<p>I need help with teaching my "tween" aged son how to organize so that he can continue being a successful student. I was not an organized student, and came from a home where education was not first on the list, (so I am limited in how I can help him). He is a very bright kid, and I would hate for his lack of organization to hinder his possibilities. Any help would be appreciated regarding how you helped your child become more organized, (keeping notebooks, backpacks, calendars, storing, etc.).</p>
<p>I went through this with both my boys, now 16 and 18. We tried everything-- labeled folders, assignment books, assignment books that the teacher stamped to insure completeness. I think the only thing that really helped was growing up a little. They are far from perfect, but their grades are good and we don't have too many eleventh hour crises these days. (They do come by it honestly; DH is the worst of the bunch.)</p>
<p>Responding to: I went through this with both my boys, now 16 and 18. We tried everything-- labeled folders, assignment books, assignment books that the teacher stamped to insure completeness.</p>
<p>This past year alone the kid has misplaced on more that one occasion, his journal topics, his homework, his instructions for his projects; and has forgotten to bring textbooks and other reading material home. And I will not dare even mention, (but of course I must), his bookbag, (a scary deep, dark place where rumpled papers live). I really, really need help with helping him. Once I know that I have given him some great tools, then I can relax and let maturity kick in, (hopefully for the best). I was thinking that this summer I can gather some knowledge from you CC Parents, buy whatever it is I may need to help him, (storage, calendars, etc.), and share my knowledge with him.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.gobinder.com/%5B/url%5D">http://www.gobinder.com/</a></p>
<p>Take a look at Gobinder. It's a educational software program that replaces your paper notebooks with an electronic version. Have your son go to the site and click on the Student button and read through the material. See if this may be something he might be interested in. Gobinder has a 30 day free trial of the software and you can download it to your computer. The program is optimized for Window's based Table PCs (a new kind of laptop with a swivel screen) which has the capabilities to accept hand writing on their LCD screen with a stylus (like a PDA). The program can also work on a standard laptop or even a desktop. With regular computers, you have to type in your notes and such, but the program will still work to help a student organize his class notes and schedule.</p>
<p>Best of all, the program is free for 30 days. If he doesn't like the program and the way it organizes his school work, you are out nothing. </p>
<p>You could get him a PDA to help him get organized, but you'd have to buy him one and if it didn't help, you're out the purchase cost.</p>
<p>Hope this helps...</p>
<p>I didn't realize things were so dire. Have you talked to the teachers and/or counselor? This is not that unusual for "boys of a certain age". Maybe they have some system that lends itself to success in your school.</p>
<p>I spoke to his AG counselor about it and she seems to think that this is normal behavior. I think that if he does not learn how to organize within the next couple of years, his grades will begin to reflect it. He is a great student, well liked, and seems to be a principal/teacher dream student, and I certainly envy his academic acheivements, (as I was not a great student). Guess I am just a nervous parent.</p>
<p>You know, I just reread your list and, honestly, my kids (S2 in particular) did all those things. I tried to micromanage him (i.e. have the teacher check to see that all the assignments were written down, then I would check to see that they were completed and back in the backpack, then the teacher would let me know if work wasn't turned in . . .) in hopes that it would become a habit and he would manage on his own. But it never really worked that well and we would get into arguments and I finally just decided that he had to sink or swim. And if he sank, hopefully he'd learn something. It all worked out. I would trust the counselor. (I know, it's not easy.)</p>
<p>One thing to to have S figure out his learning style, that will help is organization</p>
<p>and have different supplies at home
binders, folder, 3x5 cards, highlighters, day planner, that kind of thing</p>
<p>also, have a place in the house where his stuff has to go- a shelf that his stuff must go on so if yo find things, they go there</p>
<p>quopoe: There was a truly hysterical thread a while back which morphed itself into a discussion of boys' disorganization, the scariness of those backpacks, the "wad theory" of boy paper management...</p>
<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=31644&highlight=Males+Advantage%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=31644&highlight=Males+Advantage</a> (starts around post #13 and goes on for a few pages; should give you a chuckle or two)</p>
<p>It may not give you any helpful hints, but it may give you some solace. Although I don't remember the college outcomes of all the boys whose moms posted there, I can tell you that my S ended up with a large merit scholarship at Tulane, I remember mootmom's S in there (he'll be at MIT) etc. etc.</p>
<p>I never noticed any of the helpful organizing aids to help my S at all. I'm all for your trying, but if the grades are there, I wouldn't worry too much. They seem to succeed despite themselves. One thing I noticed as my S matured is that, while the physical mess never disappeared and the obvious approaches to good organization (bulletin boards, assignment pads,...) never appeared, what DID happen was that he got more and more independent in handling his school assignments, schedule, EC schedule, etc. It's a total mystery to me how he did it, but he did.</p>
<p>there is a great book out there called "Getting Things Done" that explains exactly how to organize your life and get everything out of your head and into a system you set up. While targeted more for adults, I think a kid could also learn a lot from it. The beauty of it is that while it lays out a complete system, how much of it you do is up to you. You may even be able to find the book at your local library.</p>
<p>There was a review of the book in the Atlantic Monthly (July 2004); you can read the first few paragraphs (if you're not a subrscriber) at <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/prem/200407/fallows2%5B/url%5D">http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/prem/200407/fallows2</a></p>
<p>If I had one thing to do over again it would have been to be a much better observer and processor of information for my own little brain. I would have observed my son and thought about how I could intervene at times and how best to approach this. I would have studied child psychology more and been mostly very quiet.</p>
<p>As it was, I stamped around some and slammed a few doors. I knew that if he didn't wake up and get more organized he just wasn't going to do well. I was wrong. </p>
<p>He is learning at his own pace, has taken the hardest course in high school, is going on to college with many acceptances, is an interesting person, has already been offered a "cool" job at the university for next year.</p>
<p>Is he organized? Not the way I consider organized to be. His recommendation on how to learn organizational skills, "they have to know that no one will be there to organize them except themselves."</p>
<p>I have had to keep it very, very simple with my boys. I am not so organized myself naturally, so I know the syndrome well. It was not until I was well into adulthood, and up to my ears in chaos that I forced myself into a regiment, and it really involves KISS.</p>
<p>I want them to keep one notebook per class with notes taken EVERYDAY. A 3 subject works well, because one section is for daily notes, another for study notes, another for homework/other stuff. A spiral notebook should be good quality with built in pockets for loose papers. I pay a bounty for complete notebooks which has been somewhat of an incentive. The other organizer is a plastic "milk carton" with hanging files where papers are kept. They are not always organized well in the categories, but at least there is a place to put unopened mail, important papers. The only other thing I give is a calender that I nag them to use to write in appointments and important things, and try to get them to look at it each morning so that they know what day it is. That is it. Even then they have backslid. Fancier systems have simply not worked. </p>
<p>Mikemac, thanks for the book suggestion. I am getting a copy of it. I still need help.</p>
<p>Jmmom, smart kids often get hit the hardest at college when they no longer can just keep it all in the brain and use reminders during the school days as help. At a challenging college, with rigorous courses, the degree of the brain used can make a difference in whether even a very bright kid takes notes and organizes. Also since kids are on different schedules and are not as intertwined as in highschool, they do not get reminders that the big concert is tomorrow night or that some other event is ont he agenda since everyoe is on his own schedule. My son leeched off of everyone else's awareness for years. Also moms (me included) intervene which just does not happen at college, and teachers are less personal. My son's advisior has saved his hide many times on events that he just did not track and would have missed if she weren't on his case. That is not going to happen in college. I was fine about being calender and note free for a number of years while the kids were little but when my life started getting more complicated, I was dropping the ball too many times. I could not remember everything as I ran out of gray cells. And I went farther than most people as I always had an excellent memory, and tend to brood on upcoming events so that they are always on my mind. It was a big blow that I had to be disciplined to write everything down, and I still inwardly rebel at times, as I hate to be so constrained.</p>
<p>Our son was and is totally unorganized. I would suggest a few things to help him along.</p>
<p>First, we made him set aside a specific time/place each nite for school work. During middle school it was one hour and in hs it was two hours. He decided to block out 7-9pm to work with no TV, IM'ing or telephone calls. Some nites he needed more time but we let him work that out for himself.</p>
<p>Second, his hs gave each student a daily scheduler to write down homework assignments, ec dates, etc. We encouraged him to also include progress reminders for large projects to encourage him to plan ahead.</p>
<p>Along the same line, we expected him to begin research projects, book reports, term papers, etc soon after it was assigned and to finish it up a few days before the due date. This helped him to learn the bennies of planning ahead! While his friends were frantically finishing papers at 3am the nite before the due date, he was chilling out with other friends.</p>
<p>His first year at Rensselaer he used a freeware program called Stickit which is a scheduler he installed on both his laptop and desktop computers and gave him reminders the minute he booted up each day and alarms throughout the day when necessary.</p>
<p>He is still unorganized but disciplined enough to handle the important things effectively. And yes his dorm was a disaster area.</p>
<p>jamimom, post a reply in this thread someday after you've had a chance to read thru the book "Getting Things Done" about what you think of it. I hope that it gives you some ideas.</p>
<p>BTW one thing that isn't emphasized that much in the book is electronic assistants. A lot of us work with computers and you can use Outlook features (especially Calendar and Tasks) to do many of the things he uses paper and folders for. One other thing I couldn't live without these days is a mini-size digital voice recorder. They are relatively cheap and I can use it to "remember" things for me. Its so small its always in my pocket and I can use it while driving or any other place away from paper/pen if something I need to do pops into my mind. Later I enter the info into the system.</p>
<p>From the trenches.... make sure he's not trying to multitask, which is a sure fire way to disaster for a disorganized boy. That means:
no homework while eating and reading the cereal box
no reading while tv is on, even in an adjacent room
no doing math on the bus home while playing cards with his seatmate,
Etc. You know the rest, I'm sure.</p>
<p>We were not believers in micromanagers, since we figured he'd be going off to college by himself, but we did set down the ground rules and gave him space to figure out his own system. Ground rules-- no tv till homework is done. You work in only one spot, i.e. no wandering around doing math in the kitchen, finishing a project in the bedroom, etc. Library books returned by the due date or fine comes out of his pocket.</p>
<p>The best thing you can do for him is to model organization skills-- let him see that the kitchen table is for paying bills but that you don't do it while eating a bowl of chili. He will pick up on your habits if you work to make them good ones.</p>
<p>
Bingo! I will be covering this concept in our dinner table "college sound bite" program here at jmmom's house.</p>
<p>I do have him trying out the Outlook organizer on his computer this month - for all his end of year commitments/appointment, to see if that works. If it does, he can use it next year. But as you've pointed out, that's not a true test, because most of those items are common to all his gang and so their awareness may do the job for him.</p>
<p>***There was a truly hysterical thread a while back which morphed itself into a discussion of boys' disorganization, the scariness of those backpacks, the "wad theory" of boy paper management...</p>
<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com...Males+Advantage%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com...Males+Advantage</a> (starts around post #13 and goes on for a few pages; should give you a chuckle or two)***</p>
<p>Was this not funny! I saw my son so clearly in many of the messages. Maybe it's a boy thing, and I need to just chill, (smiles).</p>
<p><em>*As it was, I stamped around some and slammed a few doors. I knew that if he didn't wake up and get more organized he just wasn't going to do well. I was wrong. *</em></p>
<p>I have stomped some, and fussed a bit. I am so hoping that it will all come together in the long run. We still have some years ahead of us, as he is a beginning "tween." </p>
<p>Thank you all for sharing. I'll be sure to keep you posted in the future!</p>
<p>Quo</p>