Help with my essay?

<p>I was wondering if any of the parents here would like to critique my essay. I dont know if it's appropriate for an admissions essay. I dont even know if it says anything positive about me. </p>

<p>If anyone could help, I'd really appreciate it.</p>

<p>You can PM me, and provide your email address. It may be a day or two before I can respond.</p>