bar code stickers on the windows.)
And I will also agree with others that she should leave Occidental on the tour if possible. It’s a lovely campus.
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I agree with those who suggest you don’t skip Occidental. It’s a beautiful school in an interesting neighborhood, not right in the city but very close to a Metro stop. If you were to start your tour in Northern California, Oxy would make a logical first stop on the southern leg. If you were to fly, you could fly into Burbank Airport, which is about 10 miles from Oxy and is a very user-friendly airport. (We did not do this, we drove from LAX in the rain and it took approximately forever.) You could rent a car in Burbank and then drive west to see UCLA before heading south to visit the rest of the schools on your list. It would also be pretty straightforward to drive from the Bay Area to Eagle Rock, and that would be more efficient than driving down to Santa Monica and then to and from Eagle Rock and before going on to the other schools. I would not suggest trying to see Oxy and Loyola Marymount on the same day - that would be very tough. With respect to hotels, if you wanted to stop for a night near Oxy, Pasadena is convenient, and the school has a page of hotel information that includes discount information (discounts on car rentals as well). There are lots of great hotels in Santa Monica, depending on your budget and your taste - we have stayed at the Georgian, the Shore and the Fairmont Miramar and enjoyed them all. FWIW, my kids love Santa Monica, both because of the beach and because of the shopping and restaurants on the Third Street Promenade, and Santa Monica would be convenient to Loyola Marymount and UCLA and on the way to San Diego. It seems that Whittier could either be a day trip from Santa Monica or a stop on the way from Oxy, I’m not sure about that.
Yes. I’m going to risk hurting some feelings here by saying Stockton is a dreary city and OP’s daughter should think carefully about this school. I would not want to drive there from the Bay Area, much less live there for four years.
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Not sure whose feelings you were worried about hurting but since we aren’t from California and aren’t going with preconceived notions of which schools will ping for D23 and which ones won’t - no hurt feelings here.
More decisions made here, we are going to stay in La Jolla during the San Diego portion of our trip. Trying to decide where to stay; leaning towards La Valencia but again happy to hear other suggestions. We will only be there for a couple of days so wanted something super close to the ocean and walkable. Looks like La Jolla fits those parameters and the drive to USD seems quick and easy.
Based upon the comments here regarding USF, we did talk with D23 again about the school. It is going to be up to her whether we visit it or not, lots to like about it and some that might not be the best fit for D23. I do appreciate the thoughtfulness of the comments and suggestions. 
Keep the ideas and suggestion coming, they have all been very helpful!
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If you do check out USF and you’re not on an official tour, please make sure to see both parts of campus including Lone Mountain. More than one parent has posted about self-touring and it was apparent that they only saw half the campus; the two sections are separated by one short block, but are quite different in architecture.
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We stayed at La Valencia and liked it a lot. The location is terrific.
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You’ve gotten a lot of great suggestions so far. UoP is really far from the Bay Area, relative to traffic I’d you’re not used to CA traffic. Any given time it’s about 1.5 hour (late at night, no traffic) from San Jose. I honestly wouldn’t feel good driving to UoP at night with the surrounding Stockton area. We’ve gone there a few times to attend games because my daughter’s coach also coaches at UoP. On a reg commute and from San Jose, it can average 3 hours so if you want to stay central with access to public transit, it’s likely Dublin where you can take BART to SF/SJ but would still have to drive to UoP. I assume you’re not interested in the UCs. You will be in the area of Cal with an additional 1 hour to Davis from UoP.
Pepperdine is also close to UCLA area in SoCal, also.
Correct that D23 is not interested in the UCs, great schools but not for D23. The only one we might tour is UCLA and that wouldn’t be to check out the school as a possible application but only to see it as its own thing; a piece of sightseeing if you will.
D23 did consider Pepperdine and it was on her list for a while but it recently dropped off. Cost constraint on that one; it was hard to see how it would come in at the budget we have determined. We decided not to tour it, why set up the chance to fall in love with the campus if it isn’t going to work out money wise?
As for all the cautions regarding our San Francisco portion of the trip, first thank you to everyone who has commented on that. I greatly appreciate the kindness of those who want to make sure we aren’t setting ourselves up for disappointment or disbelief when it comes to the distance of the schools from SF. I did have a fairly good idea of that issue before we started (hence my saying it was a generous description of being SF area in my original post) but all the conversation has been very helpful in getting a better understanding of distance, traffic and expectations.
I think we might end up staying in Oakland for the SF portion of the trip after all. While the hotel options aren’t perfect, there is a lot to like about the central location, the vibe of Oakland and the walkability of the areas near both the 12th St and 19th St BART stations. Thank you to everyone who brought up Oakland as a possibility, D23 excited to stay there.
So right now, as it stands it looks like:
Flying into San Jose
Staying in Oakland for northern California portion of the trip
D23 trying to decide whether to visit UoP or USF - will come down to the time of the campus tours once those two schools release their March schedule.
Driving down from northern California into LA area
Staying in Santa Monica (ht to @Twoin18 for the amazing B&B suggestion)
D23 still on fence about Occidental, again will make determination when campus tour schedules release
Driving down to San Diego
Staying in La Jolla while visiting USD
Flying out from San Diego
Also, thank you for the weather/water temperature heads up. None of us were thinking/planning on swimming in the Pacific while we were there; I always find the Pacific to be cold and not exactly swimming friendly for the thin skinned. We were all more excited for beach walking/biking/watching but again I do appreciate the kindness of the information being shared on this thread. And I am sure D23 will be pushing for those thick sweatshirts at the college bookstores, she would be even if we were going in the height of summer.
Now that we have our main stay locations,
Oakland (near 12th & 19th St BART)
Santa Monica (north of Santa Monica pier)
La Jolla (La Jolla village area)
If anyone has specific restaurant recommendations, sights to see, etc please share them so I can put them on our plans. Thanks again, everyone has been so helpful!
Also, if there are any suggestions of restaurants, sights, stores, etc near any of the colleges themselves, again we would love to hear about those too!
I think you are doing an amazing job doing research ahead of time! I love La Jolla! If you look up Torrey Pines Hanglider Port (I think that’s what you put into the GPS search, too) that is across from UCSD, go all the way to where the hanggliders take off and park (it’s dusty road). Get out and on the left is the entrance down to Blacks Beach. I’m active but wasn’t in the greatest shape, but was able to make it up and down the trail just fine. Maybe a 20 min up and down. I probably could’ve done it in good flip flops. We didn’t know, so I wore shoes. No bathrooms, but it’s not as crowded of a beach. Probably still too cold to swim. If you get to the bottom and turn right, it’s a nude beach. Everyone is chill. University Town Center near UCSD has fun restaurants and a nice place to walk around.
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Hurray for Oakland! That area really dow have a lot to offer. I haven’t been there too often since the pandemic, but I did eat recently at Calavera, which is part of the Hive (https://hiveoakland.com) and enjoyed it a lot. Used to enjoy playing bocce at Make Westing. Also check out the chicken sandwiches at World Famous HotBoys. Here’s an article with more food options:
https://www.sfchronicle.com/projects/2021/uptown-oakland-food-best-day-ever/
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If you’re in the Hive area of Oakland check out Drake’s Dealership (it’s a brew pub). Especially if it’s a chilly day there’s a nice big fireplace inside and really good food and beer.
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Where in Oakland will you be staying? I live in Oakland, am a big cheerleader/fan of the city, and send my kids to Oakland public schools, but a lot of the area around 12th St and 19th St is seedy and I would not recommend it to out-of-towners. Downtown Oakland does not represent the best of Oakland. I wish I had hotel recs for you but please do share which ones you are considering!
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Yay Oakland! It is “on the other side of the tunnel” (locals will get what that means - the Caldacott Tunnel separates Oakland/Berkeley from Lamorinda, and traffic can be bad enough to keep people from going to the other side; plus it is an entirely different microclimate), but it has a ton to offer and is very special.
Right now we are looking at staying at the Marriott city center hotel. Secure parking, close to 12th St BART, close to Oakland Chinatown and less than a 20 minute walk up to a ton of super yummy looking restaurants uptown (we are big walkers so anything less than a mile seems more than fine).
Hotel looks a bit soulless but decent price and decent reviews. If I am going wrong with this choice, please let me know!!
The hotel is fine. Just be prepared for the seediness factor on Broadway. You’re right, there are tons of incredible restaurants around there (heading more uptown, towards 19th St). I just don’t want you to be turned off from Oakland based on your first impression (of downtown) because Oakland has so many wonderful neighborhoods and food and people and almost perfect weather (see, that’s the cheerleader in me coming out!).
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I don’t mind cheerleading for a town at all! I want all your recommendations for where we should stay in Oakland, where we should explore in while we are there, what we should eat, etc. The more recommendations the better as far as I am concerned.
As I think I’ve said before on this thread, I’ve lived in both Chicago (Southside 30 years ago) and NYC (Brooklyn - Fort Greene area 25 years ago) and have lived in and around Chicago for the last 22 years or so. I think I have a pretty good understanding of what urban seediness is (and have a fairly high tolerance/acceptance for it as we like living in urban areas)…I have been assuming Oakland will be quite a bit like those two urban areas? Again, if I am mistaken and I should expect something grittier than Chicago or non-gentrified Brooklyn…please let me know.
The Oakland hotel was chosen for the proximity to the BART as well as proximity to stuff in Oakland we could easily walk to. If there are other hotels you would recommend in Oakland instead that have those two advantages and are a better choice, I am all ears for those suggestions.