<p>My S is quietly confident. Great student, just accepted at WUSTL and waiting to hear from 4 more very selective schools. However, he drove me crazy last summer when we visited 3 schools. I ended up asking most of the questions to students, faculty, etc. Yes, it's easy for me and NO, I was not and do not wish to steer his college choice. But if I did not ask, then we leave with little more than a snapshot of the school that could be had from their website or this forum.(and this is a great forum!!) What advice can you give me for getting him excited about 1) an overnight visit, or, 2) really asking questions at a visit to determine his best fit? Thanks in advance!</p>
<p>Let him visit alone, buy him a ticket and send him on a plane/ train? He will figure out what he needs during his visit. Some people are pretty flexible once their few conditions are met...</p>
<p>I really think you have to leave it up to him. It's his choice, and he must decide how to make it. His ways to decide may not be the same as yours.</p>
<p>My son visited four colleges after acceptance. He went alone--partly of his choosing, partly because we couldn't afford airline tickets for more than one. I don't know how many questions he asked or what parts of campus he checked out. But he learned what he felt he needed to learn to make the decision. And he is, as a freshman this year, very happy with the decision he made.</p>
<p>Eventually the kids have to grow up. It's not easy for us to let them sometimes, especially when we are concerned that they may not be doing things in the smartest way. But it may be time to stand back and let him do things his way, offering support if needed, but not pushing.</p>
<p>i agree with lindalana.</p>
<p>i visited several colleges with my parents, but i have to say that my solo visit was the best experience. i got a plane ticket and a host on campus. it was nice to be in control and responsible for myself instead of having my parents looking out for me, and it forced me to be more assertive. </p>
<p>also,i didn't stand out as a prospective (until i asked questions) since my parents weren't tagging along behind me, so i was able to freely blend in with the students. i had been to the school for a two-hour visit with the parents before, but i found that i got a lot more useful (and more honest) information the second time around.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice! I like the idea of "dropping him off". There are 3-4 schools Lehigh, Bucknell, Lafayette, and CMU in Pennsylvania and one possible in new england to visit. Logistics say that simply flying him in to Pitt is unlikely. But, perhaps I will occupy myself with golf, movies, and a hotel room while he is exploring. Nonetheless, if you have kids similar to mine, how can he be prepped to ask the questions to help him decide. And I don't mean, how's the food? LOL</p>
<p>Many of the admitted students days have separate sessions for prospective students and parents. That way I get to be part of the experience, can ask questions if I want and I don't have to embarrass my S. Afterwards we can share information, he is happy that I ask the questions that he didn't think about and I get to hear about what he experienced.</p>
<p>It's the best of both worlds. I like admitted student's days for this reason. Also I would talk to your child, maybe he likes that you ask questions. Personally, I find tours where no one talks (parents or students) to be really hard on both the prospective students and the tour guide (and I have been on a couple where no one asks any questions), it makes for a better impression on the school if there is engagement between the tour guide and the group.</p>
<p>Starting with how he would rank them right now might be a good place to start. That could lead to the "why" question that would make him think about the various criteria he considered. If he need affirmation about his perceptions of or clarification about his doubts about each school, he could ask those questions during his visit.</p>
<p>Another thought: Are there any kids from his HS at those particular schools? (The GC would know.) By contacting those kids, your S might feel more comfortable asking questions.</p>
<p>Good luck, and have fun!</p>
<p>We're in the same boat. Right now son is signed up for three admitted student events. One is at the state college. I believe that he and my husband will be seperated so he'll be on his own for most of it. The second is out of state and he'll have an overnight with a student, attend a class and we'll take a tour together. I love the overnight idea. Even without verbalizing his questions, I think he will find out if it fits. The third is another oos college and he'll spend the night with a friend who attends (might end up sleeping at hotel with me, but spend most of the night with friend) and then we have the official accepted student event the next morning where again, we'll be seperated for different info sessions.</p>
<p>We've been having frequent family discussions about what each of us thinks is important in a college and we're trying to stress that those priorities might be different for each person. We just want son to feel comfortable and that the college he picks has enough choices so that he can hopefully spend all four years at the same college. Going in undeclared at a smallish LAC is just a trifle scary to us, but our son seems willing to make that leap. My husband thinks it's better to leap undeclared at a state school but son doesn't appear to be leaning that way. At some point (probably April 30th) I think we have to just stand back and let our kids trust their own instincts and knowledge.</p>