Help with upenn essay critiquing

<p>I would really like if I could get some critiques on my upenn essay especially the community one..</p>

<p>I really need some help on making it better! Thanks :)!</p>

<p>Sure I’ll read if you read my why carneige essay.</p>

<p>I will read your UPenn essay since I’m done.</p>

<p>PM me :)</p>