help with parents....

<p>OK, so the current situation is that my parents are refusing to pay for any schools other than in state publics. I like the publics in my state, but there are definitely others I like better (ie there are a few privates I like better). Do you have any suggestions to convince them to pay for a private school? What if they refuse, is there anything I can do but apply for a buttload of scholarships and hope for the best? (according to the efc calculator on CC, I should be able to get some financial aid freshman and sophomore years but not a lot, and then I should be able to get enough financial aid junior and senior years to cover about half of the expenses for a private school because my sister is in college those years)</p>

<p>bump. please, somebody!</p>

<p>Apply to privates that give substantial merit scholarships. Be aware that you will have to be in the very top 1% or so of the students that apply in order to be in the running for these scholarships. </p>

<p>Understand the realities of outside scholarships: lots of work writing essays (one size fits all will not work), relatively small chance of receiving them (chances rise with local scholarships, but they are usually for lower amounts), many are only for one year, for most schools they will be applied first towards any FA that you receive (not your EFC), usually loans first, then workstudy and finally any grants.</p>

<p>Remember, your parents are very generous to be willing to pay for your instate, make the best of your situation however it ends up. Good luck!</p>

<p>All you can do is sit and talk with them. That means ask them questions - why? What's your financial status like? Listen, really listen to their concerns. Review your state schools and compare them to the ones you want to go to. Have a cogent argument, backed up by facts, about why College X is worth $30,000 more per year than State U. (Whining, "everybody is applying to. . ", "No one's going to. . .", or "Because I like it better" are not cogent arguments.)</p>

<p>As far as financial aid goes - are your parents willing to fill out the financial aid applications if you apply to private schools? If so, then you might get sufficient aid; then again, you may not. If your parents still refuse to pay for a private, all you can do is apply for scholarships, or take time off and work.</p>

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<p>First of all...the EFC calculators calculate your expected family contribution, not your financial aid award. The school calculates your finaid award, and with most privates that would be institutional methodology involving the submission of the FAFSA AND Profile. Also, I would not count my chickens before they hatch. Suppose that your younger sib decides not to GO to college?</p>

<p>The schools that meet your full need (above the EFC) are amongst the most competitive in the country. The first hurdle you have is you have to get accepted. AND even with that, only a very very small number of schools do not include loans as part of their finaid packages. What this means is that many schools look at your EFC but they do NOT provide all the additional funding to bring you up to the cost of attendance....called "gapping". In other words, if the school doesn't meet full need, you are likely not going to get that full need met.</p>

<p>Now...having said all that. I applaud your parents and you for discussing finances NOW. I'm not clear...will your parents pay for a private school as long as the cost does not exceed the cost of your state U? The one "loose cannon" out there is that you do have to apply for finaid annually, and if your school does not guarantee your award for four years, you could be stuck financially in future years. Also, factor in the 5% or so increase in costs as well. Seldom does the finaid award increase to match that (at schools that don't meet full need).</p>

<p>I'm a parent and I know other parents who approach college funding the same way as your parents. They will pay up to either state public any where or in-state public only. If the student chooses private, they have to foot the difference.</p>

<p>All of these parents have very good financial reasons for going this route and I have to respect them and your parents for being upfront and candid about this.</p>

<p>Having said this, you can still apply to these schools and go through the whole process and then see if you can make it work financially when it comes time to making your acceptance decision.</p>

<p>I think they're willing to pay for an instate public school (~$15000 a year).</p>

<p>First off, thanks so much for your help!<br>
Thumper1, true I shouldn't count my chickens before they hatch, but honestly, I couldn't imagine my sister not going to college, though she could have a change of heart.
So, when you say top privates meet full need, that's different than the efc? Also, how top are we talking, just top 10-20 schools, or more like top 30-50?</p>

<p>I am also a parent. We told our D way up front that if she wanted to go anywhere other than instate she would have to find a way to pay the difference herself - scholarships, loans etc. For us that was simply a financial reality that we made sure she understood very early in the college process. As her bachelors is not the final target for her education wise she came to the realisation that it was not worth the debt to go out of state. For her State U she is in the top tier stats wise so has ended up with a lot of merit aid which, coupled with some need based aid and her job for personal expenses, means that we are having to contribute very little. This means we will be able to help her with her professional school costs in 4 years time so she will not come out $100,000 in debt (again something we told her up front - if she could get most of her undergrad paid for then we could help her with the next stage). For her it is a compromise she is very happy with - but she is very practical when it comes to money - especially her own money ;).</p>

<p>So look at the big picture - not just that you 'want' to go out of State or private but why, what are the benefits, is your bachelors the final target or are you planning for a masters, med school etc. Where are you 'stats' wise for these schools - high enough that you may score some good merit money? How much will the dream of going out of State or Private cost you, how much debt will you incur and will that debt hamper your plans beyond graduation. Find out from your parents exactly what they are willing or able to contribute (and will they contribute that amount wherever you go if you are willing/able to fund the difference yourself) then sit down yourself and figure out if it is possible or realistic to look at these schools. If you do go ahead then also find some good financial safeties as previous posters have said.</p>

<p>I have no clue what your families financial status is but there is a 'reality' check here that your parents have to also think of their own futures and perhaps it is just not financially feasible for them to pay for private schools. If that is the case you will just have to adjust your expectations - and be thankful they are telling you up front and not letting you get accepted then tell you they cannot pay for it. I know a couple of kids that has happened to.</p>

<p>I understand where your parents are coming from. I ok with paying full fare for top schools in/out of state otherwise D is leaning toward the top UCs. D is going to apply for some LACs that offer merit aid so the tuition is on par with UCs tuition. As long as I'm working, I'm willing to fund for graduate school.</p>

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<p>You need to read the websites of the schools. I can tell you that the Ivy League generally meets full need. Of course, the obstacle there is that the Ivies accept only 10% of those who apply. Many other top 50 schools do NOT meet full need (NYU for example). EFC is your Expected FAMILY Contribution...what your family will be expected to pay at least. But remember...meeting your need can be done with loans. </p>

<p>I would suggest that you post the private schools that you are interested in, along with some information about yourself. Remember...this is a message board and none of us are experts...but someone may be willing to venture a guess as to your chances of acceptance...they might know if the school(s) meet full need, and they also might know about need vs merit aid at some of these schools. Right now we are answering your questions in generalities.</p>

<p>phonyreal, I think our parents are twins :)</p>

<p>if a person's family income was approx 100,000/year, what are the chances of getting any financial aid at an Ivy League school?</p>

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<p>You might get aid, but not a lot of it. Your first obstacle, however, would be to be in the 10% of students who are accepted. With an income of $100,000 your EFC will likely be somewhere between $20,000 and $30,000 per year. If your family has any assets (home equity or savings) it would be at the higher end of that estimate most likely. And the Ivies also expect a student contribution.</p>

<p>I am not sure where you are looking but Davidson now has the "no loan" program. You might be able to get by with less $$$ out of pocket there, now and in the future (post grad). Also, Hillsdale College (michigan) states their goal is that no student graduates owing more than one year in tuition. We have found that to be true for our son who goes there. They have GREAT aid, a huge endowment for a tiny school, great academics - but you can't take federal or state loan/grant money there. They have their own programs which make up for it.</p>

<p>Here is another thought: Grove City Col in western PA where total costs (room, board, tuition, fees, etc) come to around $12K or so. Less than that tuition at a pricey instate U. </p>

<p>I think it is great that your parents said up front how much they can give you. We've done that with our children and they know - no free ride from Mom and Dad.</p>

<p>My advice to the OP is the same as it is to the similar posters that I have seen--grow up. Many kids in this country would give their right arm for the deal that your parents are offering to you. A degree from some college is important to your future job prospects; a degree from a private college is a luxury item.</p>

<p>You may well be able to get enough merit money from a private LAC to make it financially competitive with your instate public. If not--well, be grateful for what you are being offered.</p>

<p>I agree totally with EMM1. We told our children the exact same thing. They choose different instate colleges and are very happy with their choices. Now that it is August it is amazing to hear the parents of kids going out of state complain about all of the traveling and all of the cost. My question is "didn't you think about this last fall?"</p>

<p>We have been able to enjoy an occasional college football game (where we sit separate from our student) and then a family lunch or dinner before we return home again. This has made for a nice experience for everyone.</p>

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[quote]
OK, so the current situation is that my parents are refusing to pay for any schools other than in state publics. I like the publics in my state, but there are definitely others I like better (ie there are a few privates I like better).

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<p>I would just sit down with your parents and just gently introduce the fact that you would like to add some private universities to your list of prospective schools. </p>

<p>For example, is there a major which you truly love which is not offered at the public in state universities? Are there different organisations and academic opportunities at some of these private universities which you feel would just truly make a profound difference in your educational experience? </p>

<p>I mean, I think that having parents pay for in state public universities must just be a glorious thing, man. If I had that kid of opportunity, I would just do straight honors and rock things academically and then save the private universities for grad school. However, if there are just some awfully neat things at the privates, then you should at least gently introduce the possibility of your attending a private to your mother and father. </p>

<p>Good luck. phonyreal98.</p>

<p>Be willing to make up the difference yourself between what your parents are willing to fund and your dream school. This could include getting a job including during the school year, taking out loans, earning merit aid, and even joining ROTC or participating in other programs that will help close the gap between the type of school you want and what your parents are willing to pay.</p>